CHAPTER 31
“Father Chee?”
“Amber?”
“What is it: is man only a blunder of God, or God only a blunder of man?”
“So you are quoting Nietzsche now?”
“You know his work?”
“Yes.”
“Does reading Nietzsche ever make you doubt your faith?”
“Yes.”
“But you still believe in God?”
“Yes.”
“How do you keep believing?”
“I have faith.”
“Why?”
“Because when I asked Him for help, God sent me a young, hopeful girl who was able to convince a group of shy Korean women to sing The Supremes—making ordinary women into divas—doubling my church’s membership. This was a great miracle that I saw with my own eyes. It boosted my faith much.”
“What if that young, hopeful girl never recovered from the blow God sent her way? What if she never sang with those Korean women ever again, and people stopped coming to your church and the Pope fired you and then you got sick and were about to die all alone feeling like your life meant nothing—and then some mentally insane man appeared and killed you in a strange and bizarre and terrifying manner? Would you still have faith in God then?”
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER 32
THE SUN IS NOT A
BALL—IT’S AN ENDLESS WHITE STREAK
TIME’S AN ILLUSION
CHAPTER 33
“Father Chee?”
“Yes, Amber?”
“If I had followed my mom on the night she was killed, do you think I might have been able to stop that man from doing what he did?”
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER 34
FOUR-LEAF CLOVER: A
MIRACLE, MUTATION, OR
HAPPY ACCIDENT?
CHAPTER 35
“Father Chee?”
“Yes, Amber?”
“Why do some people go through life never knowing a single major tragedy, and then others have horrible things happen to them over and over again?”
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER 36
BITING INTO MY
YELLOW–GREEN APPLE—LIPS AND
FINGERS GET STICKY
CHAPTER 37
“Father Chee?”
“Yes, Amber?”
“Do you believe that I was a pretty good person before my mother died?”
“I know it. You still are a good person.”
“So it really doesn’t matter if we are good or not—bad things will still happen to us regardless?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER 38
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
SPARROW MAKES A NEST OUT OF
WHAT I THREW AWAY
CHAPTER 39
“Father Chee?”
“Yes, Amber?”
“Why didn’t God turn the other cheek when Adam and Eve ate the apple? Why did He have to punish all of mankind for eating a damn apple?”
“It is a metaphor for wanting to know more than what we can handle. God tried to protect us from the consequences of knowledge, but we failed to listen.”
“Do you think I ate some metaphorical apple? Do you think my mother was killed because I pissed God off somehow? Did I fail to listen or something?”
“No. I do not think this. Not at all.”
“Then why was my mother killed?”
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER 40
HOW MANY PIECES
OF BREAD SEPARATE THESE WORDS:
NEEDY, FINE, WASTEFUL?
CHAPTER 41
“Father Chee?”
“Yes, Amber.”
“Why do you keep coming here every day?”
“Because you are worth visiting.”
“Why?”
“Because you will come through this and be stronger on the other side. You will help people again someday.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Yes. It is inevitable.”
“So why do you need to come if it’s inevitable?”
“No need. I like visiting Amber Appleton. I want to be here when you are reborn—when you finally come through this and are stronger for it.”
“Is that why bad things happen—to make us stronger?”
“Maybe, but truthfully—I don’t know.”
“I miss my mom. She was a terrible mom, but I miss her. I really do.”
“I also miss my mother.”
“What are your parents like? Are they here in America or in Korea?”
“My parents were very good people. They are both dead now.”
“How did they die?”
“They were murdered.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“You did not ask.”
“How were your parents murdered?”
“Many years ago. In a detention camp.”
“What’s that?”
“It is a prison where people who criticize the North Korean government are taken.”
“What did your parents say about the government?”
“They said that people should be allowed to believe in Jesus and build churches.”
“That’s a crime?”
“It is in North Korea.”
“And they were killed in prison?”
“Yes.”
“Why would JC let them be killed after they stuck up for Him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is that why you became a priest here in America? Because of your parents?”
“Yes.”