“I just spent ten minutes watching a squirrel attack a photo of Richard Gere.” Poppy crossed her arms. “It was violent.”
“Dash won’t be thrilled to hear that.” Sophie gave a soft smile as she came up the porch steps.
“I wanted to thank you for helping with my brother.” Poppy’s expression didn’t warm, but Sophie knew how weird this must be for her—to discover so much about her brother and feel like even more of an outsider than she already had. “Dash needed someone on his side yesterday, like you said. And you were the only one who knew what to do.”
“Of course. I care about him, Poppy. As a friend, and even...” Sophie knew this maybe wasn’t the best time to bring up her relationship with Dash, but she wasn’t sure when a good time would be. So she just went for it. “Can I officially apologize now?”
Poppy cracked her neck. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”
Sophie steeled herself for the very real possibility that all would not be forgiven, but she had to try. “Poppy, I’ve been inexcusably horrible. I should’ve told you about Dash as soon as it happened, but I was just scared. I love you so much, and our friendship is the most important thing to me, but I was having all these confusing feelings.”
“For my brother,” Poppy quickly fired back.
Sophie looked down to regather her thoughts. “Yes, for Dash, and I didn’t know how to tell you. And he and I hadn’t really figured out what was happening either.”
“But you still kept hooking up with him.”
“He’s more than just a hookup to me.” Then Sophie looked up and locked eyes with her. “What can I do to make this right? I will do anything. I can work for free at the spa for the rest of my life, or be your personal assistant, or—I don’t know—walk around wearing one of those giant sandwich signs with the words Terrible Friend in big letters.”
Poppy thought for a moment, inspected her nails, and pursed her lips before she answered. “You can tell me what the hell you were thinking, for starters. I got you this spot at Dash’s because I knew you needed the discounted rent. I’ve had you at our family’s house. You’ve never told me you had a crush on Dash.”
“Everyone had a crush on Dash growing up. It didn’t seem helpful for me to tell you that I liked him as a teenager.” Sophie sat in the Adirondack chair on her porch, ready to settle in for however long this would take. “And when I moved into his place, there were no feelings. I didn’t feel any kind of way for him. It just sort of happened, all at once, and I couldn’t stop. Trust me, I tried.”
“Dash is one of the most important people in my life,” Poppy said.
“I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Poppy started to pace the length of the porch. “If you hurt him, especially after everything he’s been through and is going through now, I will be in the very awkward position of having to kill you. And I don’t want to be a murderess. Though, I think we both know my mug shot would be fierce.”
“It would,” Sophie quickly acknowledged. “But I won’t hurt him. I just want to be his person.”
“But you’re my person.” Poppy’s voice had gone soft, and her eyes met Sophie’s.
Sophie stood. “And you’re my person, too. But, like, my friend person.”
“In this life, but what about the next one?”
“Fingers crossed.” Sophie crossed her fingers and held them up, and then Poppy wrapped her in the biggest and warmest of Poppy hugs. Sophie hugged her back, enjoying her head resting in between her friend’s cleavage. “I really missed the boob hugs.”
“They missed you, too.”
36
DASH
Chris drove the DADG ERS station wagon to Dash’s house and helped load up luggage into the back. There was no waiting a day or two to let life settle back to normal. The rehabilitation center options were ones that could take Dash immediately, so he could start recovery again as soon as possible.
There was the one in Santa Barbara that focused on healing through meditation and spirituality, another in Austin with an emphasis on equine therapy, and one in the hills of LA that operated as a working farm with combined group and individual therapy. Dash had always been someone who needed to keep busy as part of recovery, so he’d chosen to be a farmer.
When the car was loaded, Dash hugged Poppy, who assured him of her plans to disown Kitty, despite his protests that his problems weren’t hers. Then he turned to Sophie and held her close. Sophie slipped a piece of paper into his hands and whispered into his ear, “Open that when you need some company.” She gently pecked him on the cheek, and he closed his eyes to savor the feel of her against him.
He slipped the paper into the pocket of his jeans as he got into the car with Chris. In a way, he was relieved to be in a safe place: he couldn’t have another drink if he was with his sponsor or at rehab. And he didn’t trust himself not to drink now that he’d slipped.
“Did you and Sophie get a chance to talk about visitation at the rehab center?” Chris asked as he pulled out of the driveway.
“We didn’t exactly have a lot of time.” Dash shot Chris a look. He wanted to glance back to see Sophie, but watching her fade into the distance would be too painful. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I told her I loved her. But I’m not sure she feels the same way.”
“I once got hit in the eye with a foul ball, but even I can see that she’s in love with you.” Chris smirked.
“She didn’t say it back.” He knew, logically, that Sophie had a problem with saying those three words, but it didn’t stop the pain he’d felt when she hadn’t returned the sentiment.
“You know that annoying saying, actions speak louder than words?” As they hit a red light, Chris turned in his seat to look at Dash. “Sophie stayed with you in your room all last night to watch you sleep and make sure you didn’t get sick. Did you know that? If that’s not love, then what do you call that?”
Dash had not known that she’d stayed up with him the night before, but of course she had. She was Sophie. “She said she needs time.”
“Then, be a good listener and give her time.” Chris shook his head. “You think Mira was just convinced to spend the rest of her life with me because I have The Rock’s pecs and Christopher Meloni’s ass? No. I had to work every day to convince her that life with me would be fun. Hell, I learned how to make latte art so I can surprise her every morning with a new drawing. And you know I’m not artistic!”
“Well, I’m pretty sure that by relapsing, I did the opposite of showing her how fun I can be.” Dash landed back against the seat with a thud.
“Okay, I’m about to pull some action-movie shit.” Chris dramatically turned the wheel of the car and pulled over to the side of the road.