“I know we only just met. I don’t want to pry into your relationship. But he missed his last weekend with the girls—which is why we’re here now—and when I called him…he was a mess.”
Grey felt like the temperature of the room dipped ten degrees. She shivered, but said nothing, pulling a mug out of the cabinet. Nora seemed like she was trying to choose her next words carefully.
“I just…I just want to make sure. That he’s treating you well.”
Grey shrugged. Outside, Ethan and the girls had taken over the pool, laughing and splashing.
“So far, so good,” she said breezily. She met Nora’s eyes, and was startled to see concern creasing her face.
Nora exhaled. “Look. I know what it’s like to be with him. When it’s good, it feels like the whole world revolves around the two of you. Like nothing could ever go wrong. But when it’s bad…”
Grey’s stomach clenched. She tilted the shot of espresso into the mug and poured the steamed milk over it. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, I’m not trying to scare you,” Nora said reassuringly. “He never cheated. He never hurt me. Well, I guess that’s not true, he did hurt me. Not physically, I mean. But I hurt him, too. Maybe that all goes without saying. But Ethan…” Her gaze strayed out to the pool. “Ethan is tricky. He’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. The most sensitive. The most loving. But he also carries a lot of pain. A lot of guilt. He’s never quite figured out how to hold it.”
“Yeah. I know,” Grey said softly. Nora looked back at her, accepting the coffee mug gratefully.
“I just hope you don’t think it’s your job to fix him. No matter how much you care about him.” She drank a sip of coffee and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. You’re obviously a smart young woman, I’m sure you can take care of yourself. I don’t want to assume anything. Please tell me if I’m overstepping.”
Grey sipped her own coffee. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s…it’s helpful, actually. Thank you.”
Nora waved her hand in front of her face, as if she was trying to physically banish the somber mood that had settled over them. “Anyway. Enough about him. What about you? What else are you up to these days? I was a big fan of your show, by the way.”
Grey laughed in surprise. “Really?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Thanks for not being ashamed to admit it, at least. I know I would be.”
Nora laughed. “So do you have anything exciting lined up? I always thought you’d be the one to break out.”
Grey thought about brushing off the question the way she normally did, the loss of Golden City still stinging, but something about Nora’s frankness—not to mention her compliments—had relaxed her.
“Actually…my friend and I—she’s a director—we’ve been trying to get our own movie made. We’ve been working on the script on and off for years. She’s been out of the country for the last few months, but we’re just about ready to start trying to get some meetings going.”
She expected Nora to respond with a bland “That’s great,” but to her surprise, Nora seemed genuinely interested.
“What’s the movie?”
“The Empty Chair. It’s—”
“P. L. Morrison,” Nora finished, her eyes lighting up. “I love that book. You said you have a script ready? What’s your friend’s name?”
“Kamilah Ross. She mostly does music videos right now, but we wrote an indie together that she directed a couple of years ago, kind of as a warm-up for this. She’s super talented.”
Nora sipped her coffee, but Grey could tell her mind was whirring.
“So you would play Vivian?”
“That’s the idea. And she would play Florence.”
“She acts, too?”
“Only in her own stuff, but she’s amazing. She’s never been interested in doing the whole audition thing, getting sent out for the same one-dimensional supporting characters over and over.”
“I don’t blame her. I had to fire my first agent because he only ever sent me out for roles that had ‘exotic’ in the breakdown.”
Grey winced. “Ugh. I’m so sorry.”
Nora tapped her fingers against the island and stared off into the distance for a moment, lost in thought. “You know, I’ve been working on getting my own production company off the ground for the past year or so. We’re still trying to nail down some of the money stuff, but this is exactly the kind of project we’re looking for. Maybe we can set up a meeting.”
Grey blinked a few times, stunned into silence. “Wow, Nora…I don’t know what to say. That would be…wow. Thank you,” she finally managed to say.
Nora grinned. “I mean, I’m not making any promises beyond a meeting. You two still have to bring your A-game. I’d be interested in seeing the other movie you made, too, if you can send it along beforehand.”
“Of course. Thank you. If there’s anything I can do for you…” Grey trailed off awkwardly, feeling unsure. What could she offer Nora that could compare with the monumental favor she was doing for her? But Nora put her empty coffee cup on the island and fixed her with another thoughtful stare.
“Has he said anything to you about the Dirtbags screening?”
Grey frowned and shook her head.
“No, nothing. What is it?”
“They want to do a fifteenth-anniversary screening in a couple of months at Lincoln Center. It’s the movie where…” She trailed off.
“Yeah, I know. That’s…hmmm.” Grey leaned against the island, propping herself on her forearms. She’d seen Dirtbags a couple of times; she’d even written a paper on it in college. Of all the movies Ethan and Sam had made together, it was her favorite: visceral, thrilling, and kinetic.
“I’m not surprised he hasn’t said anything. He seemed against it when I brought it up. I bet he doesn’t even remember. But I think it would be good for him. It might help him remember that part of his life as more than just…regrets. Something to be buried.”
Grey nodded. “I can try to talk to him.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” Nora moved as if to get up from the stool. Something else occurred to Grey.
“Do you know anything about the last movie he was working on with Sam? Bitter Pill?”
Nora’s brow furrowed. “Sounds familiar. I don’t think they’d gotten very far on it, though. Why? Is he still trying to get it made?”
“I don’t know,” Grey replied truthfully. “He says that’s why”—she caught herself seconds before accidentally revealing the original nature of their relationship—“he’s been putting himself back out there. But he doesn’t really seem that interested in it.”
Nora looked at her sympathetically. “Has he talked about Sam much with you?”
Grey shook her head. “A little. I can tell it’s hard for him.”
Nora’s eyes went distant.
“Yeah. Yeah, that was a terrible time. For all of us.”
Grey shifted her weight. “I can’t imagine.”
Nora sighed. “I’ve made my peace with it. Ethan…he still has a lot of stuff he needs to resolve where Sam is concerned. Preferably with a professional.” She stood up and stretched. “I should get going. Thank you for the coffee, this was lovely. I’m going to go out and say goodbye to the girls.”
“Of course. I’m glad you decided to hang out for a little.” Grey returned to the onion and picked up the knife again, suddenly starving.
“Me, too.” Nora smiled. “See you soon, I hope.”
She slid open the glass door and strolled outside. Grey watched her approach the trio in the pool, crouching down to talk to them. Ethan shook his soaking hair, pushing it out of his eyes. His younger daughter jumped onto his back, and the two of them plunged underwater, faking a struggle.
Grey felt like she was spying on something intimate, something she was never meant to be part of. The four of them made sense together: the picture-perfect family. But something invisible had ruptured, driving them apart. If it hadn’t, she wouldn’t be there, observing from the kitchen.