“Are you serious right now?” Kyle jumped back from the spot where he stood and desperately tried to wipe the wetness off his shirt.
“That’s something I should’ve done a long time ago.” Sophie’s fists balled at her sides. She turned and walked away from Kyle and the table.
As she exited the bar, adrenaline rushed through her. She knew that she wouldn’t be learning much from this experience with him. He accused her of having trust issues, but what he really meant was jealousy. She supposed she was a little jealous, at times: not wanting to share Jewel with an open relationship, and spying on Kyle to see if he was cheating. Maybe jealousy could be holding her back from falling in love, but it also felt like she’d just picked the wrong people.
Sophie checked her phone while walking to the bus stop, and there was a message waiting from Carla.
Seriously long night. Can we hang soon?
Sophie should’ve been thrilled, but all she felt was empty.
26
DASH
Dash had been in recovery long enough to know that there were good days and bad days. On the good days, he only had brief thoughts about drinking that flickered like a failing light bulb. On the bad ones, drinking became more of a daydream he couldn’t wake from.
More specifically, he’d fantasized about how easy it would be to just head out his front door, cross the lawn, open the gate, and walk the two blocks to the liquor store. He’d buy a dark brown bourbon, bring the bottle to the register, and have his first long pull right there in the store before carrying it back home to fill a tall tumbler. He ached to have the burn across his throat as he swallowed down the one thing that could numb all his thoughts.
He never should’ve agreed to meet Cindy or to help his parents with the speech. Or help Sophie. That last thought crossed his mind, but then he pushed it away. Sophie was the one change that hadn’t been a mistake. While the others had brought self-doubt and anxiety, she was light and air and one of the few people who accepted him for exactly who he was.
But he couldn’t dwell on her for long. He had to stay busy to keep his mind from wandering to how nice it would be to just give in to the inevitable and drink. So he’d decided to take on a bigger-scale project because he needed an outlet to pour all of his feelings into.
As he was about to head toward his work studio, he glanced out the window next to his front door. Not because he was hoping to see Sophie, necessarily, but he couldn’t deny he’d been checking out that window multiple times already just to see if she was around.
And, as it turned out, this time she was. Sophie was in the Adirondack chair on her porch, her laptop open and resting on her knees. She scowled at the screen, and he wondered if a coffee might help.
“Hey.” He carried a mug filled to the brim with a fresh cup from his French press.
Sophie looked up, and her expression softened at the sight of him. Something about being able to put her in a better mood made his heart thud a little faster than normal. Or maybe it was the quick walk across their shared lawn.
“You’re home.” Her loose marigold-yellow caftan with a deep V-neck whooshed and clung to her curves as a breeze fluttered through.
“I’m always home,” Dash said in an attempt at humor and shielded his eyes from the sun with his free hand. “You look like you could use some fuel. Coffee?”
“Sure, thanks.” She licked her lips before catching his eye again. “I don’t know if I’ve ever thanked you for...supporting me, I guess. But I think it’s really nice that you helped me write at the spa, and you’re bringing me coffee while I try to work. Not everyone does that.”
“Well, you looked a few seconds away from throwing the laptop.” His brows rose. “Can’t have that.”
“I’d like to say I’ve made some progress on my old book, but I’m just...stuck.” Her determined little canine tooth crested her lip, as if threatening to bite him. What the tooth didn’t know was that Dash would very much like that. “I met up with the last ex I needed to see, and it went terribly.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Dash would talk about anything with Sophie, even her exes.
“I thought that when I saw him, everything I’m trying to figure out would click into place. But he just made me so angry about the fact that I tolerated dating him for as long as I did. I made a lot of bad choices in my twenties.” She blew across the top of the hot coffee.
“I don’t know.” Dash rocked back on his heels. “Those choices all led you here, didn’t they?”
She stopped blowing and looked up at him. There was a moment between them that he couldn’t quite place, and instead of Sophie filling the silence, he did. “Maybe you just need a few days to process your meeting with him, then you can revisit.”
Sophie blinked, then sipped the coffee. A low sound of satisfaction escaped her, then she asked, “Where are you off to now?”
“I’ve got plans for a new plate. Something structured and with tiny detailing. I need a distraction.”
“So do I.” She closed her laptop and stood up, placing the computer on the chair. “Show me?”
An easy smile passed between them, and he thought that maybe he could keep Sophie as a friend and forget the undeniable chemistry that still simmered between them. Because having her in his life was better than not having her at all.
Dash led them through his house and opened the interior door to his garage. The smell of baked clay and wet paint wafted out as he flipped on the overhead light. That smell promised potential and an afternoon of focus. His whole garage studio felt like a space that was entirely his. But now, with Sophie in it, he was revealing an intimate part of himself she hadn’t yet seen.
“Seize the Clay?” Sophie smirked as she pointed to the wooden sign he’d commissioned and hung against one wall. The name had come to him after visiting Ojai’s idyllic main street, which was cluttered with cutesy, pun-filled names.
“It was that, or License to Kiln,” he said, chuckling.
She walked the perimeter of the garage, inspecting the countertops with her fingertips. “I always wondered what you had in here, since it’s clearly not your car. I just assumed bins of gummy bears.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” He leaned against a worktable. “Most of my videos are about how to make ceramics using a kitchen oven or microwave. I get a lot of engagement on those because it’s an easy point of entry for newbies. But when I need a bigger project, I use the kiln and the pottery wheel.”
He pointed to the kiln in one corner, then the pottery wheel in the center of the room. Dash led her to a worktable next to a line of lockers where he stored materials. She picked up a now-dry dish that sat on top of a clean tarp. The fresh glaze made it sparkle and she rotated it from side to side, turned it over, and ran her fingers along the top and bottom.