“I have wealth of my own, from my mother,” he replied almost self-deprecatingly. “So I’m not completely beholden to my father. I’m also his only son and heir, so he knows I’ll inherit his estate and his title eventually, even if he cuts me off now.” His eyes hardened. “And in any case, whether he admits it or not, he needs me to assist with his investigations and to conduct the inquiries he has no wish to handle. My father may be the inquiry agent with the reputation, but that doesn’t mean he’s the man doing most of the investigating.”
I knew there was much to Gage’s relationship with his father that I didn’t understand, but I hadn’t realized it was quite so contentious. Captain Lord Gage was reputed to be much like his son, charming and highly sought after, friends with the king and scores of high-ranking men, but I had already taken a distinct disliking to him. And I had a strong suspicion that if the day ever came that we should meet, he would not like me either.
Gage moved a step closer to me and I lifted my eyes with a start, realizing I’d been staring at the crisp whiteness of his shirt above his dark waistcoat.
“Do you understand now? Are we well?”
His expression was tender and hopeful, and my resolve nearly crumbled in the face of it, but the tightness remained in my chest and the bitter taste of the hurt and frustration he had caused me still coated my mouth.
“I don’t know, Gage.” I rubbed a hand over my temple. “You tell me to trust you, but how am I supposed to do that when you’re so secretive?” I could hear the exasperation growing in my voice. “You tell me to be patient, that you’ll eventually reveal all, but you stubbornly evade all attempts I make to learn more.” I turned away to cross the room toward the table where I’d flung my paint-splattered palette. My heart wrenched at what I was about to say. “I don’t think I can live like this.”
He was silent, and for a heart-stopping moment I worried he would simply turn and walk out the door. But then I heard his soft footsteps cross the room toward me. The skin on the back of my neck prickled as he drew closer and my breath caught. I felt the string of my apron being pulled, and I whirled to look at him.
“What are you doing?”
“I want you to come with me,” he told me, calmly reaching out to pull my apron over my head. “There’s something I want to show you.”
I was so startled by his actions that I was momentarily paralyzed. However, when he reached out to remove the old, paint-splattered shawl from my shoulders, I pushed him back.
“And what if I don’t want to go with you?” I demanded.
His eyes saddened, but the rest of him stood still, clutching my apron between his hands. “Please, Kiera.” His voice was low and throbbing with resolve, as if he’d made up his mind about something difficult, and he wasn’t about to allow himself to back down now. “I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”
He held his hand out to me and I stared down at it for a moment, trying to decide what to do. If I took it, I knew I was committed to learning something about Gage, something he had elected to keep hidden, something that might very well change my opinion of him and our relationship. Now that I was at the brink, I didn’t know if I was ready for that. But the pleading in his eyes and the ache in his voice as he said, “Please,” again made the choice for me.
With a knot in my throat, I lifted my trembling fingers and placed them in his warm palm. His fingers wrapped around mine and gave a gentle squeeze of thanks.
I shrugged off my old shawl while he gathered up my gloves and the winter shawl. He settled the fur-lined garment over my shoulders while I pulled the tight white gloves onto my hands and up my arms. I blew out the lanterns and pulled the door tight as I locked it. I didn’t say a word as he guided me down the stairs and out the door to his waiting carriage, though my heart was pounding. I was surprised not to see Alana or Philip stick their heads out of the drawing room or study door to discover where we were going. They seemed to trust Gage more than I had, but, of course, they also didn’t know about Lady Felicity.
The carriage was cold and the night as dark as an hour before when I’d walked home with Bonnie Brock. I peered through the curtains, curious whether he still stood under the trees at the center of the square, watching me depart with Gage. I couldn’t see anything, but I suspected he was skilled enough at concealing himself that I wouldn’t be able to notice him unless he wanted me to.
The carriage rounded the square and then set off toward Princes Street and the castle.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” Gage replied obliquely, though not unkindly. I turned to look at him. “Just . . . trust me.”
I felt that I was just about at my limit of trust for the evening, but I held my tongue, knowing it was my nerves talking as much as my head. I pressed my hands tightly together as the coach turned down Rose Street rather than continuing on to Princes Street. It drove several blocks and then turned right into the mews that ran between Rose Street and Princes Street. I realized with a start that we were very likely sitting behind the building where Gage rented his lodgings.
I turned back to him with wide eyes. “I can’t go in there,” I told him as he opened the door. “What if someone were to see me? I would be ruined.”
“That’s why we’ve come to the back door. No one will see you.”