The laughter felt joyous in her throat, like chocolate ice cream on a hot day. She laughed so hard tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked at Robert in time to see him double over, and she laughed even harder. Months of stress and worry and fear broke loose inside her and were exorcised. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt hopeful and unburdened and indescribably free.
She looked over at Robert and saw him sit back on his heels. He was holding one of Jack’s pudgy hands and laughing so hard tears were rolling down his cheeks. Lily stared at him and knew this was a moment she would never forget. No matter how things turned out, no matter what happened in the coming days and weeks and months, she would always have this moment in time, and she would forever cherish it.
Feeling foolish for making such a big thing out of a silly moment between two tired, stressed-out adults, she reached into her backpack and pulled out the baby bottle. When she turned, Robert was struggling to pin the fresh diaper.
“Now might be a good time to try that bottle,” he said.
She looked at him to find him gazing steadily at her, seeing too much, she knew. “Before he gets restless,” he added.
Unnerved by the way he was looking at her, she glanced down at Jack and offered him the nipple. “Okay, big guy, now’s your chance if you’re hungry.”
Jack suckled eagerly. Lily smiled at him and felt her nerves begin to settle. “He’s so cute,” she said, mostly to herself. “I love to watch him take milk.”
“He’s a good-looking boy,” Robert agreed.
Lily glanced at his diapering job and gave him credit for creativity. Because disposable diapers weren’t available in Rebelia, she used cloth, which required the old-fashioned pins. Hiding her smile, she lifted Jack—and the diaper drooped to his knees.
“Oops,” she said.
Robert chuckled. “So much for my diapering skills.”
“Takes practice.” Laying Jack on the blanket again, she handed the bottle to Robert. “Hold this for him, and I’ll tighten up the diaper a little.”
“Sure.” He reached past her to hold the bottle steady.
Lily tried to concentrate on the task at hand, but Robert was so close she could smell his subtle scent. Feel the heat coming off him into the chill night air, touching her as surely as he’d touched her the night before.
“You’re good at that,” he said.
“I’ve had lots of practice.”
“Did you breast-feed?”
She nodded. “For about six months.”
“Good. I mean, that’s healthy for the baby.”
She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t make eye contact. To do so now would be a dangerous prospect, to say the least. Lily might not be afraid to live alone in a war-torn country, but there was no way she was brave enough to look at Robert when she knew what she’d find in his eyes. When she knew what he would see in her eyes.
“Lily…” Gently he put his hand on her arm.
She froze, all too aware that his hand was warm and comforting against her skin. She hadn’t realized how chilly the night had become until he touched her. She knew it would be a mistake to look at him. But she did, and the earth quivered beneath her. Vaguely, she heard Jack cooing. The whisper of a breeze through the naked treetops. The cry of a night bird in the distance.
Leaning close to her, Robert brushed the hair from her face. “I like hearing you laugh,” he said.
Even though her heart was pounding, she forced a laugh. “Kind of a rare sound these days.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
Yes, it does, she thought, but the words refused to materialize.
“Why are you trembling?” he asked gently.
“It’s cold.”
“Or maybe I’m the reason.” He touched the side of her face with the backs of his fingers. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”
“Maybe it’s best if we don’t find out,” she whispered.
His face was only a few dangerous inches from hers. It would be so easy to lean forward and let him kiss her again. She could tell he wanted to and felt need rushing through her with every beat of her heart. She could feel the pulse of it, hear the roar of it in her ears.
The next thing she knew she was being shoved quickly backward. “Hey!”
Her exclamation was cut short when Robert slapped a hand over her mouth. Confused, Lily gripped his wrist to wrest it away. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw the twin beams of headlights slash through the darkness. She heard the rumble of engines. Lights washed over them, playing wildly over the trees as two jeeps filled with soldiers stopped a few feet away.
“What do we do now?” she asked.
“Kiss me,” Robert said.
Lily pulled back slightly. “What?”
“For once in your life, don’t argue.” Cupping the back of her head, he crushed his mouth to hers.
Chapter 9
Even with all the problems standing between them, her betrayal still fresh in his heart—and a dozen of DeBruzkya’s soldiers looking on—she felt awfully good in his arms. Robert told himself he was laying it on thick so the soldiers would believe they were a married couple and leave them alone. But the hot rush of blood to his groin refuted the lie.
“Alteich!”