They were in the pack where I’d left them, sitting on the floor of the room Ryan had occupied in my absence. The bed was unmade, the blankets tossed about, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl onto it and sleep away the hours. I was exhausted, but Randall was waiting, and I knew I couldn’t avoid whatever was coming. I had a pretty good idea what the conversation was going to be about, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.
I changed out of the robes and washed up before throwing on a pair of trousers that hung loose at the waist. They were Ryan’s, but they made me feel better. I slung the pack over my shoulder and walked barefoot down the hall to where Randall sat in front of the fireplace, the flames crackling. A chair obviously meant for me sat opposite him. I felt like I was a kid again, and I was in trouble with my parents.
“Have a seat,” he said without looking away from the fire.
I glanced longingly at the door but did as he asked. I set the pack at my feet and kept my mouth shut, refusing to speak first, even though I had so many questions.
He didn’t wait long. “I’m surprised.”
“About?”
“That you didn’t tell Gary I had his horn.”
Oh shit. “I forgot.”
“Did you.”
“A lot happened. But….”
“But?”
“Shouldn’t he have been able to sense it? I would have thought he’d know immediately. I felt it at Castle Lockes.” I frowned. “And apparently so did Myrin. That’s what he meant, right? Pure. Bright.”
Randall nodded. “An unfortunate mistake. And yes, Gary would know. Except the magic is… muffled at the moment.”
“What? Muffled. How is it… that wiry mesh you had on it.” I remembered how he’d covered the horn in his pack. “What is it?”
He sighed. “Just one of many, many things that can contain magic. It’s old. A shroud made by a long-extinct race of creatures that walked the earth before man. It was how Gary’s horn could have stayed hidden for so long.”
“Who had it? And where?”
“Does it matter?”
I was annoyed at that. It felt like he was playing a game. “Of course it does. It didn’t belong to them.”
“And what would you have done had you found it instead of me?”
“I would have taken it back.”
“As I have done. What else?”
I scowled at him. “What are you asking?”
He looked relaxed, fingers steepled in front of him as if he had all the time in the world. “Simply what I asked. If you came upon the person who had in their possession Gary’s horn, what would you have done?”
“I would have asked for it back.”
“And if they refused?”
“I would have taken it.”
“By force.”
“If necessary.”
“And if they fought you for it, what then?”
“I would have stopped them.”
“How?”
“By any means necessary.”
“Why?”
“Because they had something that didn’t belong to them. Look. I get what you’re doing.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. You knew me as Sam of Wilds. Who I was. You’re trying to see who I am now as Sam of Dragons. What kind of wizard I’ve become. What I’m willing to do for those I love.”
“And what are you willing to do for those you love?”
I looked him in the eye. “Everything.”
He nodded slowly as if he’d been expecting that answer. “Sam of Dragons.”
I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, it wasn’t my choice. GW kind of forced it upon me.”
“GW? Who—ah. I see. It’s fitting, I think.”
“You only like it because it used to be yours.”
He smiled a little at that. “Why, I would never.”
“Lie.”
“Maybe a little. It’s like you were named after me.”
“Ugh,” I groaned. “I wanted to be Sam the Awesomely Amazing or Sam the Best Wizard Ever, but GW said they were stupid and that I would be Sam of Dragons, or he would eat me.”
“Did he now.”
“Yes. He’s an asshole. He kind of reminds me of you. No wonder he was your mentor.”
“Also yours.”
“Godsdammit.”
“It was in a country to the north,” he said. “Outside of the borders of Verania. Beyond the mountains and into the land of the giants.”
Despite the gravity of the situation, despite my tiredness, I felt that old prickle of excitement course through me. “You went to the giants? Oh my gods, tell me everything. How big are they? Do they eat human flesh? Are they brutish or civilized?”
“Maybe one day you’ll find out.”
I glared at him. “Dude, not cool. You can’t just say you went to the giants and then not tell me anything about them. That’s rude.”
“Does it matter in the long run?”
“Well… no. But still. Wait. They had Gary’s horn?”
He shook his head. “No. But they pointed the way.”
“Gods,” I whispered. “What matter of villain was able to abscond from Verania with Gary’s horn? I mean, to think of how evil they must have been, how dastardly and nefarious—”
“They were nuns.”
“—and capable of ripping the flesh from the bones of puppies and stuffing it down their gullets to—what.”
“Nuns,” he repeated.
I waited for the punch line.
There didn’t seem to be one.
“Nuns.”
He nodded.
“Are you… being serious?”
“Very. A group of traveling nuns had somehow stumbled upon Gary’s horn and thought it to be a tool from the gods. They kept it covered in the shroud except for moments when it was uncovered and worshipped.”
“Oh no,” I moaned, putting my face in my hands. “We can’t tell him that. I already have one magical creature with a god complex. I don’t need another. No. Absolutely not. In fact, you tell him you found it in a cave and that it was unguarded and that it was super easy to get, and that will be that.”
“What about the part where, aside from worship, the nuns used it as a weapon while they toured the countryside, robbing everyone in sight?”
I peeked through my fingers. “Say what.”
“Apparently these nuns weren’t exactly the pious sort, and funded their travels by committing armed robbery.”
I sighed. “Because of course. You can never tell him. My gods, do you know what that’d do to his ego?”
“He’d become insufferable, I’m sure. Even more so than he already is.”
“Yeah, he’s wonderful like that.” I dropped my hands back into my lap and slumped into the chair. “How’d you get the horn back?”
He shrugged. “I dressed as a nun, infiltrated their ranks, gained their trust over a period of four months, and then, once I was appointed as one of the Guardians of the Horn, I stole it from them.” He frowned. “That didn’t go quite as I had planned. As it turns out, a nun named Marsha, who I had developed a close friendship with, discovered my betrayal and attempted to stab me with a pitchfork while alerting the other sisters. I learned rather quickly that hell hath no fury like a thieving nun scorned. They pursued me for quite some time, though I was eventually able to give them the slip when I entered the land of the giants again. As it turns out, the giants consider nuns to be their most dangerous of enemies, and an all-out brawl ensued, which provided me with an opportunity to slip back into Verania.”
I gaped at him.
He smiled at me, his liver lips stretched thin.
“Sweet molasses,” I said faintly. “I don’t know what to do with any of that.”
“Nor would I expect you to.”
“Why didn’t you just get sucked through your magic hole?”
He shrugged. “Now, where would the fun in that be? Just because I can do certain types of magic doesn’t always mean I will. Magic can’t be the answer to everything, Sam.”
“You’re telling me that you’ve been gone all this time because you were undercover? With nuns?”
“Not the whole time,” he said. “Just most of the time.”
“You can never call me out for my shit again. Ever. What the hell, Randall.”
“I highly doubt that’s going to happen. You do stupid things that need to be pointed out.”
“Pot. Kettle.”
“Well, I suppose that makes sense. You are named after me now, after all.”
“Nope. Nope, nope, nope. That’s it. From this day forward, I am now Sam the Awesomely Amazing, and no one can say otherwise. You are appalling, and I absolutely refuse to be named after you, oh my gods. And if you ever call me your child again, I’m going to turn your fucking tongue into a dick, and you will choke on it.”