“Twins,” I repeat again, looking once more towards the screen. I can see the tiny little peanuts floating around in my belly. “Twins, Ziva.”
I grab my Z link again. It’s probably silly but it feels like a sign. A sign that I’m not alone. That Ziva is here with me—guiding me, helping me, protecting me. I’m not completely alone, even if it feels that way more often than not.
I turn towards Uri, excited to see his reaction. But all my joy curdles in my chest when I notice the deadpan scowl on his face. It’s utterly emotionless. He may as well have been told that his brake pads need to be changed.
“Thank you, Doctor,” he rumbles at last before gesturing to his men to help the doctor pack away his equipment. “We can wrap this up.”
It takes everything I have in me not to bury my face in the pillow and scream.
Before he leaves, Dr. Grigory prescribes some prenatal vitamins for me, as well as medication to help with the nausea. He makes me promise to eat well and drink lots of water and then he leaves with a crisp parting nod.
The security follows, hauling out the equipment the exact same way they hauled it in. I look up, hoping to catch Uri’s eye—but he doesn’t so much as glance at me before the door shuts in my face.
The complete lack of reaction from him leaves me feeling cold and restless. Had he been hoping that I wasn’t pregnant?
Of course he was. No man wants to have a baby with the woman who accidentally caused his sister to be sold into sex slavery. But some na?ve part of me actually believed he would be happy.
Idiot.
I lie back down in bed and stare up at the ceiling. A couple of stray tears squeeze out of my eyes but I wipe them away quickly.
I can’t let my happiness be dictated by his. It’s pretty clear that despite these babies, our futures are on separate paths, veering away from each other.
That’s okay. I’ll be happy about these babies all on my own if I have to be.
But even as I try to convince myself of that, the worry still nags in the back of my head. Even if Polly is found, will he forgive me? What if Polly is never found? What then? Will he grow to hate his own children like he hates me?
I don’t know anymore.
I don’t know anything.
12
URI
Twins.
In six months, I’m going to have two children.
It’s a mindfuck, but in the best possible way. I just wish I could enjoy it properly. Without all the stress and worry and fear. If only Polly was here and safe, then I could celebrate this news the way it deserves to be celebrated: with fireworks and champagne and the heads of anyone who’s ever dared to threaten my family posted up on spikes in the front yard.
The moment Dr. Grigory has driven away, I head into my office and start pacing. It takes a few circuits around my office before I start to process everything that’s just been confirmed.
I’m going to be a father. I genuinely thought this moment would happen years down the line—but now that it’s upon me, I feel ready. This is a chance for me to redeem myself. This is a second chance for all of us.
And by all of us, I mean my family.
Alyssa is not part of that.
She can’t be. She doesn’t qualify. Not after her part in Polly’s abduction. She may be the mother of my children, but that’s where it ends. There’s no way I can trust her again after this, and that quashes any kind of future we might have had together.
But fuck me… there’s still that aching voice in my head that wants it.
That’s why I’m pacing. The war between what I have and what I don’t. What I want and what I can never allow myself to acknowledge.
My head is not on completely straight before I pick up my cell and call Nikolai.
“I still haven’t found anything, brother. I told you I’d call if—”
“I’m not calling about that.”
Nikolai falls silent for a moment. “You sound weird. Is everything alright?”
“I just had Dr. Grigory come in to examine Alyssa.”
“Grigory hasn’t retired yet? What happened to Emily?”
“She was getting a little too close to Alyssa,” I explain impatiently. “That and the fact that she didn’t tell me about Alyssa’s condition.”
“What condition?”
“Alyssa’s pregnant.” I’m met with stunned silence on the other line. It makes me wish I’d waited to tell him the news in person. “Nikolai? Did you hear me?”
“I heard you,” he says softly. “Is this… is this for real?”
“Grigory just confirmed it. I saw the ultrasound and everything.”
“You saw the baby?”
“Babies,” I correct. “I’m gonna be a father to twins.”
“My fucking God!” Nikolai exclaims. “Are you serious? You are. You’re serious. I’ll be damned… Is this good news or bad news?”
“In a vacuum, it’s good news.”
I hear Nikolai take a low breath. “Well then, shit—congratulations, man.”
“I need you to keep an eye on her. Make sure she sleeps properly, eats well. It shouldn’t be a problem… since you’ve already been doing that.” The bitterness edges into my voice more than I would’ve liked. “My only concern is that those babies are born healthy. Then I can deal with Alyssa.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“That’s my concern, not yours.”
“Uri, c’mon, brother. She’s not just your neighbor now; she’s the mother of your children. Don’t you think you’re being a little too harsh on her?”
“No,” I growl. “I haven’t even begun to be too harsh on her.”
A smarter man would take my tone as warning aplenty—but not my brother. “This is not her fault, Uri. She was trapped in that basement for weeks. Of course she was going to try to escape when she had the chance. She had no idea if she could trust you.”
“Is that what she told you?” I demand. “During one of your cozy little basement chats?”
“Fuck off, brat. You’re being a child.”
I should have waited until we were face-to-face to have this conversation. Then I could have punched him in the mouth. “And you’re being a fool. Don’t think she isn’t using you the same way she used Lev and Polly.”
“I’m just trying to—”
“Don’t. When I need advice about women, I’ll ask. Until then, stay out of my business.”
Goddammit. My previous happiness about finding out I was going to be a father has just melted into a whole lot of complicated. How is it that I’ve become the bad guy in all this?
What is it with that little narushitel? What kind of spellbinding charm does she have that she’s managed to win over every single member of my family? Lev and Polly, I can understand. Lev’s vulnerable. And Polly’s craved a female role model since our mother died.
But Nikolai? He ought to know better.
I drop down at my desk and try to breathe out the rage circulating through me like poison. I glance at the monitors that I’ve ignored since the moment Alyssa came back to the basement. My discipline has been on point all this time. No breaks. No lapses. No moments of weakness.
But in a matter of seconds—it crumbles.