He looked ill.
Orion staggered and collapsed down onto the toilet seat. With his legs intertwined with Scorpius, he hyperventilated. Malum kept driving his fists punishingly through the concrete.
The kings were a mess.
The twins weren’t much better.
John and Luka stood on either side of me in the shower. Our sopping-wet bodies were pressed flushed against one another, and tremors rocked through all three of us. Scorpius’s back leaned against our legs.
I didn’t know which one of us was shaking.
Perhaps we all were.
The room spun in a blur of water, fire, and rage.
I turned my head to the side and came face-to-face with angry, dark eyes. Dimples framed a frowning mouth.
John reached out and enveloped me in a punishing hug. His arms trembled as he whispered something I couldn’t understand against the side of my neck.
Someone else’s hands turned me around, so my back was flush to John’s front.
I blinked through the hot water.
Luka grabbed my chin and tipped my face up. He spoke slowly like the words themselves were painful in his mouth. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
He waited for my response.
My brain had liquefied, and my thoughts were static. I tried to move my lips, but they were numb. My tongue was heavy. Dead.
Luka pulled my fingers away from my mouth, and it took me a second to realize I’d been picking at my lip.
The bathroom fell eerily quiet. The only sound was running water and heavy breathing as all the men went still and waited for my response.
Luka’s grip on my chin tightened. “Answer me, Arabella. Why didn’t you tell us?”
John spoke. “Lately—through our new bond—I’ve been feeling agony streak down my back at the strangest moments. I had no idea where it was coming from—that was you feeling attraction…wasn’t it?”
I shrugged.
John’s arms tightened around me. Luka’s fingers spasmed. A crown of shadows protruded off both their curls.
They looked equal parts terrified and terrifying.
“She shrugged,” Orion whispered loudly.
Scorpius let out an unholy sound, and he slammed his fists down onto the bathroom sink.
It cracked.
The silence fractured.
“I didn’t want you guys to worry,” I said with honesty.
Luka’s eyes narrowed into slits.
Malum whipped his head in my direction, and scarlet flames shot from his mouth. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? I kissed you. Touched you.” His voice cracked. “I hurt you.”
The temperature increased.
“It wasn’t too painful,” I said reassuringly. “I promise.”
“She’s lying,” John whispered. “I felt it—it was agonizing.”
“No. It wasn’t that bad,” I repeated desperately.
Malum’s expression was distraught. He looked devastated.
Luka’s fingers tightened on my chin as he brought his face forward, lips inches from mine. A shadowy cloak hung off his shoulders, and I could taste his minty breath like it was my own.
He whispered, “What chthonic spirit possessed you? Why would you ever let us fuck you without telling us about this?”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” I said. “That’s why I got so drunk. It never hurt.”
I needed them to understand.
His eyes widened, and his hand dropped from my face. He slammed back against the tile, gripping his chest like he’d been shot.
Malum shouted something vulgar. Orion gagged. Scorpius pounded his fist against the broken sink.
Luka spun around, punched the shower wall, and screamed.
Tile shattered.
John held me. “Please, never again,” he pleaded. “Please never pull this shit again, or so help me sun god, it won’t just be the kings committing crimes against the realms.” He pressed a soft kiss against the side of my neck, the heat from his skin warm against my chilled flesh.
Pain streaked down my back, and I winced.
John let out a string of colorful expletives. “Sorry.” He gritted his teeth. “I shouldn’t have done that. Shit.”
He hyperventilated and pulled away.
I turned around, shoulders banging against Luka in the small space, as I hugged John with all my strength. “Don’t release me right now,” I said. “Please.”
John’s arms came back around my sopping-wet clothes.
We held each other.
The rest of the men kept screaming and punching, my secrets detonating like bombs, as they destroyed the bathroom.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” John whispered brokenly against my hair, and I heard the unspoken question in his voice.
He was the person I told things to. He was my friend when the other men were my enemies.
It was different between us.
I inhaled his familiar sandalwood scent. “Because I didn’t want mother to take sex away from me too. I wanted to be with you in every way. No matter the circumstances. If you knew, you wouldn’t have touched me.”
John made a wounded sound.
“I need your touch,” I admitted.
His shaking fingers tangled in my wet curls.
Memories of him taking me in the field in the Legionnaire Games played through my head on repeat.
I swayed, but he held me up.
“No more,” John begged, lips pressed against my head. “Please—no more secrets. I don’t think I can survive it.”
I felt nauseous.
I inhaled courage and blurted out, “I-think-you’re-in-pain-because-I don’t-have-a-soul.” Water sprayed off my frozen lips.
He didn’t rear back like I expected.
John squeezed me tighter and whispered, “That’s bullshit—you’re wrong. If you were missing a soul, there would be no bond to form.”
I pulled back to put some space between us, which put me flush against Luka, who rubbed his hands up and down over my arms like he was trying to warm me.
The Necklace of Death pulsed against my chest.
I reached my hand up under my sweatshirt and held it; the stone was warm and vibrating like it was alive.
John’s eyes widened as he stared at where I gripped the necklace under my clothes.
I said quietly, “I need to take the jewelry off so you both can stop hurting.”
Luka stopped rubbing my arms comfortingly. His hands stilled, and he gripped my biceps tightly.
John shook his head. “It has already completed the bond. Taking it off will do nothing.” He moved closer.
My back was flush against Luka.
I was pinned between the twins.
Luka whispered in my ear, “The jewelry is a symbol of our love for you. Now that we’ve bonded, it’s connected us, body and soul. We’re your husbands, and you’re our wife.” His voice strummed with possessiveness, then the inflection changed and he begged, “Please don’t take it off.”
John trembled like he was freaking out.
“But it’s hurting you both?”
“You think we care about a little pain?” Luka asked in disbelief.
“That’s exactly how I felt,” I countered.
He frowned.
John tangled both his hands in my hair and said, “We’d walk through hell for you. This pain is nothing to us. What matters is your pain. You’re our wife. It’s our duty to protect you, and we’ve failed.”
“You don’t need to protect me,” I said. “I can protect myself.”