Chapter 25
The next day, I woke up to the sound of a ringing phone. I was about to cuss out loud when I heard his voice. It was then that I remembered what had happened last night. I spent the entirety of it in his arms, barely getting any sleep at all because Dimitris was insatiable, taking me in all the ways I could be taken.
Smiling at the memories of last night, I was about to slide out of the bed when I heard him say, Mon Ange. Claudine. Half sitting on the crumpled bed, I stared at the cracked door, concentrating on his voice as he spoke in fluent French, sweet and cajoling with her.
It f*cking hurt. Inside, my heart constricted, slowly bleeding for the man I had lost—for the man I had pushed to be with another woman. Wiping my teary face, I almost ran into the bathroom and started the shower, past caring that it was ice cold because I didn’t give it time to adjust for the temperature I preferred. Being doused with icy water felt so much better; it certainly helped ease my heated skin.
I made my bed, I thought calmly. I just had to make the best of it. No one would know. This would be my secret—Dimitris’s kept woman. His whore, as he kindly put it.
After I was sure I was fully washed and clean, I came out of the shower, taking my time applying lotion and drying my hair before pulling the robe on, ready to see him. I was taken aback when I found him sitting on the foot of the bed, phone in his hand as he probably waited for me to come out of the shower.
“Good morning,” I greeted, slowly going to him before wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him, thoroughly.
“I have to fly out to Paris,” Dimitris uttered against my lips, bringing me back to reality with a loud thud. “You can come with me, if you like.”
Paris? Sharing him with Claudine in the same city? Not going to happen. When he was mine, I wanted him all to myself with no other woman to distract him. “No thanks,” I said coldly, slowly pulling off his body and then hunting down my clothes that seemed to be scattered all over the place.
I was getting pissy. I wanted to throttle him and at the same time make love to him and never let go, but my anger was getting the best of me because I was already imagining him with her, tonight and for the next few nights. Maybe I should just let bygones be bygones and make this a good one-nighter with Dimitris rather than a longstanding liaison.
With my clothes in hand, I strode towards the sofa and pulled my robe off, knowing that he was watching me change; determined to say my goodbye before I walked out of that door. Now dressed, my eyes scanned the room for my shoes. Where the f*ck were they?
“They are right around the bar, remember? I had to take them off because I wanted to suck your toes while I f*cked you.” Dimitris calmly supplied the information, eyes not leaving me.
“Great. Thanks.” I strode past him, aiming towards the bar and found my heels. Grabbing ahold of them, I sat on the stool, putting them on as I pushed my hair to the side.
“You’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you? When do I get to see you again? We can meet in New York next week, if you like,” he spoke behind me.
I did agree to be his f*ck buddy—in the middle of a blasted orgasm—begging him not to stop, ever. That was then, and this was now… fickle was my mind. I wanted him like no other, but could I really stomach knowing that I was sharing him with another? Knowing that I’d only be his quick jaunt in between flights before he went back to her? No. Now that I was thinking straight, I wasn’t capable of sharing him. I wanted him for me, mine alone, mine to have at any hour of the day, but most of all, I wanted his heart—the same one I had shattered and sent to Hell. How could I even begin to repair the irrevocable damage I’d put him through?
My body tingled when he placed a kiss behind my ear. “I can only stay twelve hours, though, but I believe that would be enough time to satiate our needs, ne?”
“Dimitris, about that—I don’t think I can…” I gently spoke, slowly letting him down.
He growled against me, not pleased at all. “Last night you told me I could have you whenever I wanted. Are you always this deceitful?”
“I don’t—”
“Enough. I should know better than to believe any words that come out of your lying mouth. I sometimes get too caught up with your beauty and how good you feel when I f*ck you, but it doesn’t change what you really are inside… just an empty shell of a woman—selfish and only caring for her needs. I guess I should be grateful that you divorced me because I don’t want to be stuck with a woman like you,” Dimitris spat his venom out, volatile. “I’d rather die than be married to you, Lindsey. So, thank you, from the bottom of my blackened heart, I salute you for cutting me the trouble.” After the words parted from his lips, he left, slamming the door behind him, never coming back.
I cried. For the very first time since my parents’ funeral, I cried like I’d never done before. I had lost the only man who loved me, through my ugliness, through my stupidity and stubbornness, I had finally pushed him out for good.
~L~
It had been a week since I got back, and I was still moving around like a zombie. I’d ignored all of Brody’s attempts to talk it out and more so, I ignored Amber’s existence.
Their betrayal latched onto me like a bad vice, but what killed me inside was losing Dimitris because I was being a stupid woman. Acting like a complete bitch was my forte so I continued on being one, pushing everyone away so that they didn’t have to see the cracks inside me. The ones I was paying heavily for because I was in love with a man I couldn’t have to myself.
I was still a piss poor wreck of a woman. For the life of me, I just couldn’t get my shit together, no matter how hard I tried.
In the morning, I got out of bed and took a long hot shower. Thoughts of him were keeping me awake, like flashbacks my mind remembered the good times with him. Greece. It was embedded into my system, into my soul, making us one. Whether I accepted it or not, it was not up to me to decide.
After my long hot shower, I sought something I hadn’t seen in a year. My wedding ring. Mihi es et tibi sum engraved inside. You are mine and I am yours in Latin. Cradling it in my palm, I kissed it as tears slowly slid down my face.
“Mihi es et tibi sum,” I whispered slowly. “You are mine, Dimitris.”
I silently vowed.
I’m going to fight for you, O syzygós mou.