“Yes, but not like that. We just slept in the same bed, that’s all.”
“Ugh, so there were clothes on and stuff?”
“Well, yes.”
“That’s disappointing,” she says with exaggerated distress. “But at least it’s progress.”
“Goodness, I’m so sorry you’re so sad about this.”
“Did you just say ‘goodness’?”
“Apparently. I don’t know why.”
“How quaint of you. Perhaps I shall start exclaiming ‘Goodness!’ from now on. It has an old-fashioned ring to it. There’s no reason to get a bee in your bonnet, missy! Egad and fiddlesticks and dang it all! God save the queen!”
“God save the queen? Really? How does that fit in here?”
“I think it’s a nice substitution for swearing. I’m going to start using it, like, all the time, so get ready.”
“Stop it, or you’re going to make me laugh too loudly and wake erotic Esben!”
“Well, it is morning, so then we’d have to call him erec—”
“Enough!” It is very hard to suppress my laughter, so she has got to knock this off. “Listen, we have to make plans for Christmas. Simon asked what dates you want to fly in and out.” Ever since I’ve lived with Simon, he’s made sure that I get to see Steffi over the holidays. Even when she was with Joan and Cal, the couple who basically kicked her out when she turned eighteen, Simon drove me the hour it took to reach her on Christmas Day. For the past few years, he’s flown her into Boston for two weeks, and she’s spent Christmas and New Year’s with us.
“Oh. Listen . . . about that,” she says more seriously now.
“What? What do you mean ‘about that’? I don’t like the sound of this.”
“Okay, please don’t get mad, but . . . I’m going on a cruise!” she says excitedly.
“You’re going on a what? What are you talking about?”
“A bunch of the people I hang out with here are doing a three-week cruise, and one of the girls had to drop out. She’s selling me her spot for dirt cheap, and I can’t pass it up. I’m heading to Hawaii! And . . . and . . . other places! I don’t even know the itinerary, but it’s a cruise! To top things off, I have a major crush on one of the guys who’s going. His body is enough to make me burst into flames.”
This is not making any sense whatsoever. “So you’re not coming to Boston at all? Oh.”
“Don’t be sad. You hate Christmas anyway, and if you saw this guy, you’d probably dump Esben and go on a cruise with him, too.”
“If you say so.”
She pauses. “There will be other trips.”
“Spring break, maybe?”
“Sure! And definitely this summer, okay?”
“Okay. This trip does sound like it could be really fun, but you have to promise to send me a million pictures. Especially of this hot guy.”
“Deal!”
I’m happy for her, really, but I can’t help being a little bummed out that we won’t be together over the holidays. “I’ll have Simon mail your presents to you.”
“No, no. He really doesn’t need to get me anything.”
“Of course he does. He loves spoiling you.”
“Seriously, it’s not necessary.”
I laugh. “If you think for two seconds that Simon will not be shipping out large boxes to you, then you are forgetting who he is.”
“Ha! Well, that’s true.”
“I’ll miss you,” I say. “But raid the buffets for me.”
“And I will miss you terribly while I’m pigging out at the dessert bar. Now, tell me how things are going with Esben.”
I lie back on the bed and smile. “Good, Steffi. Really, really good.”
“Yeah? Tell me everything. We haven’t talked in a week, so I want all the dirt.”
I gush for twenty minutes until her yawning tells me that she’s finally exhausted enough to sleep. “I think you should get to bed, sweets. You sound totally wiped.”
“Okay. But, Allison? I’m so happy for you. You deserve a great guy like Esben, and, goodness, he’s just as lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, Steffi.” I can’t help sighing contentedly. “I miss you so much, even with your new, idiotic expression, and I miss seeing you every day, so we at least need to talk more, okay? It used to be every day, and now it’s once a week or so.”
“Okay, we’ll work on it. We’ve both got a ton going on, but that doesn’t mean we’re not as close as ever.”
“I know. It’s just . . . I’ve never had . . . I’ve never had an Esben before. I just want to make sure that you know I’m still here for you.”
“Always. You are my bestie,” she says. “I don’t forget that for a second.”
After we hang up, I finally pour my cup of coffee and peek in on Esben. God, asleep he looks even more like a damn angel.
I check the time and then call Simon.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he answers, all chipper. “You enjoying the coffee I got you?”
I slurp loudly into the phone. “Right now, in fact.”
“So I hear. Excellent! What’s going on?”
I explain about Steffi’s cruise.
“I see. Well, Steffi has always been one to seize the day, so let’s be happy for her that she’s taking this wild adventure. I know it will be strange not to have her with us, but we’ll make do.”
I clear my throat. “I was thinking that this year, we could . . . you know . . . do more Christmas stuff.”
He pauses, and I know he’s trying not to sound too excited. “Really?”
“Yeah. Like, we should get a tree and hang stockings.”
“Lights? Wreaths? Extra presents? Ninety kinds of garish cookies?”
The idea makes me anxious, but it’s time for me to get over my holiday phobia. I am not a kid without security anymore. I am not. “I think it would be nice.”
“I think it would be nice, too.”
I’m quite sure that Simon is jumping up and down right now, but I appreciate his effort to remain calm in the face of this exciting news.
“And how is young Esben?” he asks.
“He’s good.” Then I stop for a second. “But he just had a tough night. He’s a little sad.” I run a finger over the rim of my coffee cup.
“I’m sure he’s glad to have you for support.”
“I hope so. I think so . . . I’m not used to seeing him unhappy.” I fidget with the sash on my robe. “I care about him so much.”
“I know you do, and, from what you tell me, it’s obvious he cares about you just as much. Allison, it’s all right to be sad sometimes. Even though he’s generally upbeat, he can still have low points, too. It means he’s human.”
“You’re right.” I drop the sash. “Thank you.”
“Tell him that I said nice job on that last video. The one with the sketch pads.”
Esben spent the day after Thanksgiving in downtown Boston, fighting Black Friday crowds, handing people sketch pads and asking them to write or draw whatever makes them happy. The video compilation of people holding up words and pictures is yet another beautiful piece of his, complete with music, lots of smiles, and a few tears. Surprisingly, few people responded by drawing anything material, despite being in the midst of all that shopping chaos and greed.