The battle to hold back her tears proves futile. “I’m so sorry,” says Rachel. “It’s all my fault. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for me. If I’d just stopped digging, forcing people to tell the truth…”
“Listen to me,” says Maria. “You can’t allow yourself to think that what happened was your fault. There was no one else to blame but Jack.”
“Yes, but if I’d just left it alone, then we’d all be none the wiser, and Ali wouldn’t have…” She chokes on her words.
“She was always going to do right by you, no matter what,” says Maria.
Rachel smiles gratefully. “Here she is,” she says as Ali approaches them in a flowing white dress that falls in rivulets to the floor. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”
“Though, hopefully a little more conservative this time,” says Ali, laughing as she looks down at the sweetheart neckline that just shows the very top of her cleavage. “But it’s all for Grandma Nettie, so it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
“I’m so pleased she got to see you and Will do it all over again. How are you? How have you been?”
Ali wrinkles her nose. “Not too bad, considering the extent of my injuries. I’m still getting the odd headache, but apparently that’s very common after a brain trauma.”
Rachel nods solemnly.
“But,” says Ali, smiling widely, “my physio says there’s no reason why we can’t start trying for a baby.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful news,” says Rachel, welling up at the thought of her and Will as parents.
Ali laughs. “Chrissy cried when I told her as well.”
“How’s she doing?” asks Rachel.
“She’s getting stronger all the time. She wanted to come back for today, but I told her it would be too much.”
“So, she’s still in Portugal?” asks Rachel.
Ali nods. “Yep, still in Portugal. Still in love with Paulo’s son!”
Her optimism, as she offers a winning smile, is infectious. “What about you?” she asks, with a nod to Noah, who’s talking to Will behind her.
Rachel can’t help but grin. “It’s still early, but I’m as happy as I can ever imagine being. And I’ve just started my teacher training.”
“I’m so thrilled for you,” says Ali. “And Josh and Chloe?”
“They’re doing okay,” says Rachel. “The anniversary last week was really hard because, whichever way you look at it, Chloe’s lost her mother and, essentially, Josh has lost his dad.”
“Has he?” asks Ali, tilting her head to the side.
Rachel knows what she’s implying. “Yes,” she says. “He has.”
Ali offers an awkward half smile, as if she doesn’t know if that’s good news or not. If Rachel were honest, she’s not quite sure herself. But at least it means the past twenty years haven’t all been a lie.
“I was just saying to your mum, if it weren’t for you two…”
Ali takes her hand as Rachel chokes on the words. “He would have been found guilty no matter what,” she says.
“Perhaps,” says Rachel. “But thank you for taking the stand and telling the truth. It couldn’t have been easy.”
“I wasn’t going to let him get away with saying what he said about me,” says Ali. “I’ve had a lifetime of it and I’m not going to put up with it anymore.”
Rachel can’t help but be buoyed by her chutzpah. “But if you hadn’t shown him for the liar he was…”
“I don’t think me telling the court that I’d never kissed him and had certainly never slept with him got him convicted of manslaughter,” says Ali.
“But by all of us working together we were able to show what he was capable of,” says Rachel. “We got justice for Paige.”
“I think the watch got justice for Paige,” says Maria. “He was never going to be able to explain how it came to be in the car.”
Rachel steels herself, knowing she needs to tell them that she could.
“I…” she starts.
“That’s because there was no other explanation,” interrupts Ali, taking Rachel’s hand and looking at her so intently that it feels as if she can see straight through her.
Perhaps she can.
EPILOGUE
Up until that moment, I thought I’d wanted Rachel to tell me what I already knew. But just as she was about to, I suddenly realized it wasn’t important anymore.
It didn’t matter that I’d seen her put Jack’s watch into Paige’s bag when she was standing at the bar. I’d greatly admired her for it at the time, cheered by her courage to call Paige out by showing her what she’d done and what she stood to lose. I’d hoped that Paige would read the inscription on the back and be reminded of the grave error of judgment she’d made. It would never have made things right, but knowing Rachel as I know her, she would have gone to the ends of the world to try and forgive her husband and best friend for their betrayal.
But they didn’t deserve to be forgiven and if my silence made her see that, then I’m only too happy to have helped seal their fate.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, the first thank-you goes to my agent, Tanera Simons at Darley Anderson, who makes me feel as if I’m the only author she looks after. Nothing is ever too much trouble, and she always has my best interests at heart. I’m not much of a businesswoman; it’s the reason I make up stories for a living, using my fictional world as an excuse to escape the real one. But she has one foot firmly in both camps, and I will be forever grateful to her for always having my back.
The same can also be said for the rest of the team at Darley Anderson: Mary Darby, Georgia Fuller, Kristina Egan, Sheila David, and Rosanna Bellingham, who all somehow manage to turn my scrawled ramblings into a paid occupation. I’ve got the best job in the world—thank you!
This is the fourth book I’ve worked on with Catherine Richards, my amazing editor at Minotaur Books, and it feels like we’re really getting into the swing of things now! As ever, she has waved her magic wand over the initial drafts of The Guilt Trip, but I hope that with each book, I’ve honed my craft, so that I’m closer to delivering what she’s expecting the first time around! Thank you for your patience!
Also to Gillian Green, my editor at Pan Macmillan, who seamlessly picked up where Vicki Mellor left off. Thank you for your support and enthusiasm. I feel very lucky to have had the valuable insight of two brilliant editors.
Writing a book is easy compared to what goes on behind the scenes. Many thanks to Nettie Finn, Joseph Brosnan, Sarah Melnyk, Matthew Cole, and Becky Lloyd for everything that you do.
A big thank-you to all the Alis out there! We probably all know someone as spirited and irrepressible as her and, if we’re honest, might even have gone out of our way to avoid them. But I have thoroughly enjoyed writing her character and I vow to be “more Ali” in the future!
To my friends and family, for once again allowing me to go into my writing hole and not come up for air until I was done.
After months of scratching our heads for a title, The Guilt Trip quite literally tripped off my son’s tongue over dinner one night. It says everything that this book is about and is absolutely inspired. Thank you, Oliver!
And lastly, saving the biggest thank-you for you—for buying this book, reading it, and talking about it. You have no idea how much I appreciate your ongoing support and I hope you enjoyed it.