At some point during the night, I am jolted awake by motion and noise. Sean kicks at the blankets, his arms are around my shoulders, tightening, releasing his fingers, scratching at my back. He’s sweating, his skin hot against mine. I can just barely see him by the moonlight that’s coming through the window. His eyes are closed. His face is contorted in pain. Strangled animal cries escape through his clenched teeth.
“Sean,” I whisper, and then louder. “Sean!”
He’s trying to say something, but the words come out garbled like he’s just now learning to speak. “Indint safe-im, Indint safe-im.” He’s thrashing around.
“You’re having a nightmare,” I say. I wrap my arms around him. “Everything is okay. You’re having a nightmare. Shhhhh.” He puts his arms around my waist and clings to me, his head against my chest. I move slightly to adjust the pillow under my head. “Mmmmmm,” Sean says. And he shakes his head, like “don’t go away,” like “stay here with me.” Like he’s scared I’m going to leave. I stroke his hair. “I’m not going anywhere,” I say. And I just lie there with my arms around him. I lie there like that until the cool blue light of morning starts coming through the window. And only then do I finally fall back asleep.
Twenty-nine
I wake up with sunlight streaming through the window and my face in Sean’s armpit. When I lift my head up, he smiles, and he kisses me on the lips. “Morning, sunshine,” he says. “You’re an awfully gorgeous thing to wake up to.” And he kisses me again.
“Hey,” I say. My mouth is dry. I start to get up out of bed.
“Awwww.” Sean pulls me down on top of him. “Not yet.” He gives me a squeeze. I feel a rush of warmth course through me.
I lean back against him. “Those were some crazy nightmares you were having last night,” I say.
“Nightmares?” Sean looks confused. “I was?”
“Yeah,” I say. “What were you dreaming about?”
Sean frowns. “Don’t remember. And it doesn’t matter anymore, anyway.” He pulls my head back down and presses it against his chest. I can feel his heart. My phone starts buzzing on the nightstand. I grab it and glance at the screen, the caller ID says Mon Coeur.
I look at the clock on the nightstand. 11:17. I was supposed to be at work over two hours ago. Hundreds and hundreds of miles away. “Ooops,” I say. I flip open the phone.
“Braddykins! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.” But I am smiling because I know as I tell him about me and Sean, he’ll be so excited, he won’t even care.
“Hey, Ellie,” Brad says. He doesn’t sound terribly happy.
“I completely forgot to call you!” I say. “I should have asked for today off, too. I’m so sorry! I somehow didn’t think of it when I was talking to you on Sunday.” I untangle myself from Sean and start to stand up. He grabs my wrist. I smile and blow him a kiss, and then pull away and walk toward the bathroom. “But you won’t be mad when you hear where I aaaaaam! I’m in a hotel room with…”
“I know,” Brad says.
“You do?” I glance at myself in the mirror. My hair looks insane. I try and de-knot it with my fingers.
“I saw Amanda earlier.” Brad’s voice sounds strained. “She got in at like ten this morning and came by on her way home from the airport.”
“Oh?” I freeze.
Brad doesn’t say anything for a minute. “Look, Braddy, whatever Amanda said isn’t true. And she was a real bitch.”
“El.” Brad’s voice softens. “You know I love you, but Amanda sort of freaked me out a little bit this morning when she was here. She was really worried about you.”
“She’s not really worried, she’s just jealous,” I say.
Brad sighs.
“What did she say?” I ask.
“Just that the guy you’re with might be…a little weird.”
“Amanda thinks everyone is weird!”
“Well, you have a point there.” I can hear Brad smiling through the phone. “When are you coming back?”
I think about the address Peter gave me that’s still in my pocket, and I think about Sean back in the bed. “In a few days?”
“Ooookaaaaay,” Brad says. He’s trying to sound begrudging, but I can tell from his voice that he’s happy for me. And that is why I love him. He wants to be happy for other people. Unlike Amanda, who just wants to be controlling and dramatic.
“Thank you, oh Braddiest,” I say. And then I pause. “I think he might be my Thomas.”
“Well, I think I will have to be the judge of that!” Brad says. “Bring him in to meet me for real and then we’ll talk.”
“Okay!” I say. I rinse my mouth out with water and then start walking out of the bathroom. I hear a beep and look at my phone. The red battery icon is flashing. “Shoot, Braddykins, my phone is out of batteries. I don’t have my charger with me so it’s about to hang up.”
“Okay,” Brad says. “I expect stories when you get back! Kissies!”