A Fire in the Flesh (Flesh and Fire, #3)

So, I wasn’t.

I saw Ash’s lips moving and knew he was speaking, but that thing, the voice that had made a home for itself in the back of my mind, was firing off thoughts, one after another, leaving no room for a reprieve. It was my voice, and it was louder than Ash’s, even though I knew he’d never think of me in that way. Not him. Not after what he’d lived through. But that voice questioned if he still saw me as strong. Never truly afraid. Not weak. Not someone who needed to be handled like fragile, damaged, blown glass. Treated as if they were on the verge of shattering. And was that what I was now, for whatever short time I had left? My fingers turned numb.

The embers throbbed faintly in my chest as I forced myself to breathe in, but I couldn’t get my lungs to inflate. My wild gaze darted from him as I opened my mouth wider, trying to take in air, but it was thick and—

My chest rose, but I didn’t think it went back down. I couldn’t exhale. And that meant I couldn’t inhale. I couldn’t breathe— Ash’s eyes were suddenly level with mine. “Slow down.” Everything about him changed in an instant. His posture. The volume and cadence of his speech. “Slow your breathing down, liessa,” he ordered in that steady, soft way of his. “Listen to me.”

I didn’t understand what he was saying for a moment, and then it broke through the fog of panic creeping into my mind. It wasn’t that I couldn’t breathe. It was always that I breathed too fast, the breaths too quick and shallow.

“Press the tip of your tongue against the back of your upper teeth. Keep your mouth closed, and inhale through your nose, Sera.” His hand flattened against my upper chest, and the other splayed across my back as I did as he instructed. “Don’t exhale. Hold it for a count of four, remember? One. Two. Three. Four.”

Pulse racing, I counted as he used his hands to guide my shoulders back, straightening my spine. I hadn’t even realized I’d begun to curl in on myself.

“Now, exhale for the same count.” He did the same, exhaling for four seconds. “Keep going. Keep breathing with me.”

I mimicked him, forcing the air down my throat and into my lungs.

“That’s it.” He smiled, and my eyes pricked with tears. “You’ve got this, liessa.”

Something beautiful.

Something powerful.

“Now, inhale again through the nose. That’s good.” His eyes never left mine as he went through the motions until the tiny bursts of light faded from my vision and the trembling in my body receded. “One more deep breath, okay? Keep your tongue to your teeth. Hold for four.”

I did as he said, finally feeling as if my lungs were no longer being crushed. My chest loosened.

“Better?” he asked.

“Y-yeah,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “Yes. I’m…I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Sera. It’s okay.” He remained close, his hands on my upper chest and back, tracking my breaths. “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”

A faint shudder ran through me as I dragged in a deeper breath, catching hints of his citrus-and-fresh-air scent.

Ash watched me for several moments. “Still feeling better?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to five before reopening them. “I’m okay,” I stated, voice steadier, stronger. I lifted my gaze to him. The anxiety was still there, holed up inside me, still whispering that Ash and I wouldn’t be as we once were during whatever time I had left, be it days or hours—and I really didn’t think it was days. And the only way to shut the voice up was to prove it wrong. “Ash?”

“Yes?”

“If I asked you to touch me right now, would you?” My face was definitely on fire now. “If I asked you—”

“I will do anything you ask of me, Sera.” Silvery streaks of essence whipped through his eyes. “Anything.”

“If I asked you to touch me like you did the first time I bathed in your chamber, would you?” I insisted. “Would you kiss me—?”

Ash’s mouth was on mine before I could say another word, and…oh, gods, it was so apparent that he didn’t see me as a fragile piece of glass. Not with the way his lips moved against mine. There was nothing gentle about his kiss. It was all-consuming and relentless. His arm came around my waist as he stepped into me, sealing our bodies together as his head tilted. He deepened the kiss as the feel of his body overwhelmed my senses: the hard coolness of his chest, the strength of his thighs, and the hard, thick press of his cock against my belly. All I felt was desire—heady, heated desire. He parted my lips and thrust his tongue into my mouth. A shiver ran through me as I released my death grip on my gown and grabbed his shoulders. My nails pressed into his flesh as I kissed him back, stroking my tongue over his—over the edges of his fangs. I felt his shudder in every part of me.

Slowing the kiss, Ash caught my lip between his as he lifted his head. Breathing hard, he said, “As I said, liessa, I will do anything you want. You need me to just be here? I’m here.”

His hand slid from my waist, catching the flimsy, ruined gown and dragging it down, letting it slip past my hips. My breath snagged as the balmy air washed over my back.

Ash’s eyes held mine. “You need me to hold you? Done.” He dipped, working an arm under my knees and lifting me as if I were made of only air. He held me to his chest. “Kiss you? You already know the answer to that.”

My lips felt…deliciously swollen. So, yes, I did know the answer to that.

“You want more than that?” he continued as I became aware of him walking, the ground shifting beneath us. The sound of fizzing water rose. “Want me to kiss that stubborn jaw of yours?”

Only then did he break eye contact, kissing said jaw, and then those swirling irises met mine again. “Kiss those beautiful breasts? Draw your nipples into my mouth the way I know you like?”

My lips parted as warm water swept over my feet, immediately bubbling as Ash went down earthen steps—

Wait.

He was still wearing his leathers, wasn’t he?

“You want me to kiss my way down your body and then between your thighs? Or touch you there? With my fingers? My dick? Gladly,” Ash said, and I was no longer thinking about him still having his pants on. His voice…good gods, it reminded me of silky shadows and midnight dreams as Ash lowered himself, either sitting on an underwater rock or the ground. Water rose, frothing at my waist and tugging at my hands. “I will be inside you or on my knees in a heartbeat.”

“Even now?” I whispered, fingers tangling in his hair as the water teased my sides and breasts. “The on-your-knees part? Wouldn’t that be difficult?”

A smoky grin appeared, one I hadn’t seen in what felt like an eternity as he positioned me on his lap. “It wouldn’t be impossible.”

“Your head would be underwater,” I pointed out as he leaned back slightly, keeping us balanced.

His eyes were like pools of molten silver. “And my mouth would still be fastened on you.”