“Just leave.”
Ty looks at me for a second, and then says, “I thought maybe sometime The Five could like maybe share a sundae at Friendly’s? We could all go to the one in Hampton, so no one would know, if you are afraid of being seen outside the house. You could sneak out one night. I got my license last week. It was my birthday, remember? I sent you an invitation to my party. Did you get it? Ricky came.”
I remember throwing it out, but do not say so.
“Maybe Ricky told you my dad bought me an old Volvo station wagon. I’ve been driving Ricky to school and all. My ride’s outside actually. So I was thinking maybe I could take you out sometime?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Hell no,” I say, and then I walk over to my desk and pretend to do my assignments.
Ty stands there for a few minutes, and then he leaves.
A week or so after Ty visits solo, I receive an envelope with a second place Marketing Club ribbon in it. A note reads:
AA,
I tried to win for you. I really did.
Franks said I was robbed by the judges.
My Friendly’s offer still stands.
Ty
PS—M.C. regionals weren’t as much
fun without you. Everyone else agrees.
Even Franks said it. If Ricky hasn’t told
you already, no one made nationals.
CHAPTER 44
“Amber?”
“Yes, Father Chee?”
“I am sorry.”
“For what?”
“For putting unneeded pressure on you. For putting a cross on you when you are already suffering. It was wrong of me. Selfish.”
I don’t say anything.
“Unless you ask me to keep coming, I will no longer come to visit you every day. In fact, I will never come again if you do not ask me to come. I want to help you, yes, but I also have been coming here because I need to believe that you are someone I need you to be, so that my faith will be increased. This is not fair to you. You spoke this truth the last time we talked. So this is the last time I will come to your room uninvited. The Korean Divas for Christ miss you very much and would love to sing with you again, but they will be just fine if you choose never to return to us. It is your life to do with as you wish, and you should make the decisions you think are best. I will be praying that you are who you need to be, always. And for selfish reasons, I hope that I will see you again soon. But Father Chee will also be okay either way, so do not worry about him. Goodbye.”
When Father Chee turns to leave I want to hug him and tell him to stay—that I want him to keep coming every day—but for some reason, I say nothing.
FC does not come the next day, and I am equal parts surprised, angry, and sad.
CHAPTER 45
FLOWERS ARE IN THE
GROUND, WHERE WE CANNOT SEE THE
FUTURE WONDERMENT
CHAPTER 46
Easter comes and goes.
I do not go to church.
I do not celebrate the resurrection.
CHAPTER 47
SUN STREAMING THROUGH THE
WINDOW, MY CARPET IS WARM
ENOUGH FOR BARE FEET
CHAPTER 48
Jared and Chad-in-a-backpack visit me again for the first time in weeks.
“I know you told us not to come,” Jared says.
“But we came anyway,” says Chad.
“Did Ty really come here solo?” Jared asks.
“Yeah,” I say.
“He’s growing a beard,” Chad says.
“What?” I ask.
“Ty says he’s not going to shave until you come out of your room and agree to go to Friendly’s with us,” Chad says.
“He’s calling it a friendship beard,” Jared says. “Says it’s an outward sign of his support for the reunification of The Five.”
“And he grew a full beard in days!” Chad says. “He’s beginning to look like Bin Laden.”
“What? Why?” I ask.
“Because his beard is getting all long and pointy at the chin,” Chad says. “Not because he actually wants to look like a terrorist or anything like that. Ty’s a patriot. Red, white, and blue—tried-and-true.”
“No, why is he growing a beard? Seriously.”
“As an outward sign of his support for you,” Jared says. “Just like I told you. It’s a friendship beard.”
“But I’m not seeing the beard, because I’m in my room, so why would he grow one?”
“He sorta sent us here today to tell you about it,” Chad says. “Show her, brother.”
Jared flips open his cell phone, hits a few buttons, and suddenly bearded Ty is smiling through the little square screen. His beard is sort of pointy at the chin, but he looks nothing like Bin Laden.
“We wanted to see you anyway,” Jared says, “because we miss you a lot and we feel really badly about your missing Marketing Club regionals and refusing to be a part of The Five. But Ty is really worried about you. He’s really upset.”
Jared says, “So what should we tell him?”
“Tell him?” I say.
“What’s your reply?” Chad asks.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Will you—maybe go to Friendly’s with us?” Chad asks.