The little girl burst into tears and ran in the opposite direction.
“Don’t do drugs!” I called after her. Ryan was laughing hysterically beside me, hunched over, arms wrapped around himself. It pissed me off, but it also made my heart thump a bit in my chest that, after all the crap we’d been through, he could still laugh so freely and openly. It really was beautiful to see and hear. I also wanted to fuck him stupid right about now.
“Oh,” he said, still chuckling. “You’ve got that look on your face.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said as I drooled a little bit. I wiped my mouth, feeling absolutely no shame. “So, come here often?”
He rolled his eyes. “Not really.”
“Would you like to?” I waggled my eyebrows at him.
His smile softened. “You’re ridiculous.”
“It is part of my charm,” I agreed. “Now, what say you and I get out of here and maybe I’ll fuck your orifices a little bit.”
“With an offer like that, I don’t know how I can refuse.”
“You seemed like a sure bet,” I said, leaning in to kiss him. My skin felt hot, and I wanted to grab hold of him and never let go.
“Smooth talker,” he said, and I could feel his breath on my face.
“I’m gonna do so many things to you in like three minutes,” I growled and closed the distance to— “Sorry to interrupt.”
I groaned as I missed Ryan’s lips and ended up sucking on his nose a little bit. Not the smoothest I’d ever been, but it was all Ruv’s fault for even coming over to us when we were obviously about to bone.
Ryan grimaced as he pushed me off him, wiping his face. “That was unpleasant.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” I said, looking up to glare at Ruv. He stood a little distance away, hands clasped behind him, looking amused. “Someone doesn’t know what it means when I’m giving off my I’m about to get laid vibes. Not cool, dude. You fucking cock blocker.”
“My apologies,” he said, though he didn’t sound sorry at all. “I was hoping to have a word with you before you became… otherwise engaged.”
“That means the sex,” I whispered to Ryan.
“I know what it means,” he said, shoving my face away. “You dork.”
“Just making sure. Sometimes, things get lost in translation.”
“You’re not translating anything.”
I shrugged. “Same difference. Wait, what were we talking about now? Because my erection is getting really uncomfortable.”
“I did that,” Ryan said to Ruv, sounding smug.
“Congratulations,” Ruv said slowly. “You must be so proud. A word, Sam. If you don’t mind.” He glanced at Ryan, then looked back at me. “Alone.”
“Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Ryan,” I said. “I’ll just tell him later anyway.”
“Yes, I suppose you will. But I’d prefer not to get stabbed.”
“Stabbed? What the hell are you—Ryan, put your sword away.”
“What? I’m just holding it.”
“And posing.”
“It’s not posing. It’s the proper at-the-ready position.”
“You just flipped your hair.”
“It was in my eye.”
“You just flourished your sword.”
“It was slipping from my grasp due to the desert heat, and I wanted to make sure I had a good grip on it.”
“You’re flexing.”
“I am? Oh, I didn’t even notice. But thank you for pointing that out. I do look rather vascular today, don’t you think?”
He really, really did. “You’re not going to even be able to walk by the time I’m done with you. I’m going to fuck you so full of my—little girl, why do you always come at the worst possible times?”
She burst into tears again and ran away, dropping a garland of flowers.
I almost felt bad but then realized that little girls have the worst timing ever, so I couldn’t be blamed. Plus, I figured it was probably better she learned now that boys were gross rather than later. When she got older, I bet she’d think twice before she did something untoward. I had done my duty in protecting the children of Verania.
“You’re not going to go away, are you?” I said to Ruv, resigned.
“If you’re leaving tomorrow, it’s best if we talk now,” he said.
“Babe, can you give us a minute?”
“I’m not going to stab him!”
“Babe.”
“Okay, maybe just a little.”
“You can’t stab someone just a little bit.”
“Watch me,” he said, teeth bared.
“Just… give us a minute.”
He groaned. “Fine.” He sheathed his sword and shot a glare in my direction before he turned back to Ruv. He took a couple of steps until he was standing right in front of him, only inches separating them. My lizard brain screamed at them to just kiss, but then I realized my dirty little lizard brain was an asshole, and that I’d probably end up punching Ruv in the kidney, so I kept my mouth shut.
Ryan was intimidating as all fuck. He was a big guy, with muscles and scruff and the ability to have a wicked snarl on his face that usually scared the shit out of most people.
The problem was Ruv wasn’t most people. In fact, he looked bemused at the posturing before him, like he was dealing with an irate puppy. Ruv obviously wasn’t as smart as I’d given him credit for. Or maybe Ryan wasn’t as daunting as I thought he was. Since one of those things threatened to change my view of the world, I decided that Ruv just had a death wish.
“I’ve got my eye on you,” Ryan said in a low voice. “You even look at Sam in a way that makes him uncomfortable and I’ll come back here and shove my sword through your dick until you’re shitting it out.”
“So violent,” I whispered reverently. “I mean, it ignores how the gastrointestinal system works, but wow. Also, watch your fucking mouth. There are children present.”
“I give you my word that nothing untoward will happen to Sam,” Ruv said, voice even.
“Darn right, mothercracker,” Ryan said. “Ryan doesn’t want to have to come back and cut a bro.”
“Aaaand that’s enough,” I said, stepping forward and pushing Ryan out of the way. “When you start sounding like Gary, you lose all credibility. Get outta here, you meathead.”
Ryan hooked a hand around my neck and pulled me close, laying a filthy kiss upon my lips, more tongue and teeth than finesse. But it turned out that I’m totally on board with tongue and teeth and gave back just as good as I got. By the time he’d pulled away, my face felt scrubbed raw by the week-old stubble on his face, my lips tingling and warm. He looked smug as he backed away slowly, glancing at Ruv. He brought his hands up, palms toward the sky, and said, “Ryan out.” He whirled around and headed toward Kevin, who was demanding even more gold than he’d already been given.
“Stop getting advice from Gary!” I shouted after him, a little dazed. “You stupid, sexy asshole.”