They entered an airy room with round tables. There was a water dispenser in the corner, a coffee machine on the shelf. There were upbeat, self-esteem-affirming sayings written on yellow oaktag on the walls: YOU ARE UNIQUE! REACH FOR THE STARS! Gag.
Hanna recognized the black-and-white photo of the spiral staircase; apparently, some Preserve alum had taken it once he’d recovered. The room had a view to the facility hallway, and she couldn’t help but glance at some of the patients walking past, half expecting to recognize some of them. Like Alexis, who never ate anything. Or Tara, who had those huge boobs. Or Iris, who Hanna had thought was A—and who’d also roomed with Real Ali. But even the nurses looked unfamiliar. Betsy, the nurse who administered the meds, was gone. And there was no sign of Dr. Felicia, who’d led the torturous group therapy sessions.
After a moment, the door from the hallway creaked open, and a stout nurse with a hairy mole on her chin led a frail-looking girl in pink hospital pajamas into the room. The girl had bright red hair and small, even features, but it still took Hanna a beat to realize that this was the same person she had briefly met at Noel’s party last year . . . or the crazed figure she’d seen on the cliff two nights ago. There were circles under Kelsey’s eyes. Her hair was matted. Her shoulders slumped, and her arms hung heavy.
Everyone stiffened as Kelsey pulled out a chair and quietly sat down. She looked at them blankly, her face betraying nothing. “Fancy meeting you here.”
“Hello,” Spencer answered. She gestured at Hanna and the others. “You remember everyone, right? This is Hanna and Aria . . . and you know Emily.”
“Uh huh,” Kelsey said morosely.
There was a long, punishing silence. Hanna stared at her hands in her lap, suddenly desperate to busy them with a nail file or a cigarette. She and her friends hadn’t exactly discussed what they were going to say to Kelsey once they got here. They’d never been in this situation before: face-to-face with A, able to ask her why she was torturing them.
Finally, Kelsey sighed. “So my therapist says I’m supposed to apologize.”
Hanna snuck a peek at Aria. Apologize?
“I shouldn’t have dragged you out to that quarry.” Kelsey looked at Emily. “My therapist said I put you in danger.”
Emily’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. Wasn’t that the point? Hanna wanted to say.
“And I should thank you, too.” Kelsey stared at her fingernails, sounding upset. “For saving my life on Saturday. So . . . gracias.”
Emily blinked. “Uh, you’re welcome?”
Kelsey pushed a letter into Emily’s palm. “This is for you. I wrote it this morning, and it explains . . . everything. We don’t have access to phones or computers here, so our shrinks are all about us writing letters to get our feelings out.” She rolled her eyes.
“Thanks,” Emily said, staring at the folded piece of paper.
Kelsey shrugged. “I’m glad you pulled me back from the cliff, but you shouldn’t have called an ambulance.”
Emily’s mouth dropped open. “You were convulsing! What were we supposed to do?”
“Leave me. I would’ve come out of it okay. It’s happened before.” Kelsey started to tear a random napkin that was sitting on the table into pieces. Redness crept into her neck. “The cops had zero tolerance because of my record. This was strike three, so I’m automatically back in rehab. And after rehab, more juvie.”
Emily shook her head slightly. “I had no idea.”
“None of us did,” Spencer added.
Kelsey didn’t say anything, but she looked like she didn’t believe them.
Everyone shifted uncomfortably. Then, Spencer leaned forward. “Listen. I’m sorry, you know. About . . . what happened this summer. What I did at the police station.”
Kelsey stared down at the table, still not saying a word.
“And I’m sorry, too,” Hanna added. There was no way she could bottle it up any longer. “For putting those pills in your room. And for calling the cops and telling on you.”
Kelsey let out a choppy laugh. “I already had a bunch of pills in my room, but that was pretty shitty of you to call the cops. I don’t even know you.”
Hanna blinked hard. So . . . Kelsey deserved to go to jail after all?
Spencer looked equally blindsided. “Why didn’t you tell me you had pills that night? We wouldn’t have gone on that crazy drug deal. We wouldn’t have gotten in trouble!”
A sneaky smile appeared on Kelsey’s lips. “That was my secret stash, Spencer. My ticket to an Ivy League school—not yours. I never thought you’d have the balls to go to North Philly and buy drugs from someone. I mean, look at you.” She narrowed her eyes at Spencer’s blousy Elizabeth and James tunic and J Brand denim leggings, which Hanna had seen on a table at Otter for almost three hundred dollars.
Aria leaned forward. “Why did you do this to us?”
“Do what?” Kelsey asked dumbly, raising her heavy-lidded eyes to the group.
Torture us as A! Hanna wanted to scream.
“This is because of Tabitha, right?” Aria pressed.
“Who’s Tabitha?” Kelsey sounded bored.