Knox isn’t the type to get angry often or without a reason, but his jaw is clenching now and a muscle jumps in the veins of his neck.
His anger is raw, furious yet still calm. And I’m in the middle of it now. Worse, I think I’ll be swept away by it.
“If you repeat the word “nothing” one more time, I swear to fuck…” he trails off, his nostrils flaring.
“Can’t you just leave it alone?”
“No.”
“Knox…”
“Why are you building a wall between us, Anastasia? Hmm?”
“I am?”
“I feel it, and it keeps getting taller with every passing second.”
“Maybe that wall was supposed to be there from the beginning. It’s safer. For both of us.”
“You mean, for you.”
All the anxiety and fear of the unknown rush to the surface, exploding in a myriad of red-hot temper. “Yes, for me! You have no idea who I am or what you’ve gotten yourself into. The day you do, you’ll curse the moment you met me. I’m defective, okay? Do you know what I do to people? I destroy them.”
“You can’t destroy me, beautiful. That was done way before you came along, so how about you tell me what’s haunting you?”
“How do you know something’s haunting me?”
“I saw it that night. In your ocean blue eyes. They were a little bit haunted, a little bit broken. Just like me. Usually, I don’t get close to people who give off vibes that resemble mine, but you were the exception, my little liar. You still are.”
“You shouldn’t have made me an exception.” I sniffle. “I’m bad for you.”
“And I’m bad for you, too. You don’t see me asking you to leave because of that. In fact, I never will since I happen to be fucking selfish. When I covet something, I keep it. I don’t throw it away and I certainly don’t let it slip from my hands. So you’re fucking stuck with me, Anastasia.”
“What if I want to leave?”
“No, you don’t. You’re just running away because that’s what you’re good at, but you’ll quit that fucking habit with me. Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m keeping you. Whether you like it or not.”
I see it then. The determination.
The stubborn determination and the raw possessiveness.
And something tells me it’ll just get worse from here on. That he’ll not only demand to know more, but he’ll also keep me. Whether I like it or not, as he said.
If anything, the more I fight, the harder he’ll chain me to him.
Because he’s decided that he covets me. Wants me.
He won’t allow me to run or escape or search for an alternative solution.
And I can’t stay. Not if I want to keep Adrian and Kirill away from him.
The painful decision thuds against my ribcage with crushing reality, leaving me hollow.
My words are barely audible when I whisper, “I want to break up.”
A muscle works in his jaw and his fist flexes on the wall. I think he’ll move his hand, whether to choke or grab me, I don’t know, but he doesn’t. Instead, it remains there, as stonelike as his presence, as if he’s pining for patience. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“I…want to end this. Whatever this is.”
There’s a manic light in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. “Hmm. I don’t think you were listening, Anastasia, because I just told you that won’t be happening.”
“You can’t tell me what to do. I’m breaking up with you.” My heart bleeds with every word out of my mouth, but I’m so thankful for my calm tone and the false composure in it.
My brain realizes this is the only way to protect him. The only way I’ll keep him out of the sniper’s range.
If he’s out of the picture, Adrian won’t have anything to threaten me with.
This time, Knox’s hand finds my throat, the hold is tight and unyielding, as if he’s driving his words home. “You can break up with me all you want, but you’re still fucking mine.”
31
KNOX
My mood has been shit since yesterday.
Since Anastasia said we were breaking up.
I haven’t seen her—properly, at least—since that encounter in the firm’s hallway. Not only did she leave work after dropping that bomb, but she’s also ignored my calls.
I was a few seconds away from turning into a raging arsehole. Even though, per Dan’s words, I already was one.
He invited me and Sebastian for dinner at one of the few restaurants he approves of. He’s posh like that, a picky eater to a fault, and never eats out unless it’s absolutely necessary.
I might have glared and glowered during that whole dinner until they’d finally had enough and kicked me out for ruining their meal.
When I went to her flat, Anastasia was already sleeping in a curled-up position on the sofa. I wanted to wake her and continue where we left off, but I couldn’t when I saw that delicate frown on her face.
This morning, she got up earlier than me and went to work.
With all the prep I’ve had to do with Sandra, I haven’t been able to go find her. And when I finally got the chance during a small break, she wasn’t in the IT department. Chris mentioned she was out with Gwen.
So I shot her a text.
Me: Meet me after work or I swear to fucking God, this will get real ugly, real fast. You don’t want to get on my nerves any more than you already have, my little liar.
She didn’t answer.
Not that I expected her to.
Which means she’s taking the difficult road. A stupid mistake that she’ll pay for once I’m finished with court today.
That’s where I am right now, in court, barely holding on to my patience, because although I prepped Sandra, she’s on the verge of breaking down again.
Pearce didn’t even bring out the big guns yet, but a simple look at her father and she starts shaking all over.
“If you keep giving that reaction, it’ll only play in his favor,” I whisper to her. “You’re not here to win his case for him, you’re here to make him pay. Are we clear?”
She nods, sniffles, then slowly regains her composure after exchanging looks with Lauren. My associate lawyer is definitely better at the sentimental stuff than I am.
Anastasia is, too, but she chose not to be present today, and it’s fucking with my head more than I’d like to admit. Maybe, like me, Sandra is used to her silent support and gentle touches and fucking natural softness. Maybe like me, she feels like she’s losing her footing and will be stumbling into nowhere.
I internally shake my head to focus on Pearce, who was questioning Matt’s wife, and Sandra’s stepmother, who’s been basically calling her stepdaughter a whore for the past ten minutes.
“Your witness.” Pearce gives me a lopsided smile that makes his face appear maniacal.
He’s so sure he’ll win both the criminal and the civil case, and he has all the right circumstances to fall back on. Not only is the prosecutor in charge of the criminal case not aggressive enough, but the amount of bribing happening in the background is astounding, to say the least.
That fucker Matt, who’s sitting in a relaxed position with a permanent smirk on his face, seems to be waiting for the whole charade to end. And once it does, I’m sure that big-bellied bastard with the slowly balding head will make Sandra’s life a living hell for merely going up against him.
That’s what bastards like him do; when you stand up to them, you either have to kill them or they’ll chop your head off.
The first time I tried to run away with Teal and Mum had found us, we were in for brutal floggings that broke our skin. Then she locked us in a closet for a whole day with no food or access to the bathroom.
She only let us out when a “client” specifically asked for us. She bathed us then, made us look pretty for her fucking pedophiles and told us that if we ran again, she’d kill us and sell our corpses.