“How are you feeling?” asks Nikolai as he eyes me warily.
It’s nice of him to inquire, but there’s a small, bitter part of me that wishes that it was Uri who was doing the asking instead. “Miserable, most of the time,” I admit. “I think I spend every other second thinking about Polly, wondering where she is. If she’s safe. If she’s afraid. If she’s alone.” My breath catches and I bite down on my bottom lip. “I just wish I could remember something that might help. I keep wracking my brain, trying to jog my memory, but it feels like the more I try to remember, the hazier the memories become.”
“I wouldn’t push yourself that far. Just… let things relax. Maybe it’ll come back naturally if you don’t force it.”
I meet his eyes. “Polly doesn’t have that kind of time, Nikolai. She could already have been purchased by now. Every day I don’t remember is another day she’s suffering.”
My chest is so heavy that, despite all the medication I’m taking to prevent nausea, I feel like I need to throw up.
“Can I make a suggestion? What if you were to talk to someone?”
I frown. “Like… you?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Like a professional. Therapy could help you focus, give you enough clarity that you might be able to uncover something that might help us.” When I start to protest, he holds up a hand again. “There’s no risk in trying. Even if you don’t succeed in remembering anything, it might help you cope with everything you’re dealing with.”
I bite my bottom lip. “You think Uri will allow it?”
Nikolai’s eyes narrow as he gets to his feet. “Leave that part to me.”
He’s heading to the door when I stop him. I know it’s a long shot but I’ve got to at least ask. I’ve been trapped down here so long that even my skin has started to feel unhealthy. It’s taken on this weird sallow tinge in the last day that I really don’t like.
“Nikolai? Can you do me a favor?”
Immediately, his face pinches up. “That depends on the favor.”
“Can you convince Uri to let me out of the basement for at least a few hours every day? Just to get some sunlight, maybe a walk around the grounds? It would be good for the babies.”
Nikolai’s sigh betrays nothing. The Bugrov brothers really have the whole inscrutable thing down to a science.
“I’ll ask him,” Nikolai says at last. “But no promises, okay?”
I sigh. “There never are.”
14
URI
I’m busy pouring over fresh leads that look a lot more like dead ends when Nikolai sweeps in.
“Don’t you knock?” I ask impatiently.
Nikolai gives me the look he gets every time he’s trying to “manage” me. Eyebrows pulled taut with his lips all pursed up like a teenage girl. “Listen, I want to talk to you about some—”
Ring. Ring. Ring.
I hold up my hand and answer the call, cutting Nikolai off mid-sentence. He sighs and sits down opposite me.
“Kruger, tell me you have some news for me.”
“No news, boss,” the man says with an apologetic sigh. “But I may have another lead. There’s a dirty cop on the force who has connections with several local sex rings in the city. Name’s Tony Gallagher. If anyone knows where your girl’s at, he may be our best bet.”
My hands tighten on the edge of my desk. “I want to talk to him face to face. But leave my name out of it when you set up the meeting.”
“You got it, boss.”
“You got Kruger on the job?” Nikolai asks the moment I hang up.
“He’s smart and loyal and we’re running out of other options. So yes, brother, I got Kruger on the job.” I fold my hands together and lean forward. “Do you have a problem with my methods?”
Nikolai is unfazed by my intensity. “Everyone’s loyal ‘til they’re not.”
“Did you come here to backseat pakhan, or were you going to offer me a useful suggestion?”
“It’s about Alyssa.”
I have to clamp my molars together to stop from letting the twinge of emotion show on my face. Why do I feel like a live wire every time I hear her name? Three little syllables and I’m suddenly frothing at the mouth with the need to hear more—or to hear a whole hell of a lot less.
“Hear me out. I want her to see a therapist. Maybe it’ll help jog some of her memories, possibly get us some real information that will lead us to Polly.”
My first instinct is to say, Fuck that. Why the hell should I pay for a shrink to come help soothe Alyssa’s traumatized psyche? She did this shit to herself—and to me, to my sister, to my family, to my Bratva.
But… it’s a decent suggestion. Practical and plausible, so long as I leave the emotions out of it.
“Fine. Worth a shot.”
Nikolai nods with satisfaction and pulls out his phone. “I can give Katina a call. Heard she’s dabbling in hypnosis, too. Maybe we can give that a try if all else fails.”
Truth be told, I could go for some of that. Have Katina wave a dangling pocket watch in my face and bewitch me until I forget all about the little narushitel in the Garfield panties.
But I’m barely concentrating anymore. My mind is preoccupied with the images I saw of Alyssa this morning on the monitor. She had gone into the bathroom and when she came out, she was wearing nothing but a towel. It wasn’t until she plucked it off that you could tell she was pregnant. Her tiny little belly betraying the fact that she has two of my babies inside her.
Hypnotize me out of that shit, too—because as it turns out, it’s a big turn-on.
With everything that’s happening, I shouldn’t even be able to get hard right now. Especially not for her.
“I was hoping to run something else by you,” Nikolai says, breaking up an unwelcome parade of thoughts about licking Alyssa between her thighs while gazing up at her pregnant belly.
I rub my temples preemptively. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this?”
Again, Nikolai is unfazed. “Those babies need fresh air, Uri. Alyssa’s been trapped down there long enough. Give her freedom of the house, of the grounds. She’s not going to run. I’ll make sure the security around the estate is tight.”
I wave my hand in the air. “Fine. Whatever.”
“‘Fine’? Just like that? You’re okay with it?”
He’d need a team of wild horses to drag this truth out of me, but in reality, this decision is entirely selfish on my part. Keeping her locked in the basement makes it harder for me to see her whenever I want to. It’s not like I can “accidentally” run into her down there unless I trip and fall down two flights of stairs.
And the monitor is just not cutting it anymore.
I grit my teeth and try to focus on something other than Alyssa. There may be a chance that I’m thinking way too much about this.
At this point, I can only hope she’s a hypnotist in her own right. A clever, manipulative puppet master who’s got me under her spell.
It’s easier to accept than the alternative.
That I may just be that weak.