He wipes the corner of his mouth. “You used to be a lot more fun.”
I slide my chair back, away from his knees. When I stand, I see that across the restaurant someone has their phone out, pointed at us. They’re not embarrassed to be caught. They keep recording or taking pictures or whatever the hell it is they’re doing. Probably going to make thousands on this. I can’t even be mad at them. I chose to come here, right? I try to take my time as I leave, even though I’m shaking and my legs are weak.
Fuck. I’m tired. I’m tired of being caught in this cycle. Why would I even agree to meet Briggs like this? I knew what was going to happen: he would treat me like shit, push my boundaries, touch me without my consent. Around and around I go again.
RED ALERT: BREAKING NEWS
My dearest cherubs,
Feast your eyes on this latest visual entertainment:
[Video begins: The setting is a dark, grainy restaurant. Beneath the table, we see one man’s leg rubbing another man’s leg. The camera shakes and zooms in. The faces are blurry as one man kisses the other. One man gets up, looks at the camera. The image is blurry. Video ends.]
[Photos, side by side: Clearer images of Logan Gray sitting with Briggs Stevenson.]
I am so excited—no, thrilled—to return with more Logan Gray Is a Fucking Asshole? content! I’m over the moon for this newest blessing, because honestly, where would I be in my life without reasons to shit on Logan Gray? It’s like he writes these posts himself, and I’m ever-so-grateful that he continues to be the sort of trash fire human being that should probably off himself to stop this endless humiliation.
What? Too harsh?
Fine, then I’ll revise: I think that he should politely excuse himself from this earth and life, for his own sake. But, thankfully for ours, he’s still around so that we’ll be able to witness and enjoy his consistent disgrace.
I’m looking forward to the vague apology for cheating on Matthew Cole that’ll be released, so that I can begin the official countdown to the next Logan Gray incident.
Goodbye, my loves,
Angel
Twitter.com
Trending for You
HE CHEATED
#WeLoveMattieCole #LoganGrayIsOverParty #CancelLoganGrayPermanently
@parrotwars
I, for one, will be watching Write Anything to support Matthew Cole and the amazing cast and crew who put the movie together and to support the future of queer film. It’s unfortunate that Logan Gray was ever attached to it.
1.3K 11.7K 21.9K
@facinwashere
Is anyone really that shocked that he cheated???? He’s treated people like shit for most of his adult life. UM HELLO, yes he’s trash! He will always be trash!
608 7K 10.2K
@everydayhustlin
Logan Gray has told us exactly who he is, again and again. He cheated on Willow Grace, so of course he cheated on Matthew Cole, too. Mattie seems like a sweetheart, and he deserves better.
201 1.2K 4.7K
Video begins:
YouTube personality star Shaina Lively sits in front of bright yellow lights. Her eyes are puffy and red. She sniffs as she looks into the camera. She begins in her trademark Southern accent (which some, in the comments, have suggested is fake):
“Mattie Cole has had his heart broken by Logan Gray.” She pauses. “I mean, I haven’t actually seen him say that his heart was broken, but I’m assuming that it was, given those horrific photos that were leaked.”
She blinks and wipes the corner of her eye, trying not to cry.
“I’m sorry, y’all. There’s just something about this story that really does something to my heart. Matthew Cole deserves so much more than to be treated like crap by someone like Gray.
“It reminds me of the way I’ve ended up in cycles before, you know? I always find the same guys to run back to. The same ones who always treat me awfully in the end, like I’m not good enough for love. It’s amazing how the same cycle just keeps appearing again and again until we’re able to make a change. Like the same thing will keep happening until we start to heal. My exes even all look the same.”
She laughs and wipes her face. “Ugh! It’s not like I even know Mattie. We’re not close friends. I don’t know why I’m so emotional.
“Anyway, I didn’t mean to come on here and talk about my personal life today. I just hope that Matthew Cole isn’t trapped in a cycle like I was. I hope he can see that he is worth that starry-eyed, head-in-the-clouds romantic love where he’s doted on by someone who wants him to be happy. I hope I figure out the same thing for myself, too.”
Shaina smiles through the tears. “Well, that’s all for now! Until next time.”
Video ends.
Mattie
I knock on Logan’s apartment door. I don’t know if he even wants me here. I’ve been in LA for three days now, going back and forth on whether I should just come over, and I finally gave in. My insecure fear has reached a crescendo. Isn’t it possible that he never actually cared about me? Maybe I’m being a stalker now, and I just can’t get the hint that he doesn’t want me anymore. And even if those fears are wrong—even if he does love me, but he’s struggling to show it…I’m still confused about the line between supporting him and caring for myself. I deserve more than this. I’ve spoken to him, multiple times, about how I deserve more.
The door opens. I jump back, startled. I’d stopped knocking for a while, only scrolling through my phone, thinking about calling Logan one more time. He stands in the doorway, hair in his eyes and bags so dark they look like bruises. I can see behind him that his apartment is a mess again. I meet his gaze. It’s our first time seeing each other in over a month. His stare is shuttered, guarded, and…
I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I don’t know if I can continue to break down Logan’s walls in an attempt to save him. I’m not even sure he wants the help to change—and maybe I should be focusing on saving myself.
“Why haven’t you been answering me?” I ask him, voice low. “My calls, my texts…”
He shrugs. It’s the typical Logan Gray shrug, like he can’t be bothered to give a fuck. “Got bored.”
And this. Not only are his walls back up, but he’s on the offensive again—ready to hurt whoever he needs to if it means he’ll feel safe. I want to cry. For him and for me. But there’s anger, too. “Bored of me? Bored of the relationship?” I ask him. “Bored of what, Logan?”
He leans against the doorframe, watching me closely.
“You were with Briggs,” I say. “Why?”
“He invited me to lunch.”
“He hurt you.” I take a breath. Maybe it isn’t my place, to tell him where he can and can’t go, who he can be with, even if it was someone who attacked him. Even if it feels like he met up with Briggs because he’s still trapped by his trauma. “Why did you kiss him?”
“I can kiss whoever I want, can’t I?”