She was right.
Mom was severely depressed, Nilda said. She needed help. Medical care. A break. The kids would live with Nilda in Brooklyn while Mom got better. For how long? Madison asked. Well, they’d have to wait and see.
She remembered sitting with Danny on the Greyhound bus, distraught at leaving her home, her friends, her mother. Taking it out on him. This is all your fault. He looked so devastated that she gave him the chocolate bar she’d bought with her last money. That first night, he trashed their room in Aunt Nilda’s condo, and Uncle Hector came in with the belt. It was a bad start. Hector was Nilda’s fiancé, a beat cop who believed that discipline kept kids off the street. That approach didn’t work on Danny. He needed love.
Madison thrived at Nilda’s from the start. She liked sitting down to dinner every night, saying grace and please and thank you. But Danny just squirmed and refused to make eye contact. Nilda took them to museums, concerts. Danny was so bored that he fought going, and eventually Nilda left him alone. Her apartment was tastefully decorated, with rugs, plants, books on the shelves. Madison loved it. Danny couldn’t stand the level of neatness required. Granted, she was a thirteen-year-old girl, and he was a ten-year-old boy. But it was also just a bad fit. She loved structure. He hated rules. He fell in with the troublemakers at school and was in the principal’s office constantly, just like back home. Nilda wanted to put them in Catholic school to get Danny away from the bad influences, but Hector objected to the expense. It’s my money. You don’t decide, she said, which started an argument that never seemed to end.
The more Hector and Nilda fought over Danny, the more Madison threw herself into school. She’d been placed in the gifted class. She became the extra-credit queen, volunteering for every club, making friends with the smart kids. They weren’t just a bunch of wallflowers, either, but artsy, verbal, political, unusually mature for eighth graders. New York did that—gave you an edge, made you grow up fast. Hanging out with them, Madison got interested in her Puerto Rican heritage for the first time. She perfected her Spanish slang, read the news, read history. Six months in, she was happy in New York, when Danny got caught smoking weed in the park. He was only eleven but tall for his age and hanging out with older kids. Hector went in to talk to him, and somehow, it turned into a blowout. Hector gave Danny a black eye, which was not okay. Nilda kicked Hector out, but it was too late to salvage the situation. Mom insisted they come back to Boston. That was too soon. She wasn’t back on her feet, which meant Danny couldn’t get on his.
The more things changed … Her brother had seemed so much better lately, until the arrest exploded their lives. That scene in the visiting room today, when he was led away in cuffs. She couldn’t get his face out of her mind. The fear in his eyes.
She was afraid he’d die there.
Class ended. Chloe was closing up her laptop. Her screensaver was a selfie with the Supreme Court justice who’d been her dad’s best friend in law school. Tell me you’re a legacy admit without telling me you’re a legacy admit. She wrapped a voluminous cashmere scarf around her neck and fluffed her perfectly highlighted blond hair. The girl had game, Madison had to admit, as much as she envied Chloe’s head start in life.
“See you at the party tonight?” Chloe said.
She felt suddenly exhausted from pretending that nothing was wrong. She wasn’t sure she could keep up the charade through an entire birthday party.
“I may not be able to make it.”
The spark of triumph in Chloe’s eyes annoyed her. Things were just too easy for that girl; and on top of it, she gets the guy? A guy whom Madison admittedly let go, but even so.
“Though I did promise Ty. So on second thought, yes—I’ll be there.”
And she flashed Chloe a smile.
* * *
Around seven thirty, Madison pushed her way into the pizza place in Harvard Square that was a big law-student hangout. It was shoulder to shoulder at the bar, every table full, and loud. She took a deep breath, inhaling brick oven and beer, and put on her game face. Ty was visible, head and shoulders above the crowd, surrounded by people. So handsome, smooth operator, golden boy. Some people still refused to believe that she was the one who broke up with him. Misogyny at work, since the two of them were obvious equals.
As she made her way over, Chloe’s blond head popped into view at his right. Her eyes grew wary as Ty leaned down to shout into Madison’s ear.
“We’re waiting for a table to open up. Can I get you a drink?”
She was tempted to let him, but why antagonize Chloe? Things were tenuous enough at the moment that she shouldn’t go making enemies.
“I’ll get it myself. You want anything?”
He shook his head. Madison fought her way to the bar. She was motioning for the bartender’s attention when a guy from Trial Advocacy class tapped her on the shoulder. They were shooting the breeze a few minutes later when Ty turned up beside her, his perfect smile lighting up the bar.
“What? You don’t have a drink yet?”
“Ah, I decided not to. It’s a school night.”
“But it’s my birthday.”
“I’ll catch you later,” the other guy said, glancing at Ty as he slunk away.
Ty had a funny habit of coming between her and anybody she showed interest in. If it wasn’t his birthday, she’d have called him on it. He ordered her a Manhattan, and one for himself. An obvious play—that had been their celebration drink when they were together. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. But his next sentence wiped their relationship issues from her mind.
“I hear you’re applying to the internship in Judge Conroy’s chambers. That true?”
“Who told you that?”
“Remember Sean Chen? Buddy of mine, graduated last year? He’s clerking for her this year.”
“Sean is Judge Conroy’s law clerk?”
“That’s right.”
“And he told you I applied for the internship? Why is that any of your business?”
“He thought we were still going out.”
“Even if we were, he shouldn’t be blabbing like that.”
“He was just making conversation. You know this place is a fishbowl. Nobody can keep a secret.”
“Why do you care if I apply? Unless you want the job for yourself?”
She’d felt so flattered when Judge Conroy invited her to apply. Well, maybe she wasn’t the only one the judge asked. Ty would be formidable competition.
“I’m not applying. I hear it’s a rough place to work, so I decided against it. I’m simply passing along that information. There’s a cloud around Conroy. I thought you should know, so you could reconsider if it’s a good use of your time.”
She looked at him in surprise, remembering that Danny claimed Judge Conroy was in on fixing his case. She didn’t believe that for a minute. Then again, it had been burned into her mind from way back that Danny was unreliable, and Kathryn Conroy walked on water. Conroy was one of the most noted alums of Madison’s prestigious Catholic high school. Years after she left, the nuns sang her praises. Conroy was why Madison first got interested in becoming a lawyer. She couldn’t be corrupt. No way.
But then, what was Ty talking about?
“What kind of cloud?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. I’ve just heard rumblings.”
“Rumblings. Seriously? If you know something, spill it, or else don’t badmouth people.”
“I’m just worried you’re overly impressed with her. You hang on her words in class like she’s this fountain of wisdom.”