“How well do you know this person?” Grae asked.
Once, Arista might have said she trusted him with her life. Now? She wasn’t sure. He had saved her by sending the note to Becky, but he was also the one who’d set her up for murder. Still, he’d warned her about Wild, and he’d given her Bones’s secrets. That must mean he did still care what happened to her.
It really didn’t matter, though, because if he had something that could free Grae’s father from Raffer’s grasp, she’d do anything. Take any risk to get it.
“I know him well enough.” She watched his jaw flex.
“You want to meet him? How do you know it’s not a trap?”
She didn’t. That was the biggest unknown in all this. Something in his eyes at Newgate gave her hope that he didn’t really want her to die. Next time I say run, you run, he’d told her.
Nic had been working for Wild. He must have something she could use to blackmail the Thief Taker into calling off Raffer. She just needed one secret. Something irrefutable that could be used if needed. Something that would scare Wild.
But Grae would never understand. She watched as he paced the length of the cabin like a caged tiger. Frustration rolled off him like the waves lapping at the ship’s hull.
“What about your safety? If you leave the ship, you’ll be arrested immediately. They know who you are now. Everyone has seen your face under the mask. It’s too risky.”
Arista stood on wobbly legs and walked across the room to him. “Grae.” Her hand shook as she raised it to his face. When she touched his cheek, he froze. Neither of them dared to breathe.
“I appreciate everything, more than you’ll ever know,” she said softly. “But for the first time in my life, I can control something. I can keep people I care about from getting hurt. I wasn’t always able to do that, and it will haunt me until I die. This is a small way to make amends.”
“I’ll go instead.” He stopped pacing and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. A surge of love filled her, so sweet and overwhelming that it brought tears to her eyes. This had to work. If Grae’s family fell apart because of her, she would never forgive herself.
“We can go together,” she finally conceded. “But I need Becky. Tell her to bring me the traveling bag that’s in the back of the wardrobe. It has everything we’ll need. I can’t leave London without it or her.”
“I’ll take care of it myself. You can stay here on the ship. It’s safe and you can rest. My men won’t let anyone on. I’ll be back very soon and we can finish this business and then…” He leaned closer. His kiss was soft, gentle. “We can set sail and start our lives together.”
Grae meant it to be a brief, parting kiss, but she realized it might be the last time, and her hand snaked up his arm and held the back of his neck. She tangled her fingers into his hair. When he started to pull back, she moved closer and deepened the kiss. Desire and sorrow twisted together inside her, fueling the burning need to be as close as possible to him. Just one last time, in case things went bad.
“Arista,” he murmured against her lips. Her tears threatened to spill over, so she closed her eyes. They sat like that for a few precious minutes. When he finally tore himself away, his chest rose and fell with his rapid breaths. There was a soft look in his eyes. She could see the love in them.
“I love you.” His lips curled up in a tender smile that almost undid her resolve. He did. She could see it clearly. He really did love her.
It took all her strength to smile back. Her lips trembled with the effort. When the door closed behind him, the tears finally slipped free. She brushed them aside.
This was not the end.
In Grae’s wardrobe, she found several jackets hanging neatly side by side. She took the one that looked most well-worn. Grae’s familiar scent of cedar and exotic spices enveloped her. She slid her arms into the sleeves and turned the collar up. The sleeves hung well past her fingertips, and the shoulders hit halfway down her arms, but it would have to do.
She couldn’t help burying her nose in the fabric and inhaling deeply before she reached for the smallest-looking set of trousers. She paused at the sound of movement near the cabin door. She pressed her back against the wall and waited. After only a minute, whoever-it-was left, and Arista heard steps going back up to the deck. The air whooshed out between her teeth.
Arista walked around the cabin, running her fingers along the shiny wood surfaces, committing every detail to memory. Everything was neat and orderly—the heavy wood furniture built into the walls and secured to the floor to prevent movement when the ship was at sea. The spicy scent of cedar and salty sea air filled the space. Grae smelled exactly the same.