I held onto her tightly as she hugged me for what seemed like forever.
When she stepped back, she shook her head. “You’re going to become so famous. People will go crazy when you drive around those tracks.”
I laughed as I took her hands in mine. “Let’s hope. I’m not starting out driving full time. I have to work my way up and earn that, but this is a great move. I’m one down from the big times, Casey. This could change our future.”
She nodded enthusiastically. “I know.” With a huge smile on her face, she pulled me closer to her. “Let’s go to the cabin. I want to be with you. Let’s celebrate by making love.”
I placed my hand on the side of her face. “Sounds like a fucking amazing idea.”
Our cabin was six miles outside of Waco and was on the old dairy farm that was my grandfather’s. The cabin Casey and I would go to was the old original cabin. It was our spot and the place where we made love for the first time over a year ago.
Casey grabbed my hand and pulled it to her lips. “Malcolm, do you see us getting married someday?”
I turned to look at her quickly before looking back at the road. My heart felt as if it froze. Casey mentioning marrying her had me a bit freaked out, but I knew I cared about her. Hell, she was the only girl I’d ever loved. “Yeah, I see us getting married someday.”
“Tell me I’ll be the only girl you’ll ever love. Promise me that.”
I hesitated for a moment and I wasn’t sure why. With a smile on my face, I squeezed her hand and went to tell her just that when all I heard were tires skidding. The lights from another car shined into my truck as I felt the force of their vehicle slam into the passenger side.
After my truck stopped spinning, I called out Casey’s name when I saw her lifeless body. The whole side of her face was bleeding. Another driver helped me pull her from the car as I checked to see if she was breathing.
Nothing.
I started CPR on her as I heard someone behind me crying.
I didn’t answer her. Shit! I didn’t answer her.
“Please don’t leave me! You’ll always be the only girl I’ll ever love. Baby, don’t leave me! I swear to you, Casey!”
“By the time the ambulance got there, she hadn’t been breathing for over ten minutes. She was gone.”
I fought to hold my tears in. “I never got to answer her. She died before I had a chance to tell her what she wanted to hear. Since that day, I never took another moment for granted. Life can be stripped from us like that,” I said as I snapped my fingers. “I was living life for her. Every time I got behind the wheel of a racecar, I raced for her. Every time I jumped out of a plane, I did it for her. That rush I got out of it only reminds me that each day is a gift and how her life was stripped of that gift.”
Janet placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. “Oh darling, what a terrible thing to happen to you at such a young age.” She paused for a moment and then shook her head. “You can’t not ever love again, Malcolm. You need to open your heart and let love in. Casey would not have wanted you to go through life not loving someone.”
I looked down at my hands. “I know, Janet. I know. The thought of opening my heart to someone else is frightening, though.” I exhaled a deep breath as my cheeks blew out. The only woman who ever made me feel alive other than Casey had been Paislie. And the fact that I’d only been around her a few times and she brought out more feelings in me than even Casey did scared the ever-living fuck out of me. I was positive Janet saw it in my eyes.
“You’ll never know unless you go for it. Life is messy, you know that. But wouldn’t you have rather have loved and lost, than to have never known what that feeling of love was like?”
“Considering the hell I went through after her death, I’m not sure how to answer that.”
Janet’s eyes pooled with tears as I heard little feet running down the hall. Janet stepped away and headed over to the sink when Sophie ran into the kitchen.
“I showed Paislie my room and she said she would have loved to have had a room like mine when she was little!”
My eyes peeked over to Paislie who stood awkwardly in the doorway to the kitchen. “Did you show her where her room was?”
Sophie shook her head. “Nope. I thought you wanted to show her.”
Sophie skipped over to Janet. “Am I eating lunch with Uncle Malcolm and Paislie?”
With a laugh, Janet said, “Oh no! We’re having a picnic outside in the backyard under your favorite oak tree.” She reached for a basket and showed it to Sophie. “See! I packed us a lunch.”
“Oh yay! Let’s go, Ms. Janet! Let’s go!”
Paislie and I both chuckled as Sophie pulled Janet out the back door and down the path to Sophie’s favorite spot.
“She has a ton of energy; I don’t know how my sister does it,” I said as I watched them through the glass window as they walked away.