“You, too,” he answered hesitantly.
“This is a really interesting spot.” She tried to make small talk and rocked back on her heels, wishing she could speed up to the part of the night where she got to leave.
“Yeah, I’ve been here for about three years now,” he dryly said.
Oh, great. He was leading with sarcasm, trying to make her feel bad because, apparently, he’d been waiting for her to show up. She took a deep breath in and braced for more.
“What can I get you?” he asked.
“Oh, you don’t have to get me anything. Let’s just sit and catch up.” She sat down at the table and waited for him to do the same, but he just stood there.
“I have other tables.” He looked at her then, holding a pad of paper and a pen, which is when she realized that this person was not in fact Kyle but the waiter.
Which was made even more apparent when an equally tall man with slicker hair and a ratty T-shirt came up and sat down at the table across from Sophie.
“Ordering without me?”
She looked at the waiter, then at Kyle. “God, I’m so sorry,” she told the waiter.
But Kyle, in very Kyle fashion, assumed she was talking to him. “Appreciate the apology. I’ll have a double vodka, please.”
“I’ll have a soda water, thanks.” Sophie was deeply grateful that the low lighting concealed the embarrassed flush that ran hot across her cheeks.
Their waiter nodded, then walked away quickly, not that she could blame him.
Kyle scratched at his patchy beard. “You’re not drinking? On one of those weird cleanses again?”
Sophie sucked in her top lip, then said, “I’m just not drinking tonight.” Even though she kind of needed a drink to get through this chat with Kyle, she hadn’t had a drink in almost a week. And, to be honest, not drinking helped her feel way more in control of her life than she had in a while. She might just keep it up, but that was none of Kyle’s business.
He readjusted the collar of his shirt and looked at her. “So what’s this all about? You know I’m kind of seeing someone, right?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“We’re not exclusive. So if you wanted to say, you know, get in a little something-something now.” He made a clicking noise with his tongue, as if to sweeten the proposition.
“What?” Sophie shook her head. “What are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?” Kyle crossed his arms, as if offended.
“I asked you here to find out why we didn’t work out. Geez, Kyle.” She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, too. She was offended.
Kyle performed at open mics, acted in an improv troupe, and was, in general, the absolute worst, most self-centered human being alive. He’d implied throughout their relationship that Sophie was very lucky to be with him, and for a time, she’d believed him.
“Uh.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked off. “You’re asking me for closure? You broke up with me. Which was honestly kind of a shock because I’ve never been broken up with before. We had a fight, and then you stopped returning my texts.” Kyle put his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I even called, but you never picked up. And you always picked up my calls, even that one time when you were at the lady doctor. If anyone needs closure, it’s me.”
Sophie didn’t immediately respond, as she was still processing everything Kyle had just said. He wasn’t wrong—Sophie had always put him first in their relationship, and she was sure her silence was a shock to him. But she couldn’t believe he was trying to put the blame on her—classic Kyle. “I didn’t see the point in returning your calls since you were a massive asshole when I ended our relationship.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He put his hands up, as if to shield himself from her. “When did you get so angry?”
“I’m not angry. I’m just being honest. You were a jerk!” Her voice was absolutely getting louder, but she found she couldn’t just sit back and let Kyle be Kyle. She’d done plenty of that when they were together.
The waiter dropped off their drinks, and Kyle immediately took a swig from his glass. Sophie wrapped her hands around the cold tumbler, willing herself to calm down. Because while talking to Kyle had never exactly been easy, she found this whole interaction infuriating. Even if he wasn’t totally wrong.
Sophie exhaled and steeled herself to do the thing she’d never done when they dated: confront him. “You know what, Kyle? The truth is that you wanted me to be the easygoing type and ignore that you were always hitting on girls after shows. I saw you do it all the time. But that got really old. And yes, I should’ve just confronted you about it. But I didn’t feel like I could, because then I wouldn’t be that perfect cool girl you needed me to be.”
She thought of Poppy and how she’d be fist-pumping the air for her. She decided to press on, just to make Imaginary Poppy proud. “And what about when I told you that you were addicted to your phone, and you told me I was the one who was a tech addict because I needed a pacemaker to live?” She touched the scar on her chest for emphasis, not that he could even see her doing that in the darkness of the restaurant, but still, it was the principle of the thing.
“Well, uh, you do.” He chewed on a piece of ice as he spoke, and vodka-water dribbled down his chin. “It was just a joke. You laughed at it back then.”
“I always had to laugh at your jokes because of your fragile ego!” Okay, yes, she was shouting now, and it felt really good, too. “That’s why I broke up with you!”
“No, Sophie, you have trust issues. Period. That is why we broke up. Not because I made some clever joke about your pacemaker or because I had adoring fans.”
Sophie rolled her eyes at the fan comment. She already had more fans on social than he’d likely had at any of his shows.
“Kyle Slannis?” Someone tapped on the end of a microphone. “Kyle to the stage, you’re up.”
Sophie’s mouth dropped open. “Did you seriously ask me to meet you at a bar where you’re doing a stand-up set?”
“What? You always loved coming to my shows.” He raised his hands in a what-can-you-do kind of gesture.
“You clearly haven’t been following the fact that most of our relationship was one big lie, on my part.” Sophie stood up, eager to flee. “I think I got all the closure I’ll ever get.”
“Whatever. Can you make sure to close out our tab?”
Sophie ran a hand through her hair and grabbed the end of her messy bun. “Our tab? I ordered a water.”
“Yeah, but I have to go onstage, and you always used to get the tab.” He leaned down to give her a ridiculous peck on the cheek, which she didn’t even have time to swat away.
But when he pulled away, she did have time to grab his vodka and toss the remaining icy water all over his shirt. “This time, the tab is on you.”