“You have plenty of girlfriends,” she quips back.
I’ve only mentioned Dom once or twice in passing, but I've quickly learned that Indy remembers almost everything I say, the same way I do with her.
“No, I mean a real girlfriend.”
A fit of laughter breaks out from the team because well…Dom is not a one-woman kind of guy.
“Fuck you guys. I can change. Shay changed.” He motions towards me. “Look at that love-sick motherfucker. Now he has an absolute smoke show living in his house. I want an Indy walking around my house.”
“Watch it,” I bite out. “The girl’s got her MBA and she’s funny as hell.”
Indy’s cheeks flush, embarrassment washing over her from being praised for her mind and not just the way she looks.
Dom holds up his bite of food with a mischievous smile. “And she’s an amazing cook.”
“Damn right I am,” she agrees.
“My house is much bigger than Shay’s. You’re more than welcome.”
Fucking shit-disturber.
“She’s not going anywhere.” I say the words to Dom, but keep my eyes on Indy as they come out.
She won’t look at me.
It’s too right, having her here. This is where she belongs, with me, in this apartment. And if she thinks for a second she’s moving out, she’s out of her goddamn mind.
28
INDY
Indy
Daily update—I need to get away from the apartment. Can I spend the night at your house?
Stevie
Is everything okay?
No.
See you soon.
I packed my bag while Ryan was at practice and had planned to be gone by the time he got home. But once Annie called to tell me Ryan canceled team dinner, I knew I couldn’t leave yet.
I probably should’ve gone further than Zanders and Stevie’s penthouse if I’m really trying to get away, but I don’t know that I am. I don’t know what I’m doing. All I know is that apartment is filled with him, and it’s suffocating.
How much I want him is suffocating.
How much I care about him is suffocating.
How much love I have for that man after only a few short months is suffocating.
Call me dramatic, but last night’s realizations messed me up. Ryan has lived through a pregnancy with a woman he thought he loved, anticipating their future and family. He spent nine months loving a child that wasn’t his. How do you come back from that? It’s no wonder he’s guarded and untrusting.
It was excruciating for me, as only a bystander, to hear how someone tried to use Ryan in the most hurtful of ways, how he thinks everyone around him has tried to take advantage.
I very clearly heard the way he didn’t exclude me from that statement, and I refuse to miss the blaring neon signs once again. I refuse to stay in a space that isn’t meant for me, just like I stayed in a relationship that was no longer my future.
The last thing I want is to be compared to the woman before me. I care about Ryan far too much to let him believe that, so I’ll prove it. I’ll move out. That way, he couldn’t possibly continue to believe I was using him.
As soon as Ryan was distracted and all but Ethan and Dom had left the apartment, I left too. But as I haul my duffel bag into the guest bedroom, and before I’ve even changed into my pajamas, I hear his voice from down the hall.
“Happen to see a mouthy blonde tonight? Mile-long legs and a banging brain?” Ryan asks his sister and Zanders.
I can hear the smile in Zanders’ tone as he talks to his fiancée. “I love this for us, Vee. Watching your brother squirm like a love-sick puppy. Mushy motherfucker.”
“Fuck you very much.”
Stevie laughs from where she sits on the couch with Zanders and their dog, Rosie. “She’s in the guest room. She’ll be out in a minute, I’m sure.”
I knew he’d come here or at the very least, call, but he was quicker than I expected.
I’ve only just pulled out my toothbrush to get ready for my night, so with it in hand, I sheepishly make my way down the hall.
Ryan doesn’t seem upset, only slightly unimpressed. Leaning a shoulder against the corner wall of the living room, he keeps his hands in his pockets and one foot crossed over the other, casually unaffected.
“There’s the runaway.”
“Hi.”
Eyes soften. “Hi, Blue.”
Zanders squeals from the couch like a teenager.
“I was giving you some space,” I explain before I’m asked.
“Why would I want space, and from you of all people?”
“Last night—”
“Last night, you didn’t let me finish what I was trying to say.”
He pops off the wall, quickly swallowing the distance between us and meeting me across the room. He crowds me with his beautiful body, stepping into my space as I retreat at the same pace.
His hooded eyes look down at me, bottom lip sliding between his teeth. “Can we finish our conversation now?”
I swallow, audibly, and with a simple nod.
“No one has ever come into my life without just looking for what they can gain from me,” he repeats his words from last night, as if I could forget them. “Until you.”
Backing up, my shoulders hit the wall where Ryan brackets his hands above my head, caging me in, and ensuring I hear his words.
“Until you walked your colorful, messy, and extremely tempting ass into my apartment. I’ve never once felt taken advantage of by you. In fact, if you remember, I was the one who didn’t want you paying rent. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t need to save money anymore, you’re not leaving.”
“That sounds very kidnap-y of you.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
Looking down, I find the bright pink toothbrush still in my hand. My romantic brain played this out a lot differently. Maybe this confession would come in the middle of a rainstorm or announced publicly in front of millions of people. Not while I’m holding my toothbrush in the middle of my best friend’s apartment.
“We have an audience,” I whisper, nodding towards the couple of eavesdroppers on the couch.
“Good. They can watch for all I care.” Ryan gently takes my toothbrush and sets it on a nearby table before draping my arms over his shoulders. “After what they put me through last year? This is the very least they deserve.”
A quick bubble of a laugh escapes me.
The sound causes a beautifully soft smile to tug at the corner of his lip, concaving his dimples. “So, are we done with the whole bullshit conversation about you moving out?”
Ocean eyes drop to my mouth.
“But I spend a lot of your money.”
“Someone needs to.”
“And I’m messy. You don’t like messy.”
“I like your mess.”
“And I’m needy. I have no idea how to be alone.”
“Good. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to be with me.”
His eyes fall to my throat, watching it work its way through a swallow.
“Come home with me, Blue.”
Apparently, half a second is too long to hesitate because Ryan continues. “And let me make this perfectly clear, even if you say no, I will throw you over my shoulder and take you with me. But I’m working with a knee injury here and would rather you come on your own free will.”