“Who is this?” he asked me. Was he pretending to be interested in my private life?
I reached out to grab my phone, but he pulled it away, observing my reaction.
“What do you care?” I hissed with as much contempt as I could muster.
“Me? I couldn’t give less of a shit. But I’m guessing it must be your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend if you’ve got any self-respect. And since women are all basically the same, I’d imagine that your main goal tonight, besides pestering me, is getting your revenge on this dickhead.”
How could he know that? Was it so obvious that payback was the one thing on my mind? He continued, “So let me offer my assistance. I’ll kiss you and we’ll take a bunch of photos of it, and in exchange you’ll take your ass back home. I don’t want you here, Noah.”
I was shocked and needed some time to absorb what he’d said. As I lingered there, he stared at whatever was happening behind me. Kiss this idiot? Never! And yet, if I thought about it, he really was hot, and maybe I wasn’t into it exactly, but I knew perfectly well how that bastard Dan would take it. He had a big head and thought he was the best-looking guy at the school, and nothing would bother him like seeing me with a guy who was obviously his physical superior.
“Fine,” I said. From Nick’s expression, I could see he’d assumed I wouldn’t go along with it. “I want that fucker to feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world, and if I’ve got to kiss you to make that happen?” I shrugged. “Then so be it. But I don’t want to go anywhere else tonight. I’m having fun, so here’s the deal. You offer me your body to help me get revenge on my stupid ex-boyfriend, and I promise I won’t crash any more of your parties.”
He smiled, and I looked back at him confused. What was so funny?
“You’re honestly fucked up in the head, you know that, right?” He shook his own head in disbelief.
“I’m in a bad, bad place right now, and all I care about is seeing that bastard suffer as much as I’m suffering right now.” I could hear the pain in my voice. That photo kept flashing over and over in my mind, tormenting me. I didn’t care that Nick was my stepbrother or that he was a grade-A imbecile. I wanted vengeance, that was it. I knew the drinks I’d had that night were affecting my judgment, but I didn’t care.
“So are you going to kiss me or not?” I dared him.
Nick laughed.
That pissed me off, so I did something I’d been wanting to do ever since I met him: I raised one foot and kicked him straight in the shin. He shouted, more from surprise than pain.
“Stop laughing, jerkoff! There are plenty of dudes here. If you’re not going to do it, someone else will.” As soon as I’d spoken, I got ready to walk off and show him I was serious.
“That’s not gonna happen,” he said brusquely. “I want you out of here, so get over here.” He pulled me over to the hood of the car, where no one else at the party could see us, thankfully. I hopped up on the hood, and Nicholas looked at my legs, my waist, my chest, my eyes.
“You must really be pissed to do this,” he said, pulling out the iPhone and turning on the camera.
“You must be really desperate not to see me anymore,” I counterattacked, pretending I wasn’t nervous at all. I could barely stand him; I hated him actually, and for the same reason, it made me happy to know I was using him for my benefit.
He didn’t say anything back. He just opened my knees with his hands and got between them. While he held the phone with one hand, the other stroked the bare flesh of my thighs. Despite what I’d thought or what I wished I’d thought, that contact didn’t leave my body indifferent.
“Just get it over with,” I said, and he looked irate, but his left hand grabbed the nape of my neck, and he slammed his lips into mine.
I couldn’t suppress a tickle in my stomach. His lips were soft, his chin prickly with a slight growth of beard. He kissed me angrily, as if he were making me pay for all the arguments we’d had since we met. I realized then that I hadn’t heard the camera click.
I shoved him as hard as I could but only managed to move him a few inches.
“Why don’t you take the photo already?” This was the closest he’d ever been to me and the best view I’d ever had of those bright eyes with their long lashes. He wasn’t hard to look at. My god! The son of a bitch was making my legs tremble, it didn’t matter how much I hated him.
“How about you open your mouth without making some stupid-ass comment and we can finally get this over with?” he replied.
He lifted the phone to the height of our heads. As I watched him, my lips grew involuntarily moist. Then he pulled me into him. He kissed me; I heard the click. He put his tongue in my mouth, and when he started to move it, I felt suddenly weightless. Our lips were moving in unison, and it wasn’t just because of the photo.
I liked feeling what I felt just then. My entire body was burning with passion for the moment, and deep down in my soul, I knew I had my revenge. I was enjoying that kiss, and I couldn’t wait for my ex-boyfriend to find out!
His hands were back on my legs. This was lust, pure, undiluted lust. And hate. We hated each other, we couldn’t stand each other, and that made it okay for us to use each other in this way.
I reached up and ran my hands through his dark hair. Screw being prudent!
His hands were on my lower thighs, squeezing them, making me shiver, making parts of my body I’d prefer not to name catch fire. He bit my lower lip, and I wanted to scream.
“Don’t stop,” I said when he reached my waist. I wanted him to keep going, wanted him to make me forget all I was feeling at that instant, to make all my sorrow vanish, all my demons. I wanted to use him for that, use him the way so many boys use girls, I wanted…
He pulled away.
I opened my eyes. What was he doing?
“You’ve got your photo,” he said, and dropped the phone into my hand.
I was panting. I was angry that he’d stopped; I was angry that the one time he did something right, he had to mess it up; I was angry because he was incorrigible and I hated everything he, his father, and his godforsaken life had done to mine.
“That’s it?” I asked. My cheeks were on fire. My body was yearning for him to touch me again.
“Try to stay out of my way tonight,” he warned me.
What had happened? What had we just done?
I watched him as he walked away, feeling a strange, indescribable sensation.
12
Nick
I thought I was going to explode just then. Each of my nerve endings had awakened with a burning, unsettling intensity. My anger grew as I walked over to my friends.
Why the hell had I kissed her? Why had I entered her game? Since when did I let a girl get me so hot without me taking the reins? The answer to all these questions had four letters: Noah.
Since I’d seen her tonight, I hadn’t been able to get her out of my head. I didn’t know if it was the attraction of the forbidden, since she was my stepsister, or if I needed somehow to feel I could control her, put out that fire that kept shooting out of her mouth and make her act like all the other women I’d known and managed to control.