“And that’s why my sisters and I will be donating her entire estate to a reparations fund. We must heal the original American sin that’s been continually recycled in different forms, even today.” Elise paused for a second to gauge the reaction, but there was only dead silence now. Unsure if this was indicative of real interest or shock—or both—she rushed to continue as the production assistant signaled for her to wrap it up. She figured she’d been granted some grace, considering the topic and the Academy’s recent diversity issues.
“Slavery is only the beginning of our grievances. Reconstruction was thwarted; then came sharecropping, then Jim Crow, the civil rights movement—and even still, Black Americans can’t live in certain areas, go to certain schools, get certain jobs, earn the same pay. And all the while, wealth has been building, growing for the people who have always had it. But we don’t want revenge,” Elise said. “We want what’s owed.”
Elise heard cheers, and some boos, as her stage went dark and the host rushed out onto the second stage with a half-done tie. Improvising, he loosened it more and swung it around his neck for a laugh. Uncomfortable silence followed and Elise hesitated at the microphone. She started to scold him but didn’t want the gravity of her speech eclipsed by her reaction to the comedian’s crude gesture. She exited behind the curtain as production assistants ran around the auditorium with the anxious encouragement of the audience.
Backstage, cameras and production crew trailed Elise to the loading dock, where Andy allowed only one photo with the trophy. Into the live-feed camera, she directed viewers to the website she had quietly created for information.
She walked out of the back door into another flare of camera flashes and yells. Knowing there was no escape, she stepped toward the chaos, into the light, ready to answer all of their questions. She had heard about all the risks, everyone’s concerns. More rumors would circulate. There were probably tax implications she didn’t even know of. The whole thing could come crashing down before one dime was ever given out. But Elise had decided weeks ago to let the chips fall where they may—to wing it. She figured the details would work themselves out. That was the American way.
Acknowledgments
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the support and love I’ve received around this book. It’s been in me for as long as I can remember. To anyone who has ever uttered a word about it, thank you.
To my grandmothers, Mamie and Magdalene, and my great-grandmother Nellie, knowing you was an honor. I strive only to exceed your wildest dreams.
To my parents, your skills are top-notch. Thanks for instilling education and showing me what hard work, dedication, and sacrifice look like. I hope to return what you’ve poured into me, tenfold. Thank you for the freedom to be me.
To Christopher, the true witness of the crime. We’ve journeyed each stage of our individual creative passions together. Guess we’re both rebels. Thank you for supporting “writer mode”—the good, glorious, bad, and the ugly—and for always being able to see beyond the fray to the big picture.
To Brian, always my voice of reason and the best big brother. To my nephew, Jason, and nieces, Emily and Millicent: always dream big.
To all twelve of my aunties, you’ve always been my inspiration. Thank you for the love, the lessons, your loyalty, and for giving up on me leaving the room.
To my larger extended family on all sides, thank you, I love you.
To Tracey Evans, Corinne Edelin, Belinda Daughrity, Raechal Shewfelt, Kamillah Clayton, Zach Ehren, Dee Horne, and my parents for ever reading a draft.
To Lauren Shands, Danielle Combes, Takkara Brunson, Emily and Maurice Rodgers, Kalia Booker, Love Muwwakkil, Jasmin Ratansi, and Natalia Sagar for the encouragement, forcing me to have fun, and never asking me why.
To my childhood friends and the Sessions for the storytelling.
To my Love of Learning family and my Spelman sisters for two of the best experiences of my life.
To Alka Sagar, Jill Feeney, Arin Scapa, Christina Soto, and the rest of my colleagues downtown, such a pleasure.
To Corey Mandell and Talton Wingate for helping me make sense of the pictures in my head.
To Catie Boerschlein, Kendall Hackett, Jessica Castro, and Matthew Schmidt, I’ve been lucky to share this journey with you.
To my agent, Latoya C. Smith, you’ve literally made my dream come true. Thank you for everything, every step of the way, and for loving this book.
To Retha Powers, my dream editor. Thank you for investing in these characters, this story, and my voice. I love writing even more thanks to you. Onwards! To Natalia Ruiz, Molly Lindley Pisani, and Molly Bloom for your insightful reads and comments. It was a delight to view it through your eyes.
To Amy Einhorn, Sarah Crichton, and everyone at Henry Holt, thank you for your vision, hard work, and love for this book.
About the Author
Crystal Smith Paul has led an eclectic career as a writer, editor, and paralegal for the United States Department of Justice. She attended Spelman College, UCLA’s School of Theater, Film and Television, and received her master’s in journalism from NYU. Her nonfiction writing has appeared in Salon, Jezebel, and HuffPost. She currently works in digital marketing for wellness and beauty brands, while spending her nights and weekends writing creatively and staying on top of pop culture. You can sign up for email updates here.