I’d like to say that becoming a published novelist was a lifelong dream, but that would imply that it was something I considered within the realm of possibility. I want to express my bottomless gratitude to the following people for making this impossible dream come true:
My amazing agents, Jessica Mileo and Claire Friedman. None of this would’ve happened without you. Thank you for your enthusiasm, your tireless support, and your fierce advocacy for me and my work.
My brilliant editor, Shauna Summers, whose astute guidance helped me shape this book into the best possible version of itself. Thank you for your patience, your insight, and for seeing the potential in Grey and Ethan—and in me.
The incredible team at Ballantine: editorial assistant Mae Martinez, publicist Melissa Sanford, marketing manager Taylor Noel, production manager Erin Korenko, production editor Andy Lefkowitz, as well as Kara Welsh, Jennifer Hershey, Kara Cesare, Bridget Kearney, and Kim Hovey. Thank you to designer Elena Giavaldi and illustrator Mercedes deBellard for the gorgeous cover.
My friends who read and gave notes on this book in its earliest incarnations—Victoria Edel, Tim Kov, and Grace Critchfield. Your thoughtful feedback made it exponentially better, and your enthusiasm for it gave me the courage to seriously pursue something more with it.
My parents, for three decades of unconditional encouragement of all my assorted creative endeavors—no matter how misguided. I think I finally figured out the right one! Please don’t ask me why every page of your copies has been blacked out except for this one, it was probably a printing error or something.
My sister, Isabel, for being my best friend, for always understanding exactly where I’m coming from, and for making me laugh more than anyone.
Hannah Milligan, for promptly answering all my deranged texts about various L.A. details, no matter the hour.
My friends and extended family, whom I love for many reasons, not least for putting up with me talking about nothing else for [redacted] months.
The Wholigans, my comrades in the pop culture trenches, who constantly inspire me with their ability to engage with the circus of celebrity gossip through a hilarious, smart, and nuanced lens. Crunch crunch.
The publishing friends I’ve made so far on this journey: even though I didn’t know you when I wrote the book, it turns out that writing it is only the first step of this bizarre, thrilling, exhausting ride. Thank you for your support, for your empathy, for sharing your amazing words with me.
And finally, Walker. Even bookending this whole thing with my gratitude to you doesn’t feel like enough. Thank you for giving me the love and support to flourish into the version of myself who was capable of accomplishing something like this. I truly couldn’t have done it without you.
About the Author
Ava Wilder is a professional video editor with a degree in media studies and cultural criticism. She currently lives in Oklahoma City with her fiancé and their toothless cat.