“He’s only a little boy, Buzz. He’s sweet and smart and….” Rising abruptly, she turned away, put her face in her hands. “I can’t stand not knowing where he is. I’ve got to find him. I’ve got to go—”
“I need you to calm down and keep your head, Kel.”
“I’m trying. Dammit. I’m just…scared.”
“I know.”
She looked at him with ravaged eyes. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this, Buzz, but I didn’t know where else to go.” She put a trembling hand over her mouth. “I know we have a lot to work out. But right now I just want him back.”
Buzz barely heard the words over the pounding of his heart. He tried to comprehend everything he’d been told, but the meaning was too huge to absorb, too devastating.
After he finished the call, Buzz looked down at his hand clenching the phone, saw that it was shaking violently. He stared at his ex-wife. She’d always been a strong woman. She knew her mind and never failed to speak it. That was one of the things he’d always loved about her. Tonight, however, she looked as if that spirit had been crushed. Her coffee-brown eyes were wild with terror and ravaged by guilt. If she shook any more violently he figured he was going to have to pick her up off the floor. Because he didn’t want to have to do that, he rose and walked over to her, set his arms on her shoulders. “Sit down before you fall down. I’m going to get dressed. Pack some gear.”
“I don’t want to sit down. I can’t stay. I’m going back to the ranger station—”
“I’m going with you, damn it, and you’re going to wait for me.” He guided her toward the chair. “Sit down.”
“Don’t you have to go to headquarters to put your team out?”
“They’re standing by. You and I will make a stop at RMSAR on the way to the ranger station.” Noticing that her teeth were chattering, he scowled. He could feel tremors coming through her shoulders and into his hands. “Sit and pull yourself together. I’ll be ready to go in five minutes.”
She stared at him as if she was so at odds with the concept of sitting at a time like this that the sheer thought of it rendered her unable to do so.
“We’ll find him,” he promised, pushing her down into the chair.
Her shoulders felt frail beneath his hands. But Buzz knew she was anything but frail. She might weigh a hundred and ten pounds fully clothed and soaking wet, but her personality packed the punch of a linebacker. He’d been knocked senseless a time or two by that personality and had quickly learned size didn’t always matter.
“He hasn’t had dinner,” she said hoarsely.
“He got any supplies?”
“Snacks. Raisins and a peanut butter sandwich in his backpack. A few cookies. A little box of juice.”
“What else?” Plucking a flannel shirt off the back of a chair, Buzz jerked it on then stepped into his hiking boots.
“A flashlight. Bunky Bear, a little stuffed bear.”
“That’s good. Jacket?”
“Yeah, but it’s not waterproof.”
“It’s not going to rain. Another dry front.”
She jumped with a clap of thunder. “He’s afraid of storms.”
Buzz tried to think like the cop he’d once been, like the Search and Rescue professional that he was, but there were too many emotions banging around inside him to manage it. He definitely wasn’t thinking objectively. He couldn’t get a handle on this, could barely form a coherent thought, let alone come up with a plan.
Grabbing his jacket off the arm of the sofa, Buzz turned to get his bag of gear—and nearly ran into Kelly. He hadn’t seen her rise, and the sudden contact stunned him, sent another shock through his system. For an instant she was so close he could smell her. A combination of citrus and the out-of-doors and the mysterious scent of woman. The familiarity of it struck him like a blow. He knew better than to let her affect him. Not at a time like this when she was frightened, when his own world had just been turned upside down, and an innocent young life hung in the balance. But when he took a deep breath, her essence enveloped his brain and brought back memories he had absolutely no desire to think of now.
Steeling himself against the power of those memories, he turned away abruptly and headed for the door. His head was spinning. Not only because of the shock of learning he had a son or that his young son was in danger. But because even after almost five years of being away from his ex-wife, she still wielded the power to make him shake inside and outside and every place in between.
Chapter 2