I get the feeling that the kiss we shared in the basement might be the reason he’s being so brusque with me right now. Maybe I’d gotten a little too close. A little too vulnerable.
“I’ll leave you now,” he says with a weird, stiff formality.
“But you won’t lock the door, right?”
The corner of his mouth edges up and he makes a show of leaving it halfway open. It’s not total freedom.
But it’s something.
And boy, is it something!
After almost a week in that basement, freedom of the house feels like America after a lifetime in a Siberian prison camp.
I can breathe again!
I can feel the sunlight on my skin again!
I can touch the grass underneath my feet again!
My first day of freedom is spent lying on the rolling green lawn like I’m starring in a Sound of Music remake, gazing up at the sky and counting clouds and humming under my breath.
At some point, I sit up and realize that the living room blinds are drawn back. There’s a ripple on the side and Lev’s face pops up for a second. He catches sight of me, his eyes go wide, and then he disappears as fast as he came.
Smiling, I peel myself off the lawn and walk barefoot back into the living room. Lev is crouching by the edge of the windows, making no secret of the fact that he was spying on me.
Something he has in common with his big brother.
“Hey, Lev!”
He flinches, his body curving inwards. He looks like he wants to make himself smaller. I approach him carefully, making sure to keep the sofa between us. “I’m glad to see you again.”
He swallows. “Why?”
“Because I enjoyed spending time with you.”
He blushes red. “Why aren’t you in the basement?”
“Your brother agreed to let me out for a breather. I was missing the sun.”
“I hate the sun. It’s too bright.”
“It’s life-giving, Lev. If it weren’t for the sun, it’d be dark and cold and scary all the time.” I inch towards him a little, watching his face the whole time to see if I tread too close. “But I’ve seen you go outside sometimes. When you play football with Uri.”
“It’s our quality time,” he recites in a mumble.
I smile. Something about big, scary Uri inviting his younger brother out for “quality time” makes me feel all warm and squiggly inside. “Would you like to come outside right now and spend some quality time with me?”
He stiffens instantly and his gaze darts towards the closed blinds. “Now?”
“I’ll tell you what: we can make a happy compromise. We’ll find a blanket and I’ll put it under the big tree in the corner so you’re not directly under the sun. How’s that?”
He peeks out from behind the blinds before he turns in my general direction. He’s still not eager to make eye contact but at least he’s not as anxious as he was the first time I met him. “I dunno.”
“We can have lunch outside on the lawn, too, if you’d like.”
His eyes bug out. “Lunch? Outside?”
“Why not? It’ll be fun.” He’s pulling at the edges of his t-shirt and there’s a slight rocking motion in the way he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. I have to caution myself about pushing him too much. We just met, after all. “But if you would rather not, I’ll understand.”
He wrings his t-shirt in his fists as his gaze flickers about the room uncertainly. “I like… quality time,” he says at last.
Be cool, Alyssa, be cool.
“Oh, Lev, that makes me so happy. Thank you!”
He gives me another small blush. “I want cornflakes for lunch.”
“I’ll do my best. Come on, let’s go to the kitchen and see what we can rustle up.”
I have to scoot a little closer to him to get to the doorway. He presses himself against the wall as though he’s terrified to touch me. I wonder if that will get better with time or if he’s always going to be as nervous of me every time we’re close together.
The kitchen is empty when we go in. It’s also ginormous. There’s a large pantry stocked to the nines and a walk-in freezer about the size of my first apartment. As it turns out, Lev is just as overwhelmed as I am. Every time I ask him where something is, he just shrugs or grunts noncommittally.
Then I hear the sound of confident footsteps and I know instinctively who’s coming.
“Lev, what are you—” Uri stops short when he sees me standing in front of the pantry. “Oh.” He clears his throat. “You two hungry?”
“Actually, Lev and I were gonna prepare a picnic lunch.”
Lev takes a step towards Uri and puffs his chest out. “Outside,” he adds proudly.
This is the first time I’ve seen the brothers interact up close. I’m fully aware I’m gawking.
“You sure, buddy?” Uri asks, clapping Lev on the shoulder.
“Uh-huh.” He nods vigorously, his eyes never leaving Uri’s. And I get it—he wants his big brother’s approval. He wants to make Uri proud.
None of that explains why I’m about to bawl like an idiot just watching it.
“But—” Lev’s voice dips low. “—can you come, too?”
My heart shivers. It’s so sweet and vulnerable the way he asks. Somehow, it’s even more endearing coming from a man only a few inches shorter than Uri himself.
Uri answers right away. “Of course.” He glances at me right after, though, and I wonder if he’s doing this purely for Lev. Or if maybe, just maybe, I’m part of the reason, too?
Don’t be an idiot.
“Then you can help me figure out where everything is,” I interject, “because this kitchen is a maze.”
Twenty minutes later, the three of us are sitting on a picnic blanket underneath the huge oak tree on the south-facing lawn. Lev is pressed up against the trunk, his legs pulled up to his chest and his eyes darting around at every squirrel and crow that passes within a quarter-mile of us. It’s not quite the relaxed picnic vibe I was going for, but I’m hoping that he’ll ease into it the longer we sit out here. He certainly seems a little calmer when he’s eating his cornflakes.
“How about a sandwich after you’re done with that?” Uri asks.
“No.”
“Brat, you have physical therapy in an hour. You’ll need the strength.”
“No.”
Uri drops it. At no point do I detect even a hint of impatience or annoyance. “Okay, I’ll make sure to keep some snacks ready after you’re done with therapy, okay?”
Lev ignores that completely and keeps eating.
How is it that a man I used to think of as rude, unapproachable, superior, even brutish can be so damn… kind? So compassionate and patient and caring?
We eat in companionable silence. Lev never loses that jumpy, nervous quality through the lunch and because of it, I can’t quite relax, either. I’m stumped as to how Uri can lie there, looking like a GQ model, completely unbothered, completely at ease.
Because this is his life. Day in, day out—he will never stop being Lev’s caretaker.
That’s probably the moment I realize that, where Uri is concerned…
I’m in big trouble.
27
ALYSSA