“I am not fucking your grandma. Honestly, I don’t think Beverly could fit me into the rotation. She has a lot of men coming around.” His tone is teasing, and I step away from him when it looks like he’s going to lean in. I’d rather my grandma not know about this particular poor life choice.
“Come on.” I head toward the house. “It feels like Satan’s asshole out here.”
He follows me into the house, where he’s already set up his podcasting equipment on the table. Grandma is on the couch, scrolling through her phone. She wears an old, faded T-shirt tucked into a full red skirt, and I marvel again at how much cooler my grandma is than I am.
“Is this now our designated interview spot?” I plop down in one of the chairs.
“It’s quiet. And Beverly doesn’t mind.” He smiles at her. I was only half kidding when I asked whether they were fucking.
“He likes that you’re more relaxed here,” Grandma says without looking up from her phone.
Ben appears startled, like that was something that Grandma inferred on her own.
I take it back. My grandmother is too smart to sleep with Ben Owens. It’s too bad common sense isn’t genetic.
“I was hoping we could delve deeper into your relationship with Nina today.” Ben slides into the seat next to me.
I sigh, looking past his head, out the window to the empty field behind the house. A breeze blows through the tall weeds. Ben looks over his shoulder and then back at me.
I haven’t told him about my conversation with Keaton and Emmett. He doesn’t know that Matt and Nina are still sleeping together.
I haven’t told Ben a lot of things about Nina.
“She yelled at me while I was holding a knife,” Savvy whispers in my ear. “She probably wouldn’t have done that if she knew all the fun things I’ve done with knives.”
I laughed when she said that to me. I can’t even remember exactly why Nina and Savvy didn’t like each other. I’m not even sure that anyone besides me knows how much they truly despised each other.
“Lucy?” Ben says.
Nina didn’t like Savvy. So what? I don’t like lots of people. It never seemed relevant.
It still probably isn’t relevant. And if I say it, I’m doing to Nina what they all did to me—making accusations that will haunt her forever. I should lie, or dance delicately about the truth, like the other people Ben has interviewed have done.
Because she couldn’t have done it. My brain isn’t letting that scenario even take shape in my head. I’ve imagined killing so many people, and yet I can’t put an object in Nina’s hand and watch her smash it against Savvy’s head.
“Hon?” Grandma touches my arm. She and Ben are hovering, looking at me with concern.
“I don’t want to,” I say softly.
The wrinkles around Grandma’s eyes crinkle as she squints at me. “You don’t want to what?”
“I don’t want to talk about Nina.”
“But she—” Ben starts.
“Can you just give me a day?” I push a hand through my hair. “Surely you have something else we can talk about today.” A text message pops up on my phone, and I angle the screen toward me so I can read it. My stomach drops to my feet. “Fuck.”
“What?” Grandma asks.
“The internet figured out that I’m Eva Knightley.”
Listen for the Lie Podcast with Ben Owens EPISODE 6—“NINA”
When I first reached out to her, Nina Garcia was hesitant to talk to me.
Nina:?????????????Yeah, I don’t know. I felt weird about it.
Ben:???????????????Weird?
Nina:?????????????Yeah, you know … this case has already gotten a lot of attention. Everyone knows that Lucy— Ben:???????????????Everyone knows that Lucy…?
Nina:?????????????Um. Everyone thinks that Lucy did it. But I was talking to Emmett—you know Emmett, right? Me and Lucy and him were all best friends in high school?
Ben:???????????????Yeah, we’ve talked.
Nina:?????????????He thought I should. I just feel bad because I like … I didn’t really even know Savvy.
Ben:???????????????You two went to high school together. In a pretty small town.
Nina:?????????????Sure, but we didn’t like … hang out.
Ben:???????????????Okay. But you knew Lucy well. This podcast is as much about her as it is about Savannah. And I’ve heard you know Matt fairly well?
Nina:?????????????I mean, a little, I guess. We’re friendly.
Ben:???????????????Why don’t we start at the beginning. What was Lucy like— Nina:?????????????I’m sorry, can we stop for a minute?
Ben:???????????????Why?
Nina:?????????????I just … I need a minute.
Nina was frequently nervous in our interviews, which isn’t unusual. Talking about the murder of someone you knew—even just casually—is difficult. I know this.
But when I began going through her interviews, I found some inconsistencies. Here’s Stephanie Gantz again.
Ben:???????????????I found this yearbook photo. Of Nina and Savannah?
Stephanie:?????Oh yeah, that’s junior year, I think?
Ben:???????????????They were on student council together?
Stephanie:?????Yeah.
Ben:???????????????I’ve heard they didn’t really know each other.
Stephanie:?????I wouldn’t say that. They weren’t friends. I think they fought over a boy once, like freshman year? Ugh. I hate that, but we were young. The feminism hadn’t kicked in yet.
Ben:???????????????Sure. So, they didn’t like each other, then?
Stephanie:?????It wasn’t anything dramatic by that point, but no, not really.
Ben:???????????????By that point?
Stephanie:?????There was definitely some drama freshman year.
Ben:???????????????What kind of drama?
Stephanie:?????Just … like I said, there was a boy. I think Savvy … I think she sort of mean-girled Nina a bit. It blew over, and Savvy wasn’t like that at all later, but, you know. We were fourteen.
Ben:???????????????Did Lucy know there was history with Nina and Savannah?
Stephanie:?????She must have. Nina was her best friend back then.
Ben:???????????????Did you think it was weird, when Lucy became such good friends with Savannah later?
Stephanie:?????Nah, we were all adults by that point. If you’re going to hold grudges about things from when you were a kid, you’re gonna spend your whole life angry, you know?
Ben:???????????????Do you know how Nina felt about it?
Stephanie:?????Uh … she might have said something catty about it.
Ben:???????????????So Nina was holding grudges from when she was a kid?
Stephanie:?????Maybe. Yeah.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
LUCY
It only takes a couple of hours for the reviews of all three of my books to be flooded with people calling me a murderer. Now, when you scroll down to read what people think of my fluffy fake-dating rom-com, the first thing you see is “THIS IS WRITTEN BY LUCY CHASE, THE WOMAN WHO MURDERED HER BEST FRIEND.”
So, that’s unfortunate.
Ben gives me a worried look as I leave my grandma’s house after the interview, but I don’t have the energy to deal with his feelings right now. Technically, this is all his fault.
Several times I imagine mowing him down with my car. I feel like I deserve credit for not doing it.
I drive straight to Nina’s house. I’m showing up unannounced, which is a real dick move, especially since she has kids, but I’ve lost all my fucks. I have no more to give.
She answers the door with a rightfully annoyed expression. This is what she gets for inviting me over. There are real benefits to not letting me know where you live.
She’s in sweats, her hair up in a haphazard ponytail with a giant piece sticking up in the middle. She rests her head against the side of the door, like even standing here is too much effort.
“I’ve had a really shitty day, Lucy,” she says.
“I know you two were like BFFs in high school, but I swear to god, that woman is such a stuck-up bitch,” Savvy rudely declares in my head. I’d pushed back a little on that one. Told her that Nina came off as aloof sometimes, but she was actually very nice.
“Well, I’ve had a shitty five years, so how about you give me ten minutes?” I counter.
She sighs, glancing over her shoulder to where an animated show is playing on the television, the kids on the couch in front of it. She steps out onto the porch, closing the door behind her.
“I’m not doing another interview with Ben,” she said. “I texted him no a few hours ago.”
“Smart choice.”