“I don’t have a bathing suit,” I say. Sean has flipped the TV on and is now lying back on the bed watching an Animal Planet show about elephants.
“I brought an extra one,” she says. “The navy blue boy shorts one that you wore at my house that first night it got warm back in May. Remember, Eric’s friend Dylan kept staring at your ass all night?”
I glance at Sean who seems really engrossed watching two little elephants spray each other with water. Sean smiles at them and absentmindedly scratches his stomach through his shirt. The blood rushes to my face. I remember how it felt last night when I was leaning on him, our stomachs pressed together, my cheek on his chest, his hand in my hair. Was that really just last night? Amanda crosses her arms and starts tapping her foot.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” I ask Sean.
“Nah, I’m tired.” Sean shakes his head. “I think I’m gonna hang out here with my buddies.” He motions to the screen where the two elephants are now nuzzling.
“Let’s just go, Ellie,” Amanda says. She sticks her hand out, the navy blue straps dangling from her fist. “Go into the bathroom and change.”
And even though I don’t want to, I’m not sure what else to do at this point. So I do what I’m told.
I change in the bathroom and then Amanda and I head out into the beige and cream colored hallway, thick hotel towels slung over our shoulders.
The second the door clicks shut behind us the smile leaves her face. “What the hell is going on?”
I stop, adjust one of my straps. “With what?”
“Um, I don’t know, how about you randomly disappearing on some road trip without even telling anyone first? And then avoiding my calls? And then playing boyfriend/girl-friend with el freako back there? I mean, I know things were a little weird the last couple times we talked to each other, but just because we get into a fight doesn’t mean you have to run off with some creepy loser.”
“Stop it,” I say, “you don’t even know him.” We walk toward the elevator. I push the Up button. About a second later the gold-and-glass elevator arrives and we get in.
“Neither do you,” she says. She reaches out and pushes R. The elevator begins to rise. A few seconds later the doors open and we step out into a lush desert oasis—there are dozens of multicolored cactuses in terra-cotta planters, a half-dozen wood patio tables shaded by dark green umbrellas, and four cream colored canvas cabanas draped in hundreds of twinkling white lights, all surrounding a crystal blue swimming pool that’s lit from underneath.
I turn to my right where Amanda was standing, but all that’s left of her is a pair of flip-flops and a towel in a pile on the ground.
I hear a splash and watch concentric circles spread themselves out over the surface of the pool. A moment later Amanda’s wet head appears in the center of it. Even though it’s after midnight, it’s still at least ninety-five degrees out. I dip my toe in, the water is pleasantly cool. I close my eyes and jump.
I can see the golden glow of the pool lights through my eyelids as I sink all the way down to the bottom. It’s so quiet down here, so peaceful. I stay until I feel my lungs burning, then I push my legs against the floor of the pool and rise back up to the top. When I finally open my eyes again, Amanda’s right there in front of me.
“Look, all I want to know is this.” Her face is lit from underneath, all lines and sharp angles. “Since when do you go off on vacations with random guys you’ve just met?”
“We’re not on vacation,” I say simply. And as soon as the words leave my lips I regret them. I know what’s coming next.
“So then what are you doing here?”
I pause and take a deep breath.
“We’re looking for Nina,” I say.
Amanda stares at me. The water suddenly feels cold. I hear sounds, people moving around near the edge of the pool, but the lights in the pool make it hard to see outside of it. I swim over to the ladder, turn around, and lean against it. Amanda doesn’t follow.
“I don’t even know what to say to you,” she says. She sounds so disappointed, like I’ve just told her I’m planning to become a junkie or start a homemade porn site.
“I didn’t ask you to say anything.” My voice sounds sharp, and I’m glad.
“I’m worried about you,” she says. “I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore. I mean I came all the way out here to make sure you’re okay…”
“And what exactly are you worried about?” I say. “That I’m actually going to find Nina? That someone else is helping me who isn’t you?” Even I am shocked to hear myself say this. But the words are out now. And I can’t take them back.
“No, Ellie, what I’m worried about is that you’ve lost touch with reality and you somehow think driving hundreds and hundreds of miles with a freak you don’t even know is a perfectly normal thing to do.”
“Who cares if it’s normal?!”
Amanda swims over to my side of the pool.