“I’ll leave as soon as I’m done so I’ll be back around five or six.”
“Want to get dinner when you’re back then? I mean; I wouldn’t have seen my bump in a couple weeks,” he said, running his hand over my flat belly.
I loved him even more knowing how much he loved our child.
“Sure,” I whispered, finding it hard to resist the urge to push up on my feet and kiss him. “Nothing spicy though. She doesn’t like spicy.”
“We’re so going to be screwed if we have a boy,” he said, shaking his head and smiling.
“Why? You don’t want a boy?”
“No, I don’t care what it is, but we always say she. You’ve only ever looked at girl stuff or thought of girl names. The poor boy will be called Annie.”
“I’m not sure I like Annie so much now.”
“Okay, well whatever we decide. Where do you want these?” he asked, holding up one of my thongs.
I gasped and grabbed it from his hand. “I hate you! God if I wasn’t pregnant I’d jump on you right now.”
“Hey, you can still do that,” he replied, laughing and dodging my hand as I tried to slap him. “The midwife said sex in pregnancy is perfectly safe.”
“I didn’t mean that kind of jumping on you!”
He sighed. “Oh well, we’re almost at the horny month.”
He’d been going on about this for a while. Apparently he’d seen on TV that month four was when your hormones went crazy, and you were turned on a lot.
“Hmm, but you’ll be back home, and I’ll be here, surrounded by plenty of good-looking men,” I teased.
He froze on the spot, face falling.
“Hey! As if I’m going to sleep with anyone else while I’m carrying your baby. I’m not that kind of girl,” I said. That hurt.
“I know you’re not.”
“Then why the face?”
“Nothing. You want me to move that wardrobe over?”
He walked to the end of my room and looked either side of the wardrobe. The look wasn’t ‘nothing’. I didn’t want to even say it in my head in case I’d got the wrong idea but… jealousy? The idea that he could be jealous over me gave me a thrill. But I still wasn’t going to push it. I wanted us to be together, but I wanted him to make the first move, so I was sure it was what he really wanted.
“Sure. I’d do it myself but…” I rubbed my belly.
Jasper smirked. “But you’re a weakling girl?”
I knew he’d only said that for a reaction, so I didn’t give him one.
“When you’ve finished that you can buy me lunch. The baby is hungry.” I could tell him the baby wanted its mum to have a diamond necklace, and he’d buy it. He was obsessed with doing things right and controlling everything – because he’d had no control over what his dad had done to them.
Jasper bought me lunch and then, later on, dinner. He was hanging around, not wanting to leave. As time went on his posture changed dramatically. He was tense and uneasy.
“I’ll be fine, Jasper,” I said as the clock ticked closer to ten p.m.
He forced a smile. “I know that. Promise you’ll call if you need anything.”
“I will. Please stop worrying, we’ll be alright.”
His jaw flexed, but he said nothing.
“We’ll be fine,” I repeated. I watched his eyes darken in what looked like fear. He was scared to be away from us in case something happened.
“Jasper,” I whispered, my heart breaking for him and how much he was still suffering after what his dad did to him.
“Don’t,” he said and covered his lips over mine. I was shocked at first, but by the time I knew what was happening, I responded to his desperate kiss.
My final class of the day was over, and I couldn’t wait to get home. I’d completed two weeks back at university and knowing I had a baby coming made me miss my family even more. I wanted to be around them while I was pregnant and over-emotional. I’d ventured into the crying-over-the-stupidest-things realm and needed my mum.
“So glad this week is over,” Yasmin said as we walked back towards our shared flat. “I thought it was never going to end.”
“Me too. It feels like the end of the year rather than the beginning. I have no idea how I’m going to get though the rest of it.” I had six months of my pregnancy left and eight months of uni.
With all the work of the final year already starting to pile up, I was having major second thoughts. Studying for final exams with a newborn was going to be a nightmare. At least if the baby was already here when I started my final year I’d be able to get childcare. It was okay for everyone else to be positive about it when they weren’t the ones that had to do it.
“You’ll be fine, Hol, you’ve aced every test and assignment so far.”
“That’s because I have time to study. What am I going to do when I have a screaming baby needing my attention?”
“Don’t they sleep like sixteen hours a day at first?”