“You’re wrong. It makes it really complicated.”
She couldn’t just walk up to Professor—Judge—Conroy and start questioning her about a pending case, involving a family member, no less. It would be so inappropriate that the judge wouldn’t only refuse to talk to her. She’d throw Madison’s internship application in the trash. That would accomplish zero for her brother while screwing up her chance at something she really wanted for herself. But try explaining that to Mom, who knew nothing about the legal system and even less about getting ahead in this world. She’d just assume Madison was being selfish. Which, okay, maybe there was an element of that. The situation was just impossible.
“Why complicated? Tell your teacher Danny is innocent. She’ll listen to you. You’re her student. She knows you.”
“She’ll think I’m trying to sway her judgment in a case.”
“People help their families. Everybody does it. She’ll understand.”
“Not in this situation. Not with a judge, not when she’s my teacher, not when the charge is drugs.”
“Oh, I see what’s going on. You think your brother is guilty. That he’s lying. You’re ashamed.”
“What I think doesn’t matter. Judges rule based on evidence. Danny said it himself. He went to a known drug spot to meet with a dealer, and his fingerprints are on that bag. I can’t change that. The judge won’t ignore it just because she knows me from class.”
“Madison, he’s your brother. You have to help him.”
“I want to. It breaks my heart seeing him in jail. But try to understand. Judge Conroy is not my friend. She’s a professor up at the front of a big classroom. She hardly knows me, and she wouldn’t take it lightly if I tried to influence her.”
That was basically true. Yesterday was her longest conversation to date with Judge Conroy. Mom expected her to work miracles, but Madison had no pull. The fact that the judge liked her answers in class, or invited her to apply for an internship, meant nothing in terms of how she’d handle Danny’s case. And once Conroy learned that Madison’s brother was charged with heroin trafficking in her own courtroom, her feelings about Madison would surely change. It probably wouldn’t affect her grade in the class. But she’d be a lot less likely to hire Madison as an intern. Come to think of it, was it even worth going through with the interview? Maybe she should withdraw her application. Or tell the judge about Danny herself, so it didn’t look like she was hiding something. But what if she got dinged because of Danny? Ugh, it felt so unfair. She wanted that internship.
At a minimum, she had to make her mother understand that she absolutely could not, and would not, under any circumstances, try to influence Judge Conroy’s ruling on Danny’s case.
“Well?” her mother said.
Mom would never understand. She had to fall back on her promise not to say anything.
“I promised him I wouldn’t say anything. He’s afraid of retaliation. I won’t second-guess him. It’s too dangerous.”
“So you’re just going back to your life like this is not your problem?”
She turned on her mother with the anger of a lot of years.
“I’ve been dealing with Danny’s problems since I was a kid. I did more than my fair share of taking care of him, and you know it.”
Tears glittered in Mom’s eyes. “After Dad died, I wasn’t myself. I had to send you kids away. Danny suffered, more than any of us.”
“I suffered, too. But that doesn’t seem to count for you.”
“You’re the strong one. That’s why we rely on you. You can do things that your brother and I can’t. I’m asking for your help here, love. Please.”
“I want to help. But you need to understand, I can’t just walk up to a federal judge and talk to her about a case. Judges aren’t allowed to discuss those things outside of court. If someone approaches them, it’s like they’re trying to influence the judge. It would be seen as improper. I could get in trouble. Is that what you want?”
“No,” her mother said. “Of course not.”
She sighed, looking out the window. Silence fell. Her mother wiped away tears. The sound of her sniffling tugged at Madison’s heart.
“There are some things I can do,” she said after a moment. “Get information. Do research. Come up with a plan. Danny doesn’t seem to have the most basic documents from his case, like the plea agreement. I’ll get the documents and try to figure out the next step. Get him a better lawyer. Appeal. I don’t know, but there have to be options, things we can do without trying to influence the judge.”
“Yes. More information. And a plan. That would help.”
They exited the highway. Not long after, her mother pulled up to the gates of Harvard Yard, turning on the blinkers.
“Jump out. There’s no stopping here, and I have to get to work,” she said, her jaw tight.
“Are you mad at me? You look mad.”
“I’m angry at the situation, Madison, not at you. I know you’ll do everything in your power to help your brother. Right?”
Madison’s chest tightened, but she nodded.
“Yes. Talk soon, okay?”
She blew a kiss goodbye and hopped out into damp, diesel-scented air. Passing through the gates of Harvard Yard was like entering a secret garden. The rain had stopped. The paths were carpeted with wet leaves that gave off a smoky smell. Madison inhaled the fragrance, breathing deep, consciously putting space between herself and her family troubles. All she wanted was to be just another student heading to class with her Starbucks and her backpack. No secrets, nothing to be ashamed of. No worries but studying and law review. The same as anybody else.
But she wasn’t.
Securities Reg had already started. The prof glanced up as Madison slunk in the door at the top of the classroom. Eyes on her feet, she hurried down the tiered rows to her assigned seat. The room was classic Harvard Law—beamed ceilings, ornate light fixtures, the smell of dust and history. She whispered apologies to the students on either side as she set up her laptop. Chloe, Ty’s girlfriend, sat to her right, a fluke of the seating chart. Not enemies by any means, they weren’t friends, either. Chloe graciously angled her computer so Madison could read her notes. The topic was insider trading, something Madison would normally find fascinating. Apparently, her famous powers of concentration could be shaken after all, though it took something as awful as seeing her little brother locked up in prison. She caught only snippets of the lecture, typing random phrases into her notes without comprehending their meaning, as her mind wandered, visions of Danny dancing before her eyes.
Danny in the playground at ten years old, bleeding from a cut lip after a fight. The other kid, bleeding worse. Danny outside the principal’s office, suspended again. Madison getting called out of class to take him home when they couldn’t reach Mom. I know your father passed, the principal said, talking to her like she was Danny’s mother, though she was only thirteen. But this can’t continue. I have other students to think of. Getting home, finding Mom dead asleep on the couch, dirty dishes piled in the sink, a stack of bills on the table. Shaking her mother awake. You didn’t go to work? She was just so tired, she said, pulling a blanket over her head.
That was the night Madison gave in and called Aunt Nilda. Not only because Danny kept acting out. They’d had nothing but peanut-butter sandwiches to eat for a week, and the utility bill said “Final Notice.” Nilda was Mom’s younger sister. No kids of her own, a high-paying job as a nurse in a big hospital, a two-bedroom condo in Brooklyn that she owned. She adored her niece and nephew, which was why Madison hesitated to call. Nilda would step in and take charge. Madison was afraid things would change, when they’d changed enough already.