Chapter 21
We still had three more weeks to go until we left for Italy, but Amber and Trista were already going wacky with shopping, sending picture after picture of what to wear and whatever. I wondered if they were going to get worse when it was only a week away. Come on, Taylor was going to bite her ass off if she kept on going like this.
I ordered my coffee before deciding to reply to Trista’s message.
The clothes look great and all… but try not to forget you have Taylor, k? He’s probably getting annoyed with your online shopping going haywire. Be nice.
There; sent.
My mood nosedived when I noticed the person who was clearing their throat to be noticed. Mother hell.
“Don’t you know it’s time for you to snap out of your funk?” Cece scathingly eyed me up and down, smirking.
I barely gave her a glance, ignoring her, wishing that my coffee would magically appear this instant because I didn’t want to be infested by her bad juju.
“You think I’m the bad guy, don’t you? Well, maybe, but I’m not the only one. You’re such a little princess—always being surrounded by all these caring men—but I got a taste of your man before you did and that pissed you off. Maybe I should share some of your hate, you know, just to be a good friend for you.” Cece kept ranting next to me while my eyes stayed put, not glancing at her. “I wasn’t the only one who wanted to taste your Brody.”
“Shut the f*ck up, Cece!” I hissed at her, almost fed up.
“I have—for far too long—but I think you should ask Amber. She sure as hell knows how to keep a secret, huh? Such a conniving bitch, that best friend of yours.” Cece pouted, eyes vicious.
Amber? What about Amber? “What the f*ck are you talking about Amber for?”
Cece grinned at me, enjoying my reaction. “Have you ever wondered who she gave her v-card to?” she supplied.
She barely finished spouting off before I slapped her, hard. “Next time, when someone tells you to shut the f*ck up, you f*cking do it!” I yelled at her then pushed her against the table, almost making her fall on her butt before some guy helped her. I didn’t even care if she hit her head on the floor and died right then and there because I was busy heading home, looking for some f*cking answers.
It wasn’t even eleven in the morning and I was ready to raise hell. “Amber!!!” I screamed, yanking her door open. The woman was asleep, barely cracking her eyes open before I hastily pulled her comforter off her body, enraged, going bat-shit wacky. “Did you f*ck Brody?” I screamed at her. I watched her eyes widen, about to deny it before I jumped on her. “You f*cking bitch!” I slapped her so hard before I pulled her hair. “You lying skank! I trusted you.”
Emma—who was here for a couple of days before leaving again—woke up from her sleep and scrambled to get me off Amber while she screamed for Trista, who took a good minute to come out of her room. When they finally managed to untangle me from Amber’s body, I noticed that I had scratched her face and it was bleeding, but I didn’t give a f*ck.
“Have you f*cking lost it, Lindsey!” Emma spat at me, looking at me like I was mental.
“She—she gave her virginity to Brody,” I whispered, still attempting to comprehend the bomb Cece had handed me.
Amber had tears in her eyes, but she was red from anger as she darted me an angry look.
“Can someone please tell me this is a lie, please?” Trista eyed all of us before she looked at Amber. “Tell me this is not true.”
“You better f*cking own up to it, you skank!” I hissed at her before Emma pushed me off, holding me down.
Amber was on fire. “Do you know how lucky you are? You have these two wonderful men, who love you, but you don’t appreciate any of that. You’re a selfish bitch, Lindsey!” Amber hissed at me, livid and outraged.
“I’ve loved Brody,” Amber continued. “I’ve always loved him, but he only has eyes for you. He’s a good man. I begged him that night… because I just wanted a piece of him… to remember something of him that was only mine and no one could take away.
“You all are lucky!” She directed towards Trista, “You have Taylor and it’s sickening how much he loves you.” She looked at Emma. “You have Carter, even though you don’t want him, he won’t go away. Then, you have Bass. Even though this shit with Nikki is messed up, one look is all I need to see how much he worships you.” She paused, teary. “I’m happy for you guys, especially for you, Tris. I see all these happy faces while I’m far from it. No one loves me. F*ck, even my parents don’t. Am I that worthless?”
“You’re still a back-stabbing bitch!” I shot out before shutting myself in my room, not wanting to see her face any longer.
“Linds? Do you want to talk? Open the door.” Emma was shaking the doorjamb, but I wasn’t ready to talk.
Not right now, let me be. I needed space, from everyone, from my family, from the rest of the world.
That night, Brody tried to get in my room, but he wasn’t successful.
I was too angry and the betrayal that I felt from Cece before didn’t compare to Amber; her betrayal was so much worse because I let myself believe that Brody and I had a future together. How could I build one with him when our past kept hounding me? How could I forgive and forget when the people that betrayed me were the ones I loved?
Most of all, Amber. For so many years, she never said anything about her feelings for Brody. How could she even fathom seducing the man that I wanted then? Let alone loved? She said she was in love with him, too. How the hell did I not see that?
There was never a time I noticed that she did. She acted the same. How many lies did she hide from the rest of us? How long had she been pretending to be someone that she’s not? She should’ve come to me and confronted me about Brody. I certainly didn’t need to hear if from Cece, it made things unbelievably worse.
Betrayal. Would I ever live without it? I despised that word. It shrouded my childhood, my teenage years and now. To this day, it was the same old crap. When would it leave me?
Brody’s betrayal was my payment for hurting Dimitris. Karma was a mean bitch. I crushed my husband’s heart and now it was crushing mine.
Hurt and vulnerable, I stuck myself in my room, ignoring every single person that knocked on my door.