Mike was silent. His shoulders seemed to rise up and scrunch together like somebody had pinched his neck.
“Sorry,” she said, sensing his discomfort. “I doubt you’re very interested in my life story. Especially when it’s so depressing.”
Mike remained silent. He reached behind his back and plucked something from his back pocket. It was the wallet she had retrieved for him weeks ago in the hotel room. He opened it up and showed her what was inside. Amongst the useless money and credit cards was a photograph. Annaliese studied the picture with interest. It was obvious that the girl in the frame had Down’s syndrome.
“Who is she?” Annaliese asked.
“My six year old daughter, Lucy. Dead now, I suppose.”
“That’s why you wanted your wallet?”
Mike put the wallet back in his pocket and lowered his head so that his chin was against his chest. “I guess I sensed early on that things were pretty bad. I didn’t want to not ever see her face again. This is the only picture I had.”
Annaliese looked at Mike and realised, for the first time, how much sadness the man carried with him. He seemed to wear it around his neck like a lead-weight. “You’ve been so brave,” she said. “I never would have guessed you had a daughter.”
Mike cleared his throat and looked away. “Not talking about her doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about her. It’s just the way I deal with things, I guess. I had to be brave from the moment she was born. The best way to cope with her condition was to be positive all the time. I guess it’s a habit that stayed with me.”
Annaliese grabbed Mike’s hand. It was clammy. “It’s a good habit to have. You’re very courageous.”
“So are you, Anna. What you went through…” He let out a sigh. “At least I got to know my child, if only for a little while.”
Annaliese didn’t know which was worst. Her having never known her child, or what Mike had gone through, losing a child after raising her for six years.
“What about Lucy’s mother?” she asked. “Do you know what happened to her?”
Mike shook his head. “We were separated, long time ago. All I know is that they would have been together at the end. I hold on to that.” It seemed, for a moment, that he might cry, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “Thank you for giving her back to me. The photo, I mean.”
She patted him on the back. “My pleasure. She was a beautiful girl.”
He leant down and kissed her.
To her surprise, she let him.
They broke away after several seconds and Annaliese felt her cheeks growing red. She cleared her throat and tried to speak. “Wh-what was that for?”
Mike stroked her face with the back of his hand. “Life has become very short; no point spending all of it just trying to survive. There’s got to be a little time, here and there, for actually living our lives.”
Annaliese felt her cheeks burning, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure there was a big philosophical point there somewhere.”
Mike smiled and kissed her again. Annaliese’s stomach fluttered as though it were full of leaves and wind. She held on tightly as they continued to embrace for what felt like an eternity and, yet, as short as the briefest heartbeat at the same time.
I feel like I’m lost, but I never want to be found.
When they finally broke away there was the sound of laughter. It wasn’t coming from either of them.
Mike glanced around. “Do you hear that?”
Annaliese nodded. “Sounds like people having fun. Almost forgot what that sounded like.”
“Let’s go check it out.”
“Okay, but then I need to go feed the animals.” She found herself blushing as she asked, “Would you like to come along?”