A Fire in the Flesh (Flesh and Fire, #3)

Keeping my eyes closed, I felt the mist falling away from us as I soaked in the feel of Ash. Breathed him in. Even though I should be, I was in no rush to part from his embrace. I’d been too long without it.

“You okay?” Ash asked, his breath stirring my hair.

I nodded, the edges of the diamond digging into my palm. “Are you sure this isn’t a dream?”

“Yes, liessa.” He kissed the top of my head. “We are awake. We are together.”

A shudder went through me. “It feels like one. I didn’t think…” I trailed off, shaking my head.

“What?” he questioned softly.

Words tiptoed to my lips and then just stopped there. Speaking the truth about, well, anything had always been hard. But when it came to talking about how I felt? How I really felt? What I’d been afraid of, or my weaknesses? I didn’t have much experience. Like, at all. I hadn’t been taught that. I’d been groomed to feel nothing and share only lies. So, the fear of saying something wrong or not the right way caused near-crippling anxiety. Even now, with Ash, who I knew wouldn’t judge me, wouldn’t laugh. After all, it wasn’t like he had a lot of experience with this stuff either. Still, it was hard.

Yet according to Holland, the hardest things reaped the greatest rewards.

He was correct.

Hard wasn’t impossible.

And keeping my eyes closed helped. “I…I told myself I would get to see you again. It was how I…” I shook my head slightly. “It was how I did what I needed to…you know, survive.”

Ash’s hand flexed at my hip and then slid to the center of my back. “I know.”

I squeezed my eyes shut harder. “But I was so afraid. And I know you say I’m never truly afraid, but I was. I was terrified that I wouldn’t get to see you. That I wouldn’t be strong enough to deal with everything and ensure I saw you.”

“Strong enough?” Ash dragged his hand up my spine. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I don’t know about that,” I murmured.

His fingers tangled in my hair more. “You freed me, Sera. You took Kolis down.”

I bit the inside of my lip. “And I could’ve done that anytime. I could’ve freed you days or weeks ago. I could’ve—” I stopped myself from going there. “I should’ve realized I could do what I did.”

“Fates, Sera.” Ash lowered his head so I felt his breath against my brow when he spoke. “Even if you realized it earlier, you wouldn’t have been able to free me. I would’ve been in stasis,” he pointed out. “And then what? I have a feeling you wouldn’t have done the right thing.”

“I would’ve gone to the Carcers and woke you from stasis,” I told him. “That is the right thing.”

“The right thing would’ve been making a run for it,” he said softly. “Instead of risking being recaptured.”

“Would you have made a run for it, or would you have come for me?”

“I would’ve come for you, but we’re not talking about me.”

I frowned.

“You also freed me from stasis,” he went on. “You got Kolis to wake me.”

Some of the tension began slithering its way back into me. “He told you that?”

His hand made another pass up and down my back. “He did.”

I turned my head, pressing my forehead against his chest. I wanted to ask exactly what Kolis had said, but I also didn’t want to know.

Ash was quiet for a moment. “That allowed me to escape. So, yes, you’re the strongest, bravest person I know,” he said, and my eyes started to sting. “I thought I was going to save you. Each time I woke, it was all I focused on: getting free and getting to you.”

I thought about what he’d said, how he’d torn at his flesh to get free. The sting behind my eyes increased.

“And I should’ve been able to do that. I should’ve gotten you out instead of going after Kolis,” he said, his voice flattening. “I should’ve been smarter.”

“Don’t.” I tried to lift my head, but his hand kept me in place. His skin was cool and hard beneath my palm. “Don’t put that on yourself. You came for me. You fought Kolis, and I distracted you.”

“Sera—” A breath shuddered from him. “None of that matters now. You’re not there anymore. We’re here.”

He was right. All that could’ve and would’ve had no place here. Not anymore.

I slowly tilted my head back and felt the damp air on my face. Somewhat confident I wouldn’t start sobbing, I dared to open my eyes, finally seeing where we were. There were branches, or perhaps vines, full of large, funnel-shaped blue and purple blossoms. Lilacs. I lifted my gaze, my lips parting. The flowers crawled up the slab-gray walls and across what I could see of the ceiling, lacing together to form a canopy.

I felt a twinge in my neck as I leaned farther back. Dappled sunlight penetrated the flowers, sending narrow streams of light down onto a…

Ash’s hands slid away from me, and he allowed me to turn. Wisps of steam drifted up from an earthen pool and danced in the slivers of light.

Based on what limited descriptions I’d heard of the Bonelands, I didn’t think we were there.

“Where are we?”

“We’re in the mortal realm.” Ash stayed close behind me. “This is a hot spring I discovered once. I figured we could both use a couple of moments of privacy and to clean up.”

My gaze crawled over the water, lingering where it churned around the outcroppings of rock. I didn’t need a mirror to know I looked as equally disturbing as Ash.

“I know it’s not your lake, but we’re not that far from the Bonelands. We’re just on the other side of the Skotos.” He paused. “What do you think?”

I blinked. “This is…it’s beautiful.” I shook my head in wonder, taking in the lilacs hanging in clusters from the cavern’s ceiling and the steaming water that glimmered in the slivers of sunlight. “I never even knew such a place existed.”

“It’s pretty hidden away.” Silvery eyes pierced mine as I looked over my shoulder at him. “I’m not sure a single mortal has ever stumbled upon it.”

Holding on to the diamond, I twisted back to the rock pool. “What about Attes? Nektas?”

“They can wait.”

But could we? Could I? The hollowness in my chest hadn’t spread, and my stomach had settled. The ache in my head was manageable. I was tired but not falling down. “Attes will probably need time to find Keella, right?”

“Yes,” he said. “And Nektas knows I’m fine. He can sense if I’m not.”

I nodded, somehow forgetting that a bonded draken could sense when their Primal was in danger. “Does he know about this place?”

“No. No one else does.” His fingers grazed my arm as he scooped the hair clinging to my already-damp skin. “We don’t have much time.”

No, we did not.

“But we have enough.”

There was comfort in knowing that no one would interrupt these stolen moments. A heavy, long breath left me as I looked up through the blossoms to the pinpricks of sunlight. Then I looked down at the diamond. It was warm against my palm, and I could feel it pulsing.

“See the large rocks there, in the center?” Ash pointed to the ones the water lapped against. “As long as you don’t go too far past that, the water will only come to about your shoulders. Beyond that, it does get deeper.”