LILY FOUND cold ham, some smoked cheese and a bottle of grape juice in the galley. As Chase finished his call, she gathered plates and glasses and set them on the table. In one of the cupboards, she discovered a box of stale crackers. Normalcy in the midst of lunacy, she thought as she arranged crackers on the plate next to the cheese.
Chase looked at the table as if the concept of eating were foreign.
Lily motioned toward the food. “I know eating seems mundane in light of everything that’s happened.”
“No,” Chase said quickly. “You need to eat. You’re…” His words trailed.
She couldn’t withhold the smile. “Eating for two.”
Chase smiled back, but it looked tense on his face.
Taking the bench seat, Lily set a slice of cheese on a cracker and popped it into her mouth. Chase poured grape juice into glasses. For several minutes neither of them spoke; the only sound came from the gentle lapping of waves against the hull.
“You’re really worried, aren’t you?” Lily asked. It was a profound question, because Chase wasn’t the kind of man to worry.
“Worry is an understatement.”
“Do you have any idea who’s behind it?”
“Maybe.”
She arched a brow, wondering if he was going to keep her in the dark.
“There was a mission, eleven years ago,” he began. “Things went wrong and some hostages were killed. A man was court-martialed and went to prison.”
“And?”
“He was recently released.”
“Who is it?”
He grimaced. “Look, I think the less you know the better off you’ll be.”
“So you’re going to keep me in the dark?”
“I just think there are some things we shouldn’t talk about,” he said carefully.
“If something happens…” Not sure how to finish the sentence, Lily let her words trail. She didn’t want to think about anything catastrophic happening. Not to her. Not to Chase. But she had her unborn child to think about now. She had no choice but to consider every possible scenario no matter how distasteful.
“If something happens,” she began, “I need to know what to do. I need to know where to go. I need to know who to trust.”
Rising abruptly, Chase crossed to the small stove and leaned. Lily held her ground, taking in the rigid set of his shoulders and white-knuckled fingers. She could practically feel the tension coming off him. All she could think was that this wasn’t the Chase Vickers she’d once known. That man had been totally unshakable. He’d thrived on danger, gotten off on adrenaline. What had changed?
“You think if they get their hands on me, they’ll torture me for information about you?” she asked.
He gave her a dark look, the muscles in his jaws working. “That’s where they’ll start.”
A powerful shudder ran the length of her, followed by a burst of cold, hard fear. Not so much for herself, but for her unborn child. How was she going to keep her baby safe when she couldn’t even keep herself out of harm’s way?
“I’m not going to let those bastards get anywhere near you.” Grinding his teeth, he brought his fist down on the counter hard enough to rattle a saucepan. “Damn it.”
“You’re worried about the baby,” she whispered.
He spun on her. “I’m worried about both of you!” As if realizing he’d shown her more emotion than he should have, he lowered his head and raked a hand through his hair.
She used to love running her fingers through those light brown tresses, long and always unruly. Every time they made love she’d—
Chase’s words cut off her reverie. “This shouldn’t have happened. Damn it, Lily, you shouldn’t be in this situation.”
“I am. We can’t change that. Now we have to deal with it.”
He looked up at her and his gaze burned into hers with such intensity that she thought she could feel the heat emanating from its depths.
“The man I’ve been talking to is Ben Parker,” he spit. “He’s an FBI agent.” He shook his head. “I just don’t know who I can trust anymore.”
“You don’t trust Ben?” When he didn’t answer, she said, “I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice.”
He scraped a hand over his jaw. Lily couldn’t ignore the scrape of whiskers against his palm. It was such an intimate, masculine sound. One she’d heard a hundred times before. One she’d always liked.
“I know this sounds crazy,” he said. “Maybe even paranoid. But Ben knew we were at South Station and within minutes of my telling him, we were ambushed.”
The words made her feel a little sick inside. As if they were up against something that could not be defeated. Setting her hand over her abdomen, Lily went back to the table and sat. “You think he revealed our whereabouts?”
“I don’t know.” He started to pace, restlessly eating up the width of the boat, like a tiger in a cage. “Ben is a good man. A good agent. He’s tough, loyal as hell. Lily, you know I choose my friends carefully, and he’s one of the best.”
“Do you trust your instincts?”
“I used to.” He laughed, but it was a dry, humorless sound. “Now I’m not so sure.”