Sighing, I picked out my uniform and started getting dressed. Today was the first day back at school. Not only was it going to be a bad day, but also in the evening, we had Mum’s friend over for dinner: a psychiatric doctor.
Mum was going for casual now since I refused to go to a doctor surgery or hospital. Had she never thought that there was a very good reason for that? I knew she was desperate to help me. I could see it every time she looked at me, every painful conversation I’d overheard, and every time I heard her crying at night, but I’d had enough. What she felt now was nothing compared to how she would feel if she found out the truth.
Once I was ready, I crept downstairs to get some breakfast.
“You ready for today?” Cole asked, making me jump at how close he was. Why hadn’t I seen him? Probably because I was concentrating too hard on eavesdropping. I felt sick at the thought of going back to school; I definitely didn’t appreciate his reminder.
I sighed and nodded, resisting the urge to get back in bed and pretend I was ill.
“It’s gonna be okay. If Julian says or does anything then just come and get me. I’ll meet you at break and give you my timetable so you’ll know where I’ll be if you need me.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled out of his arms, feeling like a helpless little child that couldn’t stand up for herself. I knew he was only saying it because he cared and wanted to protect me, but I couldn’t help feeling like his little sister when he did.
He grabbed my hand and spun me around, so I was facing him again.
“You can chuck it in your bag and never look at it if you want. Just take it for me?” he pleaded, widening his eyes. It wasn’t often that he used that face on me, but it worked. Giving up, I wrapped my arms around his waist again..
“Thank you,” he whispered into my hair, sending that familiar shiver right through me.
We managed to stay away from my parents and eat breakfast in peace as they excused themselves and went upstairs, to talk about how to handle the visit from the psychiatrist tonight no doubt. I didn’t want Mum fussing around me anyway.
Jasper walked in as we were eating our toast. My mouth dropped open. It was before nine. Was he sick or something? Wait, he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
“Well good morning, baby sister,” he chirped, ruffling my hair and laughing as I slapped his hand away.
“Good night?” Cole questioned.
He grinned like an idiot and winked.
“A gentleman never tells.”
“Gentleman!” Cole scoffed. “Anyway, thankfully we don’t have time for the gruesome details. We’ve gotta go.”
I stood up with Cole and gave Jasper a little wave goodbye.
On the way to school, I watched the time on Cole’s dashboard. That was supposed to make time pass slower, it didn’t. The illuminated orange numbers flicked by too quickly, and before I knew it, Cole had parked outside the sixth form block.
“I would give you the whole ‘it’ll be fine and come get me if you need me’ speech again but my arm’s starting to bruise!” he said teasingly, rubbing his arm where I had hit him earlier.
I nodded and smiled at him as confidently as I could so he wouldn’t worry. It didn’t seem to work, he gave me a sad smile in reply. Sometimes I hated how well he could see through my fake happiness.
I got out of the car when I couldn’t waste any more time, and grabbed my bag from the back seat. Cole walked around to my side of the car and wrapped me in his arms. I felt so safe and protected with him. Hugging him closer, I closed my eyes and pretended we were back in Italy.
Someone behind us gagged loudly. Julian. Cole’s grip tightened around me possessively as he glared at Julian, but quickly turned back to me, ignoring Julian, which seemed to make him angry. Why angry? Did he want a confrontation? No doubt.
“I’ll meet you here for lunch? I’ll buy you ice cream,” Cole offered.
My throat went dry. How could he make me feel so… Alive, all the time? I loved him so much, and I wanted him so much. It was hard; I felt like I shouldn’t ever want another man near me, but with Cole everything was so much different. I needed to learn to let myself feel something without second-guessing it or thinking it was wrong.
I gripped Cole’s t-shirt in my fist and pulled him closer, so there was no space between us at all. He brushed his lips against mine teasingly. Usually I wouldn’t be comfortable kissing him in front of hundreds of people, but in that moment, I didn’t care. I crashed my lips to his.
“Nice show,” a deep voice shouted. I jumped back, embarrassed. Kerry and Ben stood just by Cole’s car, grinning at us. I immediately started blushing like crazy. Keeping the kissing in private was certainly a good idea in the future.
“Thank you,” Cole replied sarcastically.