“You two always say you’re only friends, right? Like, no chem whatsoever…?”
“Right. Absolutely no chemistry,” I said, which was true. For the most part. There might’ve been a small workplace flirtation that elevated my blood pressure, but it’d already been established in my mind that it was nothing. NOTHING. Two humans that happened to stand close together, and body temps naturally increase in moments like that. It was science. And NOT the chemistry kind of science.
Still, that didn’t mean I wanted to embark upon a weekend full of awkward false affections. No, no thank you. I added, “I’m actually feeling queasy at the mere thought of me and Charlie.”
“So who cares, then? Fake date the hell out of him. Do you realize the amount of tension that can be added to the Breckenridge weekend if you show up holding hands with Charlie?”
Holding hands? That felt… dangerous somehow.
“Nekesa, dear, this is real life,” I said. “Not a Hallmark movie.” Fake dating happened in movies, not in the normal world. It was wild that this behavior was even being suggested, and especially by my practical friend Nekesa.
“Just do it,” she said, sniffling. “What do you have to lose?”
God, Scott would absolutely lose his shit. It could even ruin the whole trip for him, which the good part of me didn’t want but the desperate part of me did. “But couldn’t I add the tension without fake dating him? Not that I’m even considering this, but his presence alone would make things testy. I don’t think I’d need to pretend to be into him.”
“Bay, you know so little about men,” she said, finally sounding like herself again. “My little sweet baby.”
“Screw you,” I said around a laugh, mostly because she was right. I knew very little about men.
Except for Zack. I knew everything about him.
Nekesa laughed—and then sniffled again—before saying, “I just mean that your dad hasn’t been around since you’ve been old enough to date, so you’ve been spared male stupidity.”
Nekesa was being helpful and sweet, but her succinct summation of just how long my dad had been absent caused a pinching feeling in my sternum.
I swallowed and pictured my dad’s face. “I suppose that’s true.”
“There’s this primitive, cavemanish thing that happens to fathers when they see guys they don’t like around their daughters. They become like hissing cats, peeing on your sweaters.”
“I don’t. Even. What?”
“And even though Scott’s not your dad, since he already hates Charlie, Theo and I predict he will go full-on defecating-on-every-cardigan if he sees Chuckles holding your hand.”
So why did those words continue to make my stomach dip? Why did just imagining it feel like I was treading into deeper waters? Even if it wasn’t real.
But maybe more importantly—Nekesa and Theo had discussed me and Charlie? Had she brought it up, or had he? And why would Theo be weighing in at all?
“And don’t you think—even if his presence does nothing to forward the Scott agenda—that Charlie would be fun to vacation with? I mean, this is the guy who created Garbage Tether, a game that makes us fight for trash duty because it’s so fun. He makes you enjoy taking out the trash, Bay! He’d be a riot on a mountain retreat.”
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice rising an octave at the situation’s absurdity. “Why does it feel like you’re trying to set something up with me and Charlie?” My Spidey senses were tingling.
“That’s not it, Bay—trust me,” she said, and I could hear her little brother in the background. “I’m just trying to think of a way for the mountain weekend to still be good for you.”
“Hmm,” I mumbled, not sure I was buying it.
“And he really would be a blast on the road trip.”
She wasn’t wrong. As Charlie as he could be with his cynicism, he really was hilarious.
Hell, an entire house party had essentially broken out into applause at the sight of him.
I could hear Nekesa’s impatience growing. “Sooooo…?”
I took a big breath, the weight in my stomach getting heavier at the thought of this, at the realization that I was seriously considering this. Traveling with Charlie felt wildly intimate—regardless of what Nekesa said—and I wasn’t sure how to be casual about it.
“Soooo… for starters, I’m not sure I know how to ask him. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”
Honestly, if he said, Do you want to go to Colorado for the weekend with me and my family? I’d definitely be concerned that he was into me. And—God—I would hate it if he thought that.
I would die if he thought that.
Charlie wasn’t even comfortable calling me his friend. We were coworkers only in his mind, even though we both knew it was more than that, because that was the only way he could cope with the reality that his hypothesis was wrong.
“I’ve got you,” she said, sniffling again.
“And what does that mean?”
“Theo and I have… uh… actually been texting him in a group chat since we came up with the idea a half hour ago, so I think I can safely say he’ll respond well.”
“What? A half hour ago?” I sputtered. “How come you went to them with all of this before coming to me?”
“Because I know you, Miss Overreaction,” she said, and I could hear a smile in her voice. “I wanted to come up with a plan before I told you so you didn’t freak out about having to go with just Scott and your mom.”
“Nekesa!” My heart was hammering in my chest, panic rising. “Not cool!”
“It’s all done from love, my wonderful, sweet, oh-so-irresistible Bay.”
“Don’t try to compliment your way out of this,” I quickly snapped, but somewhere in the pit of my stomach I was thankful Nekesa broke the ice for me. Okay, so maybe she did know me. Too well.
“I have to get off the phone, but I’m adding you to the chat.”
“But do you—”
She had already hung up as my phone pinged from her text.
I looked down at the display as she sent me screenshots of their conversation.
The chain started with Nekesa texting—I can’t go to Breck—Bay is going to kill me.
After she explained what happened, and Theo tried making her feel better (catch up on your reading, troublemaker), Charlie texted—Bay’s gonna be devastated. You sure your parents won’t reconsider?
Something about his concern made me feel warm inside.
Nekesa: Positive
Charlie: So she’ll have to spend the trip with just her mom and Sock Boy. Fucking nightmare.
Nekesa: You should go in my place.
It felt surreal, reading their conversation; I felt like I was eavesdropping, even though I had permission.
Charlie: Dude hates me—try again.
I don’t know why, but it felt good that his initial response wasn’t something like No way.
Theo: Wait—that would totally amp the mom/boyfriend tension, tho, right?
Nekesa: YESSSSS OMG GO, AND FAKE DATE
Charlie: FAKE DATE. Are we in a fucking Hallmark movie?? How would that help?