He sighs and his brows furrow. He looks disappointed. “Let’s just say I wasn’t always so patient with Lev. But—he’s alive. At least we didn’t lose him, too. That’s all that matters. That’s what I remind myself.”
My body angles towards him, drawn to the sadness on his face. I know that feeling; I can relate to that feeling. “It must have been hard to lose the brother you knew.”
“That’s exactly what it was. He was alive, but still… It felt like the boy he used to be was gone forever. He may have survived the crash but I mourned Lev as much as I mourned my parents.”
“Mourning,” I whisper. “It’s strange, isn’t it? To be left with all these thoughts and memories and feelings of this person you’ll never see again. This person who was stamped all over your life and then suddenly—”
“You’re alone.”
I nod. “You can’t reach them.”
“And you know that you have to either sink or swim all on your own now.”
I nod again, a tiny part of my brain registering that his face seems to be getting closer to mine. And my body is pulling closer to his.
My eyes flutter, ready to be shut. We shouldn’t be doing this but—
Ping. Ping. Ping.
We jerk apart violently and Uri looks down at his phone. Which I’m grateful for, because my cheeks are burning up and I can’t take much more of this tiptoeing ever closer to the line we cannot, should not, will not cross.
Then he bounds to his feet, his eyes never once flickering to me. “I have to go.”
From the look on his face, it’s obviously urgent. Or maybe he’s just relieved that the text message came at the exact right time to stop us from going too far. He turns and jogs back to the house.
And I sit there, waiting for the relief to hit me.
But… nope.
No such luck.
28
URI
“We have to act now, Uri! There’s no fucking way we can leave this unanswered.”
Nikolai’s nostrils are flared, his eyes wide with indignation, his face blotchy with fury. He keeps waving the letter in my face as though that helps his case.
I cross my arms and fix him with a pointed stare. “Isn’t there?”
Nikolai balks, his eyes bugging out even further. Gritting his teeth, he smooths out the paper, holds it up to his face, and starts reading loudly.
“‘Ax the upcoming takedown—”
“For fuck’s sake, Niko, I read the goddamn note—”
My brother only reads louder. “—you are planning on The Black Rose or else your man is dead!’” He glares at me. “It’s signed by Sobakin.”
“As I said, I saw the damn letter. And I can read. So I don’t need you reciting it back to me.”
“Then why are you standing there acting as though it’s some silly prank? It’s got his seal on it and everything!”
If Niko wasn’t so sure that Igor’s life was still hanging in the balance, I’d have rolled my eyes. “His seal doesn’t have the power to make me shit my pants.”
Nikolai narrows his eyes. “What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything; I’m saying it outright: you’re playing right into his hands.”
“Fuck you.”
I snatch the letter from Nikolai’s outstretched hand. “He sends us one threatening letter and I’m supposed to just crumble to sobbing pieces and do whatever he says?”
“He’ll kill Igor!”
“Don’t you get it?” At this point, I’m shouting, too. Nikolai is the only one who can still get a rise out of me. I used to think that was a good thing. “Igor’s already dead. And if by some miracle he’s not, then he’s as good as dead. Boris isn’t just gonna release him back to us because we ask nicely.”
“He might—if we give him what he wants.”
I grimace, forever shocked that two brothers born from the same two parents can be so different when it comes down to the wire. “And what precedent does that set, brat?”
“The precedent that we will not abandon our men.”
“No,” I growl. “It sets the precedent that all our men are vulnerable now, because the moment he takes one, we’ll cave and give him what he wants. He’s counting on us reacting to this move because if we do, he’ll keep pulling the strings and we’ll be reduced to his little dancing puppets.”
A sound escapes through Nikolai’s teeth, some cross between a growl, a hiss, and a retch. “I think you’re making a mistake.”
“You frequently do.”
He glares at me. Our eyes are pretty much the only thing we have in common at this point. That and our loyalty towards the Bratva. They just manifest in different ways.
“What’s happening with the girl?” he spits out.
I frown. “What girl?”
“The girl,” he spits. “The one in Lev’s basement.”
Right. That girl.
“She’s still here,” I mutter reluctantly. I have no desire to debate this with my brother but I can see he’s jonesing for a good argument.
“Are you serious? When are you going to start using your head and stop thinking with your dick?”
As much as I hate to admit it, that hits a nerve. I pull my lips back to bare my teeth. “The situation is under control.”
Nikolai shakes his head. “You need to think about Lev and Pol. You need to think about this Bratva above all else.”
That’s the thing about siblings—they know exactly which nerves to hit. “You think I don’t spend all my time thinking about this Bratva? This family?”
“I think you’ve been distracted lately.”
“The girl has nothing to do with it. I would never let anyone distract me from protecting Lev or Polina.”
Nikolai doesn’t say anything but he does purse his lips up in a way that makes me want to take a punch at his face.
“If anything else comes up, let me know,” I snarl before turning for the door.
Nikolai doesn’t stop me. I march straight to my car where it’s parked at the base of his sloping driveway. I put the Ferrari into reverse and rip out through his bronzed gates. It’s a two-minute drive to my estate, but I make a left instead of a right and dive into the adjoining neighborhood where the closest pharmacy is.
The woman at the counter doesn’t look up at me until I’m standing right in front of her. When she does, her eyes nearly bug out of her head. “Whoa!” she gasps. Her cheeks go bright pink, but it’s not nearly as endearing as it is when Alyssa blushes. “Y-you’re tall.”
She’s in her early thirties or so. Curly blonde hair, deep green eyes. A few weeks ago, I would have flirted, asked for her name, perhaps invited her to dinner. But right now, I have no desire to do any of those things.
I tell myself it’s because I have a pill to purchase and I’ve already left it too late.
I tell myself it has nothing to do with Alyssa.
“Plan B pill, please.”
“Oh. Er, of course.”
She scrambles to the back wall and hikes up a little stepladder to grab me a Plan B box. My eyes pass over her ass. She’s fit and attractive. And yet… I feel nothing.
No interest. No attraction. Not the slightest bit of craving.
“Here you go, sir.”
I pay and head back to my car. I can see the woman craning her head towards the windows as I drive away.