Once I’m inside the stall, I lock the door and lean against it to catch my breath.
It’s all going to be okay. I’ve survived worse states of mind, so why does this one feel fundamentally different?
Cheerful female voices reach me from outside, then disappear. So I open the door and force a brave fa?ade.
The moment I step out, a hand wraps around my throat and shoves me back inside the tiny stall.
My back hits the flimsy wooden separator with a thwack as a tall frame looms over me with the horrifying aura of the Grim Reaper.
It’s insane how someone’s presence can take the form of a hurricane, but that’s exactly what I feel as I stare into Landon’s darkened eyes. There’s no trace of his permanent taunting smirk, as if he’s done pretending to be the charming god whose altar everyone worships at.
Right now, he looks nothing short of a beast who’s out for mayhem.
He kicks the door closed and slams his other hand beside my head. The thwack reverberates at the base of my belly as he imprisons me in his grip.
“Hi, muse. Miss me?”
I plant a hand on his chest and attempt to push him. All of a sudden, his firm yet loose hand on my throat tightens. The breath rushes out of my lungs in one whoosh and tears form at the corners of my eyes. I claw at the collar of his shirt, scratching the skin in a desperate effort to remove his grip.
Landon, however, doesn’t waver. Not even a little. Not even close. “Don’t fight me, Mia. Not when I’m so close to fucking you all up.”
Slowly, and against my better judgment, I drop my hand from his chest and stare at his monstrous face through my blurry vision. He means it, and I know that not only is it futile to fight, but if I do, I’ll also provoke his uglier side.
His fingers ease on my throat, but they’re not completely gone. “You’re intelligent enough to recognize my beast’s cues, so whatever gave you the impression that blocking and ignoring me was such a brilliant idea?”
I lift my shaky hands and sign, “I told you. I’m bored.”
“Nonsense.”
“I don’t want you anymore.”
“More fucking nonsense.”
“It’s not my problem that your ego is bigger than the earth and can’t take the reality.”
“What reality?”
“The fact that you’re not all that. I got a taste and the high only lasted for so long.” I glare at him, then shoot him his favorite sardonic smirk. “I’m fucking bored.”
It’s one moment, a fraction of a second in time, but I think I catch the subtle clenching in his jaw. The dark blue of his eyes morphs into a bottomless ocean where thousands of ships would meet their demise.
I’m not sure if I’m the ship or the storm that’s sinking it to the bottom. Maybe I’m both.
“The fucks I have to give about your feelings are nonexistent.”
“And yet you’re acting as clingy as a desperate ex.”
“Mia…don’t push it. You’re starting to piss me the fuck off.”
“Oh my. I’d be affected if I could care less.” I push him again. “As I said in that text, we’re done, Landon. Go find yourself another toy.”
“I never agreed to that and, therefore, it’s not happening.”
“You know what? This is your problem. You’re so conceited and up your own ass that you don’t even notice when others are bothered, suffocated, or completely miserable due to your presence and actions. You don’t care about the well-being of people close to you and even go out of your way to hurt them and sabotage their lives just because they happen to cross your path. If you look up the word asshole in the dictionary, you’ll find your picture on it.”
“Are you certain the word asshole is in the dictionary?” he delivers with unbothered calm.
“Is that all you heard from what I was saying?”
“Was I supposed to hear something else? Pretentiousness laced with a sense of victimization, perhaps?” He pushes his thumb against the pulse point in my throat. “Don’t act as if I forced you into anything, Mia. You begged for my cock on your fucking knees before you proceeded to choke on it. You ran so I’d chase you. You fought me so I’d wrestle you down. Spoiler alert, just because you pretend it was all me doesn’t take away your share of responsibility.”
“I’m not you. I take full responsibility for my actions. I admit that I made a mistake in falling into your trap, which is why I’m rectifying it. Let me go, Landon. Unless you’re ready to force me and unavoidably get your throat slit.”
The corner of his lips pulls in one of his taunting smirks. “You think the prospect of a slit throat would stop me?”
“No. But the possibility of losing my fight would. You want me because I challenge you every step of the way. I make you work for that fuck, unlike many of your previous dolls who opened their legs or dropped to their knees willingly. You reach a climax because, as you previously stated, I’m difficult. What you didn’t say is that you can only feel alive when there’s a certain level of provocation or defiance. You’re so empty inside that you need chaos to feel alive. You’re so emotionally stunted that anarchy has become the soul of all your relationships. So if you’re in the mood, go ahead and force me, Landon. I’ll become as lifeless as your countless statues until I get the chance to kill you.”
There, psycho. You think you’re the only one who’s perceptive about others?
I lift my chin, waiting for the smirk to be wiped off his face. My spine jerks when not only does it stay in place, but it also widens, so much so that he looks like a demon lord on his way to a war.
My body tightens, ready for a spar, though I really can’t take anything physical right now. Despite my big talk, I’m still not immune to his touch. Hell, the place where his fingers spread burns and sends a rush of tingles throughout my starved body.
I expect him to push further, to taunt and ridicule me with his brand of sarcasm, as is the norm for the asshole. However, he swiftly and easily releases me and even steps back, allowing me my first breath without his intoxicating scent and overpowering presence.
“You want me to let you go? There, I let you go.”
I stare at him, not believing what I just heard. Is Landon giving up? That’s just unfathomable. I expected resistance. Hell, I thought I’d be in this limbo for a while before he finally got bored and gave up.
I also thought he’d go the brute route and try to keep me by force or threaten me as he’s done countless times before.
This completely unbothered version was never, not even for one second, on my list of expectations.
“Mia?” Maya's voice filters in from somewhere outside. “What’s taking you so long?”
“Go,” he whispers with that smirk still in place. “Run, muse. Try to hide. If you let me catch you again, I’ll fuck up your barely put-together life.”
My spine jerks and my fight-or-flight response surges to the surface in one overpowering go. I’ve always opted for a fight, even when I was an underdog and could be beaten to death.
The only exception is when I’m faced with Landon. I can’t fight. If I do, I’ll just slide back into his trap.
And he looks absolutely venomous and positively ravenous for another bite of my flesh.
I don’t give him that.
With one last look at his taunting grin and clenching jaw, I pull the door open and do what I should’ve done the first time I met him.
I run.
My birthday has always been a weird event. One, I’ve never really liked to be the center of attention, and that situation can turn from mildly weird to full-blown awkward.