I know that I have to shut all of this down now though. I can't let myself get too invested in him emotionally. For him, this is a business deal. A way to ensure his inheritance and make sure he doesn't lose his father's company – or his precious football team. This whole sham marriage is nothing more than a mutually beneficial relationship.
And I really need to remember that if I want to keep myself from getting hurt.
Still – there are times when he looks at me or says something that makes me think there could be more there. Something underneath the surface. There's some small piece of me that genuinely wonders if he could actually be into me.
It's unlikely. It's probably even highly doubtful. But still, those thoughts persist and I'm left to question whether it's a product of wishful thinking or because it's true.
“We're home,” he says.
The driver opens the door and we slide out, Brady carrying a limp and sleeping Nicholas up the short set of stairs to the front door of the house. The door opens before we get there and I see Miss Delia standing there with a smile on her face.
“Looks like somebody had a big day,” she says.
Brady nods. “He was out before we even left the park.”
“Bless his heart,” she says.
“Amanda, why don't you go grab a drink and I'll meet you on the back deck,” he says. “I want to go put Nicholas to bed.”
I nod and follow Miss Delia out to the back deck, as instructed. “What can I get you to drink, dear?” she asks.
“Oh, water will be fine,” I say. “Thank you.”
She nods and disappears back into the house. The sky overhead is dark and there's a bit of a chill in the air, but it feels wonderful. A moment later, Miss Delia appears and hands me a glass with some ice water in it.
“Thank you,” I say and take a drink.
Miss Delia stands there looking at me, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. The way she's standing there reminds me of somebody holding on to a secret they're just bursting to tell.
“What is it, Miss Delia?” I ask.
“Brady really likes you.”
“I hope so,” I say, knowing I have to play my role. “I'm – pretty fond of him as well.”
“You're the first woman he's ever introduced to Nicholas,” she says. “He's always so careful about that.”
“Nicholas is a great kid,” I say.
“He is,” she replies. “He's a very special little boy.”
I give her a smile and take another drink of water. As I stand there, I can't help but feel like Miss Delia is taking my measure. That she's weighing me, judging my worth and my value. It feels a lot like how it would feel to have an overprotective mother eyeballing me. And I realize that she's as protective about Brady as she is Nicholas.
“You know,” she says. “I've known Brady since he was a little boy. I probably know him better than he knows himself. And I can tell you that he seems to really like you.”
I give her a smile. “And what makes you say that?”
“The way he talks about you. But mostly, the way he looks at you,” she replies. “Especially when you're not looking. He just seems to have this look of adoration on his face that I don't think I've ever seen.”
“Thank you for telling me that,” I say as heat rushes into my cheeks.
“Of course,” she replies, and then whispers conspiratorially, “we girls have to stick together and look out for one another in this man's world, don't we?”
I laugh and nod as she turns and walks back into the house. What she's saying makes my breath catch in my throat. I've been operating under the assumption that we're doing our best to sell this illusion of our impending marriage. That we're creating a detailed and intricate facade – a fact that was underscored by him telling me he had his personal assistant anonymously tip off the paparazzi that we'd be at the zoo today. Our first official coming out appearance.
Because he is who he is – Brady Keating, San Antonio's most eligible and sought-after bachelor – the news that he was at the zoo with some new mystery woman drew the paparazzi there like moths to the flame. I was a little put off at first, but had to reel it back in and remember that this is a deal we struck – our relationship has to be public. Which isn't all that hard to accomplish, given the fact that he's such a public personality.
Miss Delia, so far as I know, doesn't know about our little arrangement. Doesn't know that we're setting this all up to have a sham wedding – and that this is nothing more than a mutually beneficial relationship. So, it's possible that we're just selling this illusion incredibly well.
But the fact that she's known him since he was a kid – and according to her, knows him better than he knows himself – makes me wonder if she's seeing something more. Something I'm not. Could Brady actually be interested in me? Is it possible?
I shake my head, telling myself that no, it's not possible. That I'm nothing more than a business arrangement for him. A means to an end. But still, there's that nagging little voice in the back of my mind that makes me wonder. Is it the voice of pointless hope? Or the voice of my intuition – something that's rarely wrong.
Things have been chaotic and a whirlwind in my head for a little while now and I'm beginning to doubt that I can trust myself. Especially when it comes to anything Brady-related. The man has me all twisted up like a pretzel and there are times I don't know up from down.
“Did you have a good time today?”
His voice cuts through the maelstrom of thoughts in my head and I turn, giving Brady a smile and he hands me a glass of champagne. I don't necessarily feel like drinking – especially since I have to drive home soon – but I feel compelled to take it anyway.
And as the bubbly hits my tongue, I realize in that moment that everything today has been so perfect and I just want this evening to last.
“I had an amazing time,” I reply. “Thank you, Brady. I still can't believe you rented out the entire park for us.”
He shrugs. “I really don't like crowds.”
“Apparently.”
He turns to me. “I'm glad you had fun,” he says. “I had a wonderful day with you as well.”
I'm staring into his light blue eyes, feeling my pulse quicken. We stare into each other's eyes for several long moments, a companionable silence between us. But there's something more there than a companionable feeling. Something below the surface. A feeling of anticipation. Expectation.
And before I know what's happening, Brady leans forward and presses his lips to mine, kissing me with a feeling like burning desire.
Chapter Nineteen
I pull away and take a step back, stunned. The warm tingling from his lips is still upon mine and I feel lightheaded – and not from the champagne. I look at him with wide eyes and see the same expression on his face mirrored back at me.
“I – I'm sorry,” he says weakly. “I don't know what came over me right there.”
I shake my head. “No, it's okay,” I reply. “No need to apologize.”
I take another sip of champagne and stare out into the darkness of the night, my heart thundering in my chest. I can't believe he kissed me. And maybe I'm just thinking like an idiot girl with a crush, but that kiss felt – different. There was a genuine passion and heat, and yet a tenderness, to it – something I never would have thought Brady could have felt for me.
I feel dazed. Confused. But also, something more. Something I can't place or define. I feel like the high, thick walls I've constructed inside of myself have started to crack, to crumble, and I don't know what to do. Let them crumble and give myself over to him? Or take a step back and reinforce them somehow?
Business arrangement? Or genuine feeling? Those questions – and the emotions that come with them – continue to swirl in my head leaving me feeling dizzy.
“Are you okay?” he asks.