I couldn’t take it all in. How had things gotten so out of control?
I was on the verge of a breakdown. First there had been Dan and Beth, then the adrenaline that had run through me for the first time in years, the good and bad memories it had awakened, the weakness and guilt I’d felt when Nick had to give his car to that asshole, the pain in my knees and hands, which were bleeding from the fall. As the rush faded away, I started to grasp all that had happened.
Ten minutes later, in uncomfortable silence, we arrived at a gas station that was open all night.
Lion cut the engine and got out to open the door for Jenna and give her a long, passionate hug. Nick got out at the same time and walked inside. I didn’t move. I couldn’t watch him. I didn’t want to.
I felt guilty; everything that had happened had been my fault, and that fight could have been a thousand times worse. I had no idea what Ronnie was doing with a gun, but I’d at least figured out that those races were nothing like the ones I’d seen as a girl, and the people here were nothing like the people back there. This was dangerous, there was a lot of money on the line, and the drivers were all criminals. I’d left a gang member looking ridiculous and forced my newly acquired stepbrother into a fight.
The situation had been bad to start with, but now it was worse than I could imagine.
Nicholas emerged from the gas station with a full bag and handed bandages, alcohol, and a bottle of pain reliever to Jenna and Lion. One of the guys fighting had split open her forehead. Lion cleaned her up and made sure she was all right.
Nicholas came around to the other side of the car. He took out alcohol and a bandage without bothering to look at me. He emptied a bottle of water on his head, shook out his hair, and then opened my door. I tried to get out. I could take care of my own wounds. But he wouldn’t let me.
“Give me your hands,” he said in an inexpressive tone. His lip was destroyed, the bruise on his cheek awful. And all of it had been my fault. I felt a knot in my stomach.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered so softly I didn’t even know whether he’d heard.
He took one of my hands and delicately cleansed the wound, which was full of blood and dirt.
I didn’t know what to say. I’d have preferred he yell at me or tell me how stupid and terrible I was, but instead, he just tended to my injuries. Behind us, Jenna and Lion were talking softly, sweetly. She was now looking after him. Nicholas looked at me only once before walking around to the driver’s seat. Minutes later, we were back on the road. No one said a word, not even Jenna or Lion.
It was then that I realized I had fucked up bad.
14
Nick
Four days later, and I still hadn’t shown up at home. After what happened at the races, I didn’t want to even stick my head in. I wasn’t sure how I’d react when I came face-to-face with Noah again. A small part of me wanted to strangle her and make her pay for what her stupid little game had cost me. My car, my black Ferrari, which had cost more than two hundred thousand dollars, and the definitive end of my truce with Ronnie’s gang. That fucker had tried to shoot us in the back. I still remembered the feeling in my chest as I heard the shot and Noah screaming in the back seat. I hadn’t wanted to look back. I had been scared at what I’d find; I’d never known that kind of fear before. And all that because some dumb girl had been incapable even once of paying attention to what she was told.
When I had seen her race, I had felt completely powerless. I had no idea where she’d learned to drive like that, but she had sure beaten Ronnie’s ass. I had to admire the way she’d taken that second curve—not even I would have had the balls to hit it at that speed—but all that told me was how little survival instinct she had.
And then I couldn’t get out of my head that kiss I’d given her or how much I wanted to do it again. I couldn’t forget those full, savory lips, that body… They drove me wild.
Dammit.
I couldn’t go home; I didn’t know how I’d act. One part of me, the perverted one, the one that clearly didn’t need my head to think, wanted to grab that girl with her blond hair and honey-colored eyes and do it all to her, make her pay for losing my most treasured possession; the other wanted to make her afraid to even be near me, to even breathe too loudly when I was in the room. The first option was the more attractive, and admitting it made me hate myself.
I’d been partying for four days straight, staying up till the early morning and always waking up with a different girl. Ronnie and I were done forever after what had happened, and I was worried about how he’d act the next time we saw each other, which would happen sooner rather than later, since we moved in the same circles.
Amazing. That girl had screwed up everything in no time whatsoever, and to make it worse, I still had to see her every damn morning once I returned home.
I went home once I’d fixed the back windshield of my car. I was in a bad mood, and it was about to get worse. I parked in my spot, put on my sunglasses—my hangover was killing me—and walked to the door, thinking I’d just disappear into my room for the rest of the day, but no dice. As soon as I walked in, I heard a shout coming from the kitchen that made me curse under my breath and pray for the patience I’d need to put up with that moment.
I walked slowly to the kitchen, where my stepmother, her daughter, and Jenna were having breakfast at the island. Noah—my personal blond hell. She seemed thrown off when she saw me walk in. Her skin was tan, her hair blonder and more colorful than the last time I’d seen her. She was wearing a swimsuit, but a towel wrapped under her armpits covered up most of it. She was dripping water onto the counter over her bowl of cereal. Jenna was doing basically the same, but with no towel and with that welcoming smile she reserved for friends and family.
So they were friends now?
“Nick, you’re finally back. You dad was calling you all day yesterday,” Raffaella said gently, but her face seemed to tell me she’d been up all night. Unlike Noah, who seemed happy to just throw on whatever, she took good care of her appearance and had pulled her platinum hair back and was wearing a suit of neatly ironed white linen.
She was taking her new role as Mrs. William Leister seriously.
“I’ve been busy,” I said, cutting her off as I walked to the fridge and took out a beer.
“What’s the deal, Nick? You aren’t going to say hi?” Jenna said, turning around in her chair to face me.
I gave her a nasty look. Jenna knew perfectly well that I wasn’t in the mood. Why didn’t she act like Noah and just shut up and eat her cereal?
I grunted, brought the beer to my lips, and noticed how Noah was trying to act completely unaffected by my presence.
“Nicholas, your father was calling because we’re going to New York tonight,” Raffaella said, getting my attention. “He’s got a conference, and he wants me to go. I’d like it if you could stay here with Noah. I don’t want her all alone in such a big house, and—”
“Mom, I told you I’m fine,” my stepsister said with a scowl. “I can stay here by myself. Anyway, Jenna will stay here and keep me company, right, Jenna?”
Jenna nodded, shrugging, looking first at me and then at Noah. So she was trying to ignore me and she wanted me to leave. Interesting.
“I’ll stay,” I said, not really knowing what I was getting into.
By the face she made in response, I could tell Noah would have rather been anywhere but there just then.
“Thank you, Nick. That really makes me feel better,” Raffaella said, getting up and taking one last sip of coffee. “I’m going to go pack my bags. I’ll see you all before I go.” And with that, she left.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I know how to take care of myself,” Noah said.