Wasting her time and energy obsessing over the two men she’d allowed her self to get close to was pointless. Why put her self through the additional grief?
How had it been so easy all these years to move through life with out getting her heart snagged? Work had been her focus. Until just over a year ago when David had lured her into a relationship. She’d thought it was time. Why not? Most women her age had already been involved in committed relationships. Why shouldn’t she? But it had gone all wrong.
Another thought crept into her mind. Maybe she simply wasn’t equipped to deal with failure. Her academic and professional life had succeeded on every level. Perhaps the fear of failure kept her from taking emotional risks.
“No more self-analysis,” she muttered.
She unlocked her front door and stepped in side. Left all the questions and uncertainty on the stoop.
Home sweet home.
A long, deep breath filled her lungs with the scents of her private existence. The lingering aroma of the vanilla scented candles she loved…the vague hint of the coffee she’d had this morning.
She dug around in the freezer until she found a micro wave dinner that appealed to her. Five minutes and dinner would be served. A bottle of char don nay she’d bought to celebrate the night before departing on her cruise still sat unopened on her kitchen island. Perfect.
Lapsing back into her usual routine as easily as breathing, she set a place at the table, lit a candle and poured the wine. Just because she ate alone didn’t mean she couldn’t make it enjoyable.
The chicken breast, steamed vegetables and pasta turned out better than she’d expected. Or maybe she was just hungry. She hadn’t realized until then that she’d completely forgotten lunch. She did that quite often. But so did most of her colleagues.
The wine did its work and slowly began to relax her. By the time she’d climbed out of the tub she was definitely ready for bed and well on her way to a serious good night’s sleep.
She pulled the night gown over her head and smiled at the feel of the silk slipping along the length of her body. Practical had always been her middle name, but she did love exquisite lingerie. Panties, bras, gowns. She loved sexy and silky. Vivid colors were her favorites. Her bed time apparel was way different from her day wear. David had always teased her about it.
Cursing her self, she turned out the light and stamped over to her bed. She had to stop letting him sneak into her thoughts. He was dead. Creating his face on another man had torn open old wounds once more. She needed to allow those wounds to heal. What ever her future held she needed to get be yond the past.
She pulled the sheet back, but a sound behind her stopped her before she slid onto the cool covers. She wheeled around to peer through the darkness.
“It’s just me,” a male voice said, the sound of it raking over her skin like a rough caress.
She shivered. “Hennessey?” What was he doing here? Had something happened? She felt her way to the table and reached for the lamp.
“Don’t turn on the light.”
Elizabeth stilled, her fingers poised on the switch.
“I don’t want you to see him. I want you to listen to me. Only me.”
Her heart started to pound. What on earth was he doing here? Had he relieved Agent Dawson? No, that didn’t make sense. This was Dawson’s mission….
“I don’t understand.” She wished her throat wasn’t so dry. Every part of her had gone on alert to his presence. Her hands wanted to reach out to him, her fingers yearned to touch him. She would not listen to the rest of the whispers of need strumming through her, urging her to connect with him on the most intimate level.
“I’m leaving tomorrow. I didn’t want to go without…”
He didn’t have to say the rest. She knew what he wanted. What she wanted. She could stand here and pretend that it wasn’t real or that she didn’t want it, but that would be a lie. Tomorrow he would be gone and if she didn’t seize this moment she would regret it for the rest of her life.
Could she do that? Risk the damage to her heart?
She pushed the uncertainty away. Her entire adult life she had erred on the side of caution when it came to affairs of the heart…but not tonight.
She didn’t wait for him to say any thing else or even for him to move. She moved. Reached out to him and took him in her arms.
His mouth came down on hers so quickly she didn’t have time to catch her breath. She reached up, let her hands find a home on his broad shoulders.
She didn’t need to see his face. She could taste Joe Hennessey…recognized the ridges and contours of his muscular chest and arms. She didn’t know how she could have done something as foolish as fall for this man…but she had. There was no changing that fact. The best she could hope for was to salvage some part of her heart after he’d gone.