When he turns around, he seems more like himself, and this time, he looks at me, like really looks at me, and instantly, his lips purse with disapproval. “Were you fighting again?”
I make an affirmative sound, not bothering to use my state as an excuse for him to touch me.
There’s something wrong with him, and the more he hides it, the clearer I see it. But if I ask him about it outright, he’ll just deflect and retreat behind his high walls. Or worse, he’ll revert back to his old habits and run away.
But I can’t take this anymore. I can’t watch him break in silence and do nothing.
Bran glides wet wipes over his hands, cleaning away the black paint, then walks to me, clutches me by the jaw, and rotates my head from left to right. “You seriously need to stop fighting. One day, you’ll really get hurt. You’re not immortal.”
He presses his finger against a bruise on my jaw and I wince.
“Does it hurt?” he asks with a note of concern that he obviously doesn’t have for himself.
“If I say yes, will you kiss it better?”
“I give up.” He releases me with a sigh. “I’ll go get the first aid kit.”
“I’ll do it myself. I need a bath anyway.” I walk to the entrance and glance back.
Bran watches me with a wretched expression, his body is angled my way like every time we’re in public, and then he opens his mouth, but just like all those times, he closes it again.
“You have something to tell me, baby?”
I expect something. Anything, but he shakes his head. “I will…clean up and fix dinner.”
I say nothing as I storm out and into the bathroom. I should be used to his methods at this point, but I don’t like it.
The whole fucking thing is making my skin crawl.
I sit in the Jacuzzi for what seems like forever, but it must be like half an hour. The bubbles echo around me, but there’s nothing relaxing about them, so I turn them off to think in silence.
My mind fills with thoughts about the reason behind Bran’s state from earlier, but no matter how much I think about it, I come up empty.
With a sigh, I lean back and grab my phone from the side of the tub and check my texts, mostly from the group chat with the guys.
Killian
Where are you, Niko?
Jeremy
He’s busy. Let him be.
Gareth
Niko busy? And you’re not there to keep him in check?
Jeremy
Let’s say he doesn’t need my services with his recent endeavors.
Killian
It’s the ED situation, isn’t it?
Gareth
Kill, the fuck? He’ll just flood the group chat with dick pics.
Me
Kolya says hi, motherfuckers.
I send one just to fuck with them.
The door opens and I look up to find Bran standing in the entrance. He’s changed into flannel pajama pants and a white T-shirt, looking like a Christmas present.
“I…wanted to make sure you weren’t meditating in the water.”
“I’m not.” I close my eyes and lean my head against the cushion.
No idea why, but I’m mad. It’s not the first time he’s hid himself from me, but I’ve never seen him in that state, either.
The fact that he refuses to let me in even though I’m a damn open book is messing with my fucking head.
I really, really hate fucking complicated.
Movement echoes around me and I remain still, vehement about trying to ignore him for once.
The splashing of water forces me to open my eyes just in time to see Bran climbing into the bath, entirely naked.
“What are you doing?”
“You always ask me to join you. Is it different this time?” he asks even as he sits down and stretches his legs out on either side of me.
“Do what you want.” I try to sound unaffected, which is hard when he looks so stunningly beautiful.
At this point, it’s safe to say I’ve learned every ridge of his muscles and where his moles are—upper left shoulder, above his right hip, behind his right knee, on his left knee, and just beneath his jaw.
Not that I’m obsessive or anything.
He nudges my thigh with his foot. “Are you mad at me or something?”
“What gave you that idea?”
“You’re not jumping my bones, for one.” He smiles, but it’s forced. “Are you losing interest?”
“Are you?”
“No.”
“Hmm.”
He’s silent for a second. “What’s this about? Is it because I told you to stop fighting?”
“I won’t do that.”
“I can tell.”
“As soon as your cousin Creighton comes back to school, I’ll bloody his face, not because of what happened to me, but because he dared to punch you that day. I’ll also fight your precious psycho brother and beat him to a fucking pulp, so you better mentally prepare yourself.”
He gulps, his throat bobbing up and down. “Don’t do that…please.”
“What are you willing to do to stop me?”
“What do you want?”
“Tell me what happened when I got here, and don’t say it was an accident or it was nothing, because I don’t buy that bullshit.”
His face pales and he goes still, his chest rising and falling in a fast rhythm before he breathes slower. “It’s…really nothing.”
“We’re done here. Get the fuck out and leave me alone.”
Bran’s lips part as he blinks at me. So, no, I’ve never really spoken to him in that tone. I always clown around when he’s his grumpy, uptight self, but I’m just sick of this.
I can’t help thinking about what Jeremy said, and it’s messing with my head.
“Nikolai…” Water splashes as he scoots over so that he’s kneeling between my legs and then wraps his arms around my neck.
I meet his wide blue eyes, and for the first time, I don’t soften at the mere view of his face or the heat radiating from his body.
For the first time, I don’t melt into a puddle just because he’s saying my name or touching me.
“Get out.”
He shakes his head and tightens his grip. “I’m sorry.”
“Why the fuck do you keep apologizing as a knee-jerk reaction? It’s fucking pathetic.”
He flinches and drops his arms to either side of him. “I’ll…just leave.”
“Go right ahead. Run away like you do best.”
“What the hell do you expect from me? I try to make it up to you and you lash out. I’ve done nothing to be spoken to in that tone.”
“Nothing? You’re literally hiding me away like I’m your dirty fucking secret. Like you’re ashamed of being with me in front of your precious friends and family, and on top of that, you’re concealing yourself from me. You call that fucking nothing?”
“You said you were okay with it.”
“Maybe I’m not anymore.”
His lips tremble. “Are you…leaving me again?”
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
“I wouldn’t! I wouldn’t love it!” His voice rises and his hand shakes as he looks at me with eyes so fucking sad, it pulls on the heart I’m supposed to be hardening. “Don’t leave me.”
“Then give me something. Anything. I won’t be kept outside your walls. That’s not how this fucking works.”
“Why would you want to learn about me?” He pulls on his hair, fingers tugging until his face is all red. “Just why?”