She paused for a moment and took in a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing? I mean, with the race and with letting Paislie go.”
Just the mention of her name caused my heart to ache. I tried so hard to hide the pain in my knee and leg from everyone that I started taking it out on Paislie. The one person who was doing her damnedest to help me and I fucked up. I promised her I wouldn’t hurt her. She trusted me. I’d never be able to forget the look of hurt in her eyes.
“Have a safe flight back to North Carolina, Janet.”
I had never dismissed her like that, but I needed to clear my head. It had been a month since Paislie had walked out of my life. After a few appointments with the NASCAR doctors, I had them convinced I was ready to drive again. I needed to get back behind the wheel. The need to be racing around a track at almost two hundred miles an hour was greater than ever before. The rush I had with Paislie was the only thing that compared to the rush I felt driving, and even racing wasn’t nearly the same kind of feeling.
My phone buzzed as I glanced down at it.
Emmit: When are you coming in to town?
Me: Tomorrow.
Emmit: Dinner? My house? Addie would love to see you and so would Landon.
The thought of seeing them made my stomach drop. Emmit had everything I wanted.
Me: I’ll try but I may be busy trying to get back into the swing of things.
Emmit: Totally get it. Let me know if you can.
I stared at the text messages. It was hard to believe I now considered Emmit to be one of my closest friends. It wasn’t long ago we practically hated each other. Now I was having dinner at his house and playing with his son.
My hand dropped to my side as I stared out the window. Paislie was nothing like Casey. So why did I let it slip?
I brought the beer that was in my other hand up to my lips and drank the rest of it. I needed to feel numb. I needed to forget about Paislie Pruitt if I wanted to get back into the swing of things.
Forget Paislie.
I could never forget the only woman I’d ever loved.
My eyes closed as I dropped my head back and slowly let sleep take over. I barely heard the bottle hit the floor as I drifted off into a dream.
Richmond—one of my favorite tracks and the best place for my comeback race.
“How are you feeling, Malcolm?”
“Emmit?” Hearing Emmit’s voice over the radio made me smile bigger than I wanted. “What in the fuck are you doing?”
“Applying for your crew chief position.”
I let out a roar of laughter as I waited for the green flag to drop.
“Hey, in all seriousness, be careful out there today. Listen to your body.”
I gripped the steering wheel harder as my emotions had me damn near choked up. “It means a lot to me you’re here for this.”
“I know. I can’t wait to rub it in your face when you lose.”
With a smile, I shook my head. “Fuck off, asshole.”
“One more to go,” Russ said into my ears. Damn it was good hearing his voice. I missed this. Missed us chasing each other around in a circle.
As we came around turn four, I said a quick prayer my leg and knee would cooperate today. I was stunned when I got the pole in qualifying. Goes to show this shit was in my blood.
“Green . . . go go go,” Russ shouted.
I hit the gas and gave it my all. “Let’s do this,” I said as I focused on nothing other than winning. Nothing else mattered. The only thing I had in my life was this racecar. As fucking pathetic as that sounded . . . it was true.
A hundred and ten laps in and I could feel my leg and that wasn’t a good thing.
“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath as I tried to ignore the throbbing around my knee.
Russ counted me down as I came in for a scheduled pit stop. “Five, four, three, two, one.”
Dalton barked out orders as I waited for the signal.
“Go, go, go!” Dalton yelled in my ear as I took off in the race off pit road. I only had to get ahead of the number twenty. He was a rookie and I hadn’t raced against him yet. Little bastard was trying to do his best to get around me. Either he would be going into the wall or I would be and I was going to make damn sure it wasn’t me.
“Twenty to go . . . wreck in turn two. Stay on the apron.”
Oh fuck.
I was going into the turn blind, with only Russ telling me where to go. It’s not like I hadn’t done it a million times, but this was the first time since my accident. The sweat was pouring down my face as my heart practically beat out of my chest.
“Go. You’re clear.”
I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath until I blew it out.
“How ya doing, Wallace?” Dalton asked.
My leg was feeling numb. The pain no longer there . . . it was replaced by numbness. “Fine,” was my only response.
“Ten to go.”
“Where’s the twenty?” I asked.
“A car length back and falling. You’re coming up to lap traffic. Stay on your run. Stay outside.”