Then I ruined the small talk by bringing up how Luka’s piercing felt in my mouth. Apparently, that was too far. All the men glared at me (they were jealous of how good I was at sucking dick).
As we left the valley and climbed up one of the towering mountains, we were able to speak at full volume. The wind howled with so much force that our voices didn’t carry up in the higher elevation.
As the air thinned, I got more annoyed that I’d left the comfort of my bed. The weather mimicked my mood. Tiny snowflakes transformed into thick, wet flakes and the snow-covered dirt was replaced with icy rocks.
I slipped on black ice.
Arms flailing, I tipped forward toward the edge.
Malum grabbed me and barked, “Be careful.” Orion and Scorpius also scrambled to hold my arms.
They pulled me to safety and let me go.
Silver eyes narrowed. “You need to watch where you’re going. Do you ever pay attention? What is wrong with you?”
I closed my eyes. Three. Seven. Nine. Eleven. Thirteen.
Nope, counting didn’t work.
I whirled on him. “How about you watch where you’re going, Mitch?”
“Don’t call me that.” Flames exploded across his arms, and I leaned toward the warmth. His sleeves must have been fireproof, because his clothes didn’t melt away.
“Then don’t act like a Mitch and I won’t,” I countered.
He glowered. “Well, don’t almost fall off the mountain like an idiot, and I won’t act that way.”
“Maybe I wanted to fall off,” I countered.
Silver eyes sharpened into steel. “Try it and see what happens.”
I gasped with fake outrage. “Are you threatening me?”
“Maybe I am.” Flames climbed up his head. “What are you going to do about it?”
I pointed at his chest. “Don’t you dare tempt me.”
“You’re all talk.” He smirked cruelly.
“Move it along,” Scorpius ordered as he grabbed Malum by the back of the neck and dragged him up the side of the mountain. Orion motioned for me to walk forward like a gentleman, and we resumed our hike.
Malum shot dirty glares back at me over his shoulder.
I mimed snapping his neck.
His eyes widened, and it was my turn to smirk.
“Watch out, baby girl,” I mouthed, and he shook his head like I disturbed him.
Mission accomplished. Slay (in the celebratory sense).
Thirty minutes later, huffing on thin air, I asked, “Why again do we have to go so far away to train?”
“For the tenth time,” Scorpius said impatiently, “so we don’t accidentally hypnotize our fellow soldiers and murder them. We don’t know exactly how far Orion’s voice projects, but in our experience, it travels much further than normal sound.”
I sighed and kept climbing. “Well, I’m willing to risk it.”
“We know,” Orion said loudly.
Scorpius and Malum stopped moving on the side of the mountain. They were entranced. Frozen. Eyes glazed over.
“That shut them up,” I snickered, and Orion narrowed his eyes like I was ridiculous, but I didn’t miss the way the corner of his mouth turned up.
We had a secret.
It was nice to have something over the other kings, something only the two of us knew.
Unfortunately, they reanimated a second later and resumed climbing up the mountainside, none the wiser that Orion had temporarily frozen them with his voice.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Malum stopped climbing and pointed at a low boulder. “Here will work.”
Sun god help whoever had to purchase property with him, if this was the extent of his judgment.
“Oh yes,” I said sarcastically. “Thank the sun god we’ve found this rock in particular.” I patted the top. “I like the poop-brown color.”
We were halfway up the side of the jagged cliff face surrounded by nothing but snow and icy wind.
The visibility was shit.
Malum snarled, “That is not funny.”
Scorpius snickered, and I pointed at him with satisfaction. Malum looked like he was having an aneurysm.
“You sure about that?” I asked as I kicked a rock, and it tumbled off the mountain’s sheer cliff face. I admired the steep incline; you could really do some damage if you fell off. All your bones would be easily broken.
“Oooh, I’m going to fall.” I flailed my arms and pretended to stumble.
Faster than my eyes could track, Malum grabbed me around the waist and threw us both away from the edge.
I landed on top of him.
For a long moment, we lay in stunned silence.
“You’re an idiot. It was just a joke,” I said haughtily as Orion and Scorpius yanked me to my feet.
Malum exploded into angry scarlet flames as he stood. His expression was pure violence.
“Sadie would have laughed,” I pointed out as I pursed my lips and rubbed my hands together. They were frozen solid.
Men truly had no sense of humor.
“Don’t mention that whore in front of us,” Scorpius sneered.
I gaped at him. Sadie wasn’t exaggerating when she’d said the men were still jealous of her for having fake shower sex with me.
“Oh my sun god,” I exclaimed. “Is it hard?”
The three of them straightened and looked around for danger. “Is what hard?”
“Being so stupid?” I asked at the same time Scorpius asked, “My cock?”
I ignored him.
Flames sizzled as they shot higher off Malum’s arms, and I smirked with triumph. It was too easy to rile him up. I might have even called it a hobby.
Their ire was even more satisfying because they thought I was their precious Revered. They were all, you’re our mate, we’ll kill everyone and cherish you forever. They were so into me.
It was so cringy.
I pitied them.
They couldn’t handle me—few could. I had the body of a large bird, mind of a lunatic, and personality of a divorced middle-aged woman with a shopping addiction.
I was perfect.
“Deep breaths,” Scorpius barked at Malum and grabbed his neck in a tight grip.
I covered my mouth to hide my laughter, and Orion looked over at me with exasperation.
“Is Mitch seriously going to kill us all right now with his fire?” I asked between gasps.
Somehow I’d gone from sleeping in the warm embrace of John to being halfway up a mountainside while Malum struggled not to burn us all to death.
Emotionally, this was too much for me.
Delirium was setting in. Also, I was 99 percent sure I was still intoxicated.
No one responded, because they were too busy trying to help Malum get control of himself.
To help the situation, I pointed at the flaming king and said, “You need therapy.”
A muscle in Malum’s jaw ticked, and when he spoke, flames shot out of his mouth. “We are literally in therapy with you.” He roared and painted the cold air in shades of scarlet.
I grimaced.
Some people didn’t get sarcasm.
I sat down on the ugly boulder and blew into my cupped hands. “How long is this going to take?” Tucking my pipe between my lips, I closed my eyes with relief as I inhaled drugs. “Can we hurry this up? I want to go back and cuddle the twins.”
Malum screamed out more fire.