He had said he loved her. But had he? Wasn't it a word that men whispered easily in the heat of the moment?
She cried out as he shifted suddenly, abruptly, easing the skirt of her gown up, wedging his body between her legs. The force of his entry was a shock, but a gratifying, dizzying shock, causing her body to shiver in liquidafterquakes . Unwittingly she dug her fingernails into his back, whimpering softly as the unleashed storm of pain, anger and untamed desire swept into and around them with the merciless vigor of a cyclone. Bryn had no thought of anything but the driving need, the sweetness that coiled and coiled within her, the wonder of feeling him move inside of her, easing the need, stroking it to frenzy....
Her release sent wave after wave of shivering aftershocks shooting through her, releasing her body slowly from the wild, tempestuous beauty of the storm. She heard him groan her name, felt him strain above her, shudder violently, and leave within her the warm liquid fire of his own release. As she clung to him, she began to wonder what was truth, the anger or thelove? And she burst into tears.
He moved like silent lightning, shifting from her, taking her into his arms. And his words were no longer angry; they were anxious and filled her heart with pain and remorse. "Oh, God, Bryn, I never meant to hurt you; I would never want to hurt you. Oh, my God, I am so, so sorry. Please don't be afraid of me. I couldn't bear it if you were afraid of me...."
It took her a moment to absorb his words, to understand that he was ripping himself apart; his pain was that of a dagger twisting in his gut. She disentangled herself from his arms long enough to meet his eyes, and she shook her head in confusion. "You didn't hurt me, Lee. And I'm not afraid of you."
He was silent for a moment that seemed to slip into eternity. And then his hand moved to touch her face; it trembled as he grazed her tears away.
"Then why are you crying?" he asked her, his whisper hoarse.
' 'Because..." Bryn faltered. She wanted to tell him the truth; she wanted to demand to know if he really loved her. But she couldn't. Not even with him, could she be that trusting yet. And love...well, she had learned once that it could mean many things. Before she could give him her trust, she would have to believe that it meant forever and forever--and that the man could extend his love for a lifetime to three little boys who weren't his.
But she had to say something, because the anxious concern he was showing her was abaring of his own soul; she didn't understand it, but she had never seen him so upset.
"Lee, I swear to you that I'm not afraid of you--and you've never, never hurt me. I think it's just the Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
night. I've been so worried, and frightened. And tonight was horrible, and then you started on me..."
Lee groaned. "Oh, God, Bryn, I am sorry. I don't know what got into me. Can you forgive me?"
"Yes, of course, Lee. But, please...can't you tell me why you're so...upset?"
He sighed, grazing his palm over her cheek,then lying back on a pillow to stare up at the ceiling.
"Sometime, Bryn. Not now." A tremor gripped him suddenly and he spoke softly, almost hesitantly.
"Bryn...you don't find me...brutal?"
Bryn smiled and laid her head against his chest, puzzled at his words, but determined to ease him.
"Torrid, tempestuous, passionate, intense, strong and forceful.A whirlwind, yes.But brutal, never. You are fire and wind and gentle breezes, and I love them all." He was silent, stroking her hair as he pulled her close and rested his chin upon her head. Bryn waited a moment, knowing that for once, it was he who leaned on her for the strength. Then she spoke softly to him.
"Please tell me about your wife, Lee."
"She died," he said tonelessly.
"I know that, Lee. But please, please let me try to understand what hurts you so badly."
"I will, Bryn, I promise.Soon."
She had to let it go at that; she couldn't give him everything yet; maybe it was the same with him. His fears seemed to be as deep as hers.
Suddenly he lifted her above him; his fingers locked about her nape and he pulled her down to touch his lips against hers with reverence. He rolled her to her side and smiled as he faced her, tugging at the rumpled gown that was still tangled around her. "Could we dispense with this?" he asked. "I need to sleep--holding you, not material."
Bryn silently pulled the gown over her head and tossed it from the bed. She settled down beside him.
There were a million things that could have been said but they didn't say any of them. They lay there, and in time, Bryn drifted off to sleep.
She awakened later--she didn't know how much later--to find she was alone.Startled, she half rose and looked around.
Then she saw him by the doors to the balcony, silently staring out into the night. The moon caught his profile and it was strong and proud...but his features, caught by shadow, were haunted.
"Lee!" she cried softly.