She was enjoying the inn, and her evening in the kitchen had been the happiest few hours as a chef she’d had for a long time.
“You’re smiling,” Anna said. “Did you meet someone?”
“What? No! Why would me smiling mean I’d met someone? I smile all the time.”
“Not like this—” Anna waved her fork. “It’s a goofy smile. An ‘I just fell in love’ smile.”
“That has nothing to do with a man. I had fun last night, that’s all. And I learned that I do still love cooking.” She waited for Erica to say I told you so, but her friend was gazing out the window. “Not only cooking. I discovered that I love being a chef if the circumstances are right. And it’s a relief, because I’d lost that joy and I thought it had gone forever. It’s like discovering you love your husband after all and no longer want to divorce him.”
“I have no idea how that feels because I have never wanted to divorce Pete, but I’m pleased.”
Claudia was pleased, too. “It changes things. I was facing a future of not knowing what I wanted to do, but now I know. I still want to be a chef, but not just anywhere. The atmosphere is important to me. I need to make sure I don’t panic and take the first job I’m offered. I need to give myself time to make sure the culture is a fit.”
Anna reached across and gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s good to see you happy.” She went back to her pancakes. “What is Hattie going to do about staffing the kitchen tonight?”
“I don’t know. We’re meeting after breakfast to talk through how she can simplify the menu and maybe manage with the team she has.” She wanted to volunteer her services, but she wasn’t in a position to do that.
She glanced at Erica again. Would she change her mind about leaving?
Hattie seemed pretty great. And okay, the initial situation and meeting had been awkward, but they’d already bumped their way over that so why was Erica so determined to walk away from it?
Erica hadn’t spoken since they’d sat down at the breakfast table. Nor had she touched her food. All she’d done was sip black coffee and gaze out the window. Not that gazing out the window was a bad occupation. The snow had continued to fall during the night and they’d woken to blue skies and a deep layer of fresh snow. Bright sunshine dazzled, adding sparkle to the jewel-encrusted surface. Trees were coated, their branches bowing under the weight of fresh snow. The view added to the festive atmosphere of the inn.
“What did you two do while I was sweating away over a hot stove?” Claudia finished her pancakes, making a mental note to congratulate the chef later.
“I spent an entertaining hour with Delphi,” Anna said. “Who reminded me how much I love young children. Also, how very exhausting they are.”
Claudia reached for her coffee. “How old is she?”
“Five and three quarters, as she told me. We read, and she asked approximately two hundred and fifty questions in the space of thirty minutes. She also drowned me in interesting facts. Did you know that there are over five hundred species of shark? Also, they have been around for more than four hundred million years.”
“Four hundred million? I’m going to stop complaining about almost being forty.” Claudia suppressed a yawn. “I remember yours asking a million questions when they were that age. Don’t you, Erica?”
Erica didn’t answer and Anna frowned slightly.
“Erica?”
Erica turned her head and blinked. “Sorry, what did I miss?”
“Sparkling conversation and pancakes—” Claudia gestured to the untouched plate in front of her. “You should eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You’re going to eat, or you’ll offend the chef.”
“Yesterday you were telling me it was the guests that were important, not the chef’s feelings.”
“That was yesterday. And it depends on the chef. I happen to like the breakfast chef. Eat. And also, tell us what’s on your mind.” Claudia leaned across the table and helped herself to a bite of Erica’s pancake. “Anna will get it out of you eventually, so you might as well just tell us now. Ow!” She felt Anna’s foot connect briskly with her ankle and stopped talking.
“I tapped on your door last night,” Anna said, “but there was no answer and you didn’t reply to my message. I was worried.”
“My phone was on silent.” Erica took a mouthful of pancake. “I spent the evening with Hattie.”
“That’s good.” Or was it? Claudia reached down and rubbed her ankle. “Did you talk?”
“Yes. And also shared a bottle of exceptionally good red wine. I’ve ordered you and Pete a crate for Christmas, Anna.”
“Thank you. That’s thoughtful.” Anna leaned forward. “And? Give us details.”
“It’s a pinot noir. Pete will love it.”
“I wasn’t asking about the wine.”
Erica put her fork down. “I know.”
A few other guests started to arrive in the restaurant, smiling a greeting as they passed the three women on their way to their table.
Anna waited until they were seated and out of earshot. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“Yes, she does,” Claudia said. “If we’re leaving this morning then there are plans to be made.” Was it selfish of her to hope they wouldn’t be leaving?
Anna was focused on Erica. “Was the conversation upsetting?”
Erica pushed her plate away. “It was strange. Unsettling. She talked about him. At length. I suppose it was the first time I’d ever thought of my father as a fully rounded human being. To me he was always the man who left us. Or the man that ran, as my mother used to refer to him.”
Claudia felt guilty for thinking about herself when this was such an emotionally draining time for Erica. If Erica wanted to leave then they’d leave.
She wanted to say the right thing, but she didn’t know what that was. It would be insulting to pretend she understood. Like Anna, her parents were boringly normal, whatever normal was, and for that she was grateful. They were still together after forty-five years of marriage, still fought about the same little things, still tended their garden and finished each other’s sentences. She couldn’t imagine being in Erica’s situation.
“Of course you saw him that way,” Anna said. “Why wouldn’t you? You didn’t have any other information.” She pushed Erica’s plate back toward her.
“But now I do.” Erica picked up her fork again and poked at her food. “To us he was the man who ran, but he didn’t run when he found himself in sole charge of Hattie. He didn’t leave her. He was a single dad in tough circumstances. He made compromises that meant he could focus on his daughter.”
“That’s heartening. They say people can’t change, but he clearly changed.” Anna finished her coffee. “Does that hurt?”